claire49 Posted November 3, 2009 Posted November 3, 2009 I met my partner 8 yrs ago, as I was suffering a nervous breakdown, he was brilliant and helped me look after my 2 boys, who were 6 and 8 at the time. I was a single parent dealing with Illness and my youngest son has Autism and learning difficulties. Life has been so horrid and I really dont know what I would have done without this man in my life. As I have now recovered as much as I think I will ever will, although I am still suffering clinical depression on and off. I cant seem to cope with stress, like I could before my breakdown, and now my relationship is so awful. Every time we argue, he calls me the most awful names, like loony, loon, has threatened to have my children taken away, in the past, He tells me everyday that I have ruined his life, and walks away to his mums constantly and leaves me in floods of tears and despair. Sometimes he goes for 2 weeks and tells me he is never coming back. (He is 44!) you see I should be glad that he goes, but I get panic attacks then I feel as though I cannot cope, its so awful, then I feel I am getting ill, and need him here. He used to be so charming! Now he just calls me names, and tells me I am a crap parent. (I have always done my best). My family dont live near me. I wish I was stronger, and did not get so depressed. I wish I had the guts to say get lost. Why do I feel like I love and need a man that makes me cry constantly? Im so sorry to rant on. Some of the things hes called me over the years are totally not printable. I feel ugly, useless, weak and a total waste of space. can someone please help!!
Barby Posted November 3, 2009 Posted November 3, 2009 ****Hugs**** Listen he is the waste of space! What a piece of sh*t to make you feel this way. He chose to stay there and help you take care of your children and now he is saying that you ruined his life? Sweety, I'm sure it's hard being alone but it has to be better than being verbally and emotionally abused on a daily basis. That would bring on more emotional stress and pain and panic than being alone. Being alone can be scary and this change may be what's causing the panic attacks but remember you deserve better than that. You're not weak because you're reaching out and seeking help/advice. You should just not take him back. Life being put down on a daily basis isn't a life worth having. Be glad he's gone... in time it will get easier and maybe soon you'll meet someone worth your love and in the meantime you should work on your self esteem and try and realize your worth and value and assets and focus on your children now instead of him. Good luck to you. We're here for you!
mark982 Posted November 3, 2009 Posted November 3, 2009 claire,he's a loser,you're going to have to dump this bum. there's alot of really good men out there you deserve better. good luck
drivesmecrazy3 Posted November 3, 2009 Posted November 3, 2009 your an extremely strong and wonderful person and your children are lucky to have you.
Jaytb Posted November 3, 2009 Posted November 3, 2009 yeah he is not a good person. Get him out of your life as soon as possible. you deserve waaay better.
Template Posted November 3, 2009 Posted November 3, 2009 A person should never go through this kind of abuse. There haven't been one person here that says you should stay with him. Run, run away now!
TaraMaiden Posted November 3, 2009 Posted November 3, 2009 For someone to be spinning a condition back on you and using it as a form of abuse, is tantamount to severe mental cruelty, and he is cripplng your self-esteem and confidence to a completely unacceptable low. You need support from a therapist or counsellor, but more, you need support from an organisation that helps you cope with the aftermath of abuse. You also need to change the locks, and get a restraining order against him. This has gone far enough. Is there anyone, close to you, who could provide you with some practical and moral support while you extricate yourself from this mess? We're here - but whikle you still have the means to be logical - to be your own woman, and to still think clearly - act, now, to save you and importantly, your children from this total whackjob. Good luck.
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