whatisgoingon Posted November 3, 2009 Posted November 3, 2009 My xMM called me the other nite 5 times after finally getting annoyed enough I answered. He talked about alot of nothing, he and his W have split up. He said something that made me laugh just wanted some input on it. We were talking in general about his W, there problems and so on, and he says "I love talking to you, and really this is probably what got us in this situation in the first place. " Then he says we will PROBABLY never be together...I laughed and said probably hey? Then I wondered why he just didnt say we will never be together would of put my mind at ease. I wanted to text him Sunday and ask what that meant the probably thing but did not do it as I think at this point NC is a good thing, but seems everytime I initiate it he comes back with a vengence, calling saying can I talk to you, or he just shows up at my house. I have a date this weekend with a SG and I am forcing myself to go as I know I need to get away from the situation I am in, but it has my stomach in knots. I need some input has anyone ever got the Probably word? Was he saying it from his point or was he saying it knowing I am not going to wait around forever?
Heather1 Posted November 3, 2009 Posted November 3, 2009 I got this word all the time too??? Maybe they're not aware they're saying it?? I think they're just talking themselves out of what they want to really happen. Every time my OM said, "this probably won't happen again" it did. Guys are weird that way. If it's not going to happen, why even mention it?? Really though, he's just "probably" very confused. We all are, huh?
fooled once Posted November 3, 2009 Posted November 3, 2009 My xMM called me the other nite 5 times after finally getting annoyed enough I answered. He talked about alot of nothing, he and his W have split up. He said something that made me laugh just wanted some input on it. We were talking in general about his W, there problems and so on, and he says "I love talking to you, and really this is probably what got us in this situation in the first place. " Then he says we will PROBABLY never be together...I laughed and said probably hey? Then I wondered why he just didnt say we will never be together would of put my mind at ease. I wanted to text him Sunday and ask what that meant the probably thing but did not do it as I think at this point NC is a good thing, but seems everytime I initiate it he comes back with a vengence, calling saying can I talk to you, or he just shows up at my house. I have a date this weekend with a SG and I am forcing myself to go as I know I need to get away from the situation I am in, but it has my stomach in knots. I need some input has anyone ever got the Probably word? Was he saying it from his point or was he saying it knowing I am not going to wait around forever? He said it to let you down easy - to just say "we won't ever be together" would be a slap in the face to you. It is like saying "thanks for the sex - it was good - see ya". He said it to save face and not make himself look like the big a** that he is.
NoIDidn't Posted November 3, 2009 Posted November 3, 2009 I agree with fooled, its a letting you down easy word. My ex told me he would probably marry his girlfriend. He did. Probably as a word for conflict avoiders means that's exactly what will happen. They've already decided as much and are just telling you gently.
RedDevil66 Posted November 3, 2009 Posted November 3, 2009 You'll probably never really know, so try not to even get the answers. It will just drive you mad. He's gone and now go find real happiness :-) Good luck on your date
Author whatisgoingon Posted November 3, 2009 Author Posted November 3, 2009 I got this word all the time too??? Maybe they're not aware they're saying it?? I think they're just talking themselves out of what they want to really happen. Every time my OM said, "this probably won't happen again" it did. Guys are weird that way. If it's not going to happen, why even mention it?? Really though, he's just "probably" very confused. We all are, huh? absolutely!!!! More now then ever....
Angel1111 Posted November 3, 2009 Posted November 3, 2009 I would agree with the others except that i don't understand why he keeps contacting you and then decides to throw in that statement. It's pretty twisted but I'll just tell you what my rule of thumb is - when a guy confuses me or sounds doubtful in any way, or gives mixed messages by confusing words and actions, I'll take it as disinterest or indecision and walk away. Go on your date with the SG, he'll be a lot less of a headache than xMM - who will be talking about and dissecting his divorce for the next 2 yrs.
MizzBlue72 Posted November 3, 2009 Posted November 3, 2009 Ah honey ... I'm so sorry for you. I haven't heard the word 'probably'... I have heard the word 'never' and then 'always'. And it's tough. Hang in there!! At least it's not never!! Huge hugs.
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