Girls: Height preference is ok. Men: If you have weight as a preference you're a pig

November 5, 2009

Have you met my roommate? lol.

My roommate once told me that she likes guys over 6' tall because she wants a man who can protect her. My response was, "From what?" She didn't have an answer.

Even though I agree with you that it's stupid, I disagree with your reasoning. If women are attracted to height because through evolution taller men were more likely better protectors, then it would make sense that they are still attracted to height nowadays. But the fact that she places such importance on it means that it's not just because she's looking for a guy who can protect her better. Like I said in previous posts, if a woman was looking for the best protector they would pick the most physically capable mate. This means they would choose a buff 5'6 guy over a skinny 6 foot guy. But that's not the way it is for most women, they seem to prefer height over everything, and this wouldn't happen if it was just biological.

Not to mention that women also seem to dislike guys who are too muscular, so they are completely contradicting themselves in saying they want a guy who is tall (which may mean by chance he is a better protector) but not too bulky (when muscle means actual strength). Height may have been an indirect indicator of strength, because being tall in the past may have meant you were more likely to be stronger, but actual muscle mass means you're definitely stronger. Therefore it does not make sense to choose height over muscle.

November 5, 2009

Tell that to a midget...

being a midget is due to health complications. Being technically below average but still completely normal does not say anything about how good or bad your genes are. Being above average does not mean anything about how good or bad your genes are. It merely means that your genes just happened to make you a certian height. And being taller does not in any way meant better, just as being shorter does not mean worse.

November 5, 2009

Amen

A woman (or man for that matter) who sits around watching TV gobbling back pork chunks and doesnt exercise is someone who caused their own blubbery dating doom. Some guy (or girl for that matter) who was born of a nonstandard height for their sex (super tall females, or shorter males) could work out every day, eat right, screw like an animal and be the most perfect mate and who had zero choice in the matter.

I kind of understand the whole not wanting the height to be TOO differential, like a 6 foot tall woman is going to have a hard time getting it on with a 5 foot 3 guy, just too many inches in the way for a comfortable kiss, but I do find that way too many women want the tall daddy man, they could be 5 foot 5 and they want a man over six feet, it doesnt make much sense.

It is what it is, however and us bitching about it isnt exactly going to change anything.

However to the ladies that have a big problem when a guy says he likes thin women... Next time a fat slob guy asks you out, go for it! Whats pounds on a scale anyways, go for that guy that weighs three and a half bills and who is rounder than he is tall - there's just more of him to love!

*cough*. Um, get it? Um yeah. Women at least stop beaking at guys when they have their own standards.

November 5, 2009

being a midget is due to health complications. Being technically below average but still completely normal does not say anything about how good or bad your genes are. Being above average does not mean anything about how good or bad your genes are. It merely means that your genes just happened to make you a certian height. And being taller does not in any way meant better, just as being shorter does not mean worse.

Yes, taller is better, because tall men are generally faster and stronger than short men. Take a look at professional athletes in just about any physically demanding sport. The vast majority of them are over 6' tall and very few are below 5'10. If we lived in a primitive society, tall men would have a very clear survival advantage (hence, "better" genes). And although we do not live in a primitive society, the subconscious part of a woman's brain that is responsible for evaluating the attractiveness of potential mates is not aware of that.

November 5, 2009

Yes, taller is better, because tall men are generally faster and stronger than short men.

Youre talking athletes the .2 percent most physically gifted people in the country not the average tall guy

And Basektball is by far the tallest sport but everyone knows NFL players on average are much stronger

November 5, 2009

Even though I agree with you that it's stupid, I disagree with your reasoning. If women are attracted to height because through evolution taller men were more likely better protectors, then it would make sense that they are still attracted to height nowadays. But the fact that she places such importance on it means that it's not just because she's looking for a guy who can protect her better.

That was exactly my point. She claims she's attracted for logical reasons (protection), but there's no logic to "I like taller guys, because I want a man who can protect me."

Even if height had a direct correlation to strength, what do women really need protected from? A mugging, being robbed, etc? If somebody were attacking you, they'd probably have a weapon these days, and neither height nor muscles are a match for knives and guns. In the western world today, there's not a whole lot of need for a woman's partner to protect her physically.

My old roommate did have a perfectly legitimate reason for wanting to date taller guys. She's only 5' and she wants to increase her chances of having tall babies.

Edited November 5, 2009 by crazy_grl

November 5, 2009

Youre talking athletes the .2 percent most physically gifted people in the country not the average tall guy

And Basektball is by far the tallest sport but everyone knows NFL players on average are much stronger

While you can certainly find a particular short guy who is more athletic than a particular tall guy, there is no doubt whatsoever than an average tall guy would be more athletic than an average short guy.

And speaking of NFL players, how many of them are under 6' ??

November 5, 2009

Even if height had a direct correlation to strength, what do women really need protected from? A mugging, being robbed, etc? If somebody were attacking you, they'd probably have a weapon these days, and neither height nor muscles are a match for knives and guns. In the western world today, there's not a whole lot of need for a woman's partner to protect her physically.

Attraction works on a subconscious level. You can't chose what you are attracted to. So although it is true that a taller man would not be a better protector in today's world because guns kill tall people just as well as they kill the short ones, the subconscious part of your brain that is responsible for attraction is not aware of that.

November 5, 2009

And speaking of NFL players, how many of them are under 6' ??

Quite a few aside from o lineman and most qb's

November 5, 2009

Attraction works on a subconscious level. You can't chose what you are attracted to. So although it is true that a taller man would not be a better protector in today's world because guns kill tall people just as well as they kill the short ones, the subconscious part of your brain that is responsible for attraction is not aware of that.

I think a lot of women legitimately think they need a larger man to protect them and don't realize how stupid that belief is. I think that influences their preferences quite a bit. If they just thought about it and realized that a tall man won't protect them any more than a short one, they might gradually open themselves up to men they wouldn't have previously seen as desirable when they had this silly idea that their partner needs to protect them.

I used to personally be into only guys 6' or taller until I realized how dumb that was. Now I think a lot of guys are attractive, including some short, even (gasp) Asian ones.

November 5, 2009

I doubt it. I think the main thing is that your friend feels safer when she's with someone taller, not that she actually sat down and thought about it. People generally accept that they feel things that don't make sense, it's just not that easy to change what you believe and how it makes you feel.

It's like, some people are afraid of closed spaces, but it's not like they can just realize that closed spaced are totally harmless and stop feeling scared.

So why were you able to change?

Emotions are guided by an intricate web of beliefs that are built over time to give us an accurate representation of the world around us. They're connected in our minds in a way that we try to keep as consistent as possible. Usually you can't just change one belief and actually believe it unless it's consistent with your current belief structure. I guess for you it wasn't that hard to rearrange your beliefs to make room for the possibility that short men can be attractive.

But other people have different experiences and I'd say for the majority of them it won't be that easy. Their beliefs strongly support tall=safe and they have other beliefs that rely on that belief in order to create their view of the world that makes sense. Just recognizing the fact that an armed robber makes the whole point moot isn't going to be enough to change the way she's been socialized to respond emotionally.

BTW why did you gasp at being attracted to Asians?

November 5, 2009

lol this is such a funny conversation.

I especailly like the "I like to feel protected" and the resulting question "Protected from what?"

If it comes down to protection, the nut bar gun collector guy they use as an example of what picture NOT to use on Plenty of Fish would be probably the main man they would all go for. He may look like a pot bellied pig but hes got an arsenal to be reckoned with.

Ironically though I find women go for a tall guy to be protected but they HATE guns or weapons. It really doesnt make any sense its all in their brains.

Honestly like Sigmund Freud said, when a woman is having relationship problems, he asks, "Tell me about your father". Its that father complex. It doesnt really matter how tall the guy is, as long as he's taller than HER. Like her father was. The father made the girl feel safe when she was little, and he was taller than she was.

Really these girls should be banging their own dads? No that was a bad joke. But honestly that's where it comes from.

If it was about protection, the nutbar psycho looking military wannabe guy with all the knives walking around in combat outfits would be the hottest crap out there. You all know the guy, the perpetual survivalist who learns about ripping people's hearts out just in case the apocalypse happnens and keeps a bomb shelter and enough guns to man a small army. Thats the safest guy to be around.

But they dont want a psycho guy who will keep them safe no matter what. They want a sexy guy who makes them FEEL safe.

My ex went with a tall guy probably for the same reasons after me, some guy who was like 6'4". The guy cracked under pressure in Nicauragua, nearly got forced into slavery. The hordes of small hispanic people scared the daylights out of him and he froze like a deer in headlights. She keeps a souviner of the fake travel documents that they made him buy for 10 dollars US as a reminder that the big guys arent always the tough guys. Ironically, when the **** was hitting the fan, all she could think of was me, Mr. Little 5 foot 6 and how I would have never cracked under that sort of pressure and she told me so less than three hours after she came back from that place.

Fairy tales and unicorns are what women are taught when they are little. So they seek that tall handsome prince charming who will save them. Unfortunately, Mr. Tall Pretty Boy rarely could hold a candle when the **** hits the fan. Actually, its the short guy who got picked on throughout high school who is the best bet.

But hey... Everyone is entitled to their fantasies. :-) Even women. And hey, as a 5 foot 6 guy I love the concept of a 5 foot 3 girl like I'm seeing right now. Makes me feel taller. Lol. Not that I ever cared before, I usually have dated girls the same height as me, its more comfortable when you can swap running shoes and track pants.

Anyways I always laugh at the la la lands that people create for themselves. Myself included... after the fact of course.

November 5, 2009

The answer is women see short guys as kids or boys and tall guys as mature men.

November 5, 2009

I'm sick of this double standard.

Virtually every girl agrees that having a height preference is fine, and it's just having "standards", yet if a guy prefers thin women...

From the OKcupid forums:

http://www.okcupid.com/forum?tid=12241354882162481663

With respect, OP, I think there is a big difference here and it is as follows: women are nowhere near as crazy about height as men tend to be about weight.

Women who are not attracted to certain men usually don't mock, berate, and belittle them. However, too many men operate on the assumption that if they don't find a woman attractive, they don't even have to show her common courtesy.

November 5, 2009

Yes, taller is better, because tall men are generally faster and stronger than short men. Take a look at professional athletes in just about any physically demanding sport. The vast majority of them are over 6' tall and very few are below 5'10. If we lived in a primitive society, tall men would have a very clear survival advantage (hence, "better" genes). And although we do not live in a primitive society, the subconscious part of a woman's brain that is responsible for evaluating the attractiveness of potential mates is not aware of that.

That's mainly because most of the sports involve ball passing and being taller makes it easier to get the ball over other players. It's not a good comparison to the wild in real life.

I agree with you in that on average a taller person may be more capable, but the thing is, this fact alone does not explain the huge thing women have towards tall guys. Height may be indirectly linked to being more physically capable because a taller person may be on average stronger, but the connection is not such an obvious one that women would think height is more attractive than all other physical traits. Let's look at muscle for instance. Muscle is directly linked to physical strength so for a woman it should be the most attractive thing. And yet women seem to find height more attractive than muscle even though height is only somewhat linked to strength.

The answer is women see short guys as kids or boys and tall guys as mature men.

No that's not why

November 5, 2009

If a guy doesn't want to date women who are larger, that's just a preference, same as women who prefer tall men.

If a guy gets into a relationship with a larger woman, then his friends make fun of him, starts haranging her to lose weight or dumps her, he's shallow.

If a woman gets into a relationship with a short man, then her friends make fun of her so she dumps him, she's shallow.

If a guy gets into a long-term relationship with a woman who after a number of years, starts to gain weight and he dumps her, he's shallow, particularly if there's a reason why she is gaining weight.

If a woman gets into a relationship with a short man who after a number of years, wants a taller man so she dumps him, she's shallow.

November 5, 2009

That's mainly because most of the sports involve ball passing and being taller makes it easier to get the ball over other players. It's not a good comparison to the wild in real life.

What about boxing? How many heavyweight champions are under 6'? The shortest guy I can think of is Mike Tyson and he's 5'11.5. What about sprint runners?

I agree with you in that on average a taller person may be more capable, but the thing is, this fact alone does not explain the huge thing women have towards tall guys. Height may be indirectly linked to being more physically capable because a taller person may be on average stronger, but the connection is not such an obvious one that women would think height is more attractive than all other physical traits. Let's look at muscle for instance. Muscle is directly linked to physical strength so for a woman it should be the most attractive thing. And yet women seem to find height more attractive than muscle even though height is only somewhat linked to strength.

Because women are concerned about passing "good genes" to their offspring. A slim man can become muscular but a short man could never become tall.

This is really the only logical explanation for why women prefer taller men. Height preference is both cross-cultural and cross-generational. Being tall has always been seen as desirable...even in ancient greek myths and medieval ballads, the heroes are always portrayed as tall and towering over their enemies.

November 5, 2009

Because women are concerned about passing "good genes" to their offspring.

I'm well aware that these things are rooted in what allowed our ancestors to survive, hunt food and evade predators. Those traits that were physically advantageous became socially advantageous at the genetic level.

That's a different thing from what you're saying. You're describing traits like large breasts and long legs as being objectively good genes or bad genes.

As if you were describing superiority and inferiority, like a high IQ or a low IQ, good health or poor health. You're not saying long legs makes a person superior socially, you're saying it makes a person superior period. I guess that in and of itself presents an interesting question, is reality more than the sum of our genes? If how we view things is determined by our genes, but how we view things is not necessarily a reflection of the reality of things, which reality is more important?

That's why I keep going back to the Japanese. They're a group of people who on average have shorter legs and smaller chests, and yet no one would say they have bad genes. If you said people who were shorter have bad genes, then you'd have to say that the Dutch for instance had better genes than the Japanese. There's just no way around that conclusion.

November 5, 2009

I generally don't find myself compatible with overweight women for three reasons.

1. I don't find it physically attractive

2. I enjoy working out -- if my girlfriend were someone that wasn't into keeping herself fit, that's a fairly big lifestyle difference

3. Overweight people tend to have more health complications

In general, I don't think it's shallow or unreasonable to want someone who takes care of themselves. A woman with a few extra pounds is not enough to turn me away unless she leads a very lazy lifestyle and is never up for doing anything. Part of it is physical, granted, but part of it is also attitude. Keeping in shape is hard work -- I'm not going to pretend it isn't for even a second. But the kind of girl I want is someone who understands that and yet still puts in the time to take care of her body. It's the same mindset I possess for myself, and I think it's a core lifestyle value that would be required for a good compatibility (at least in that department).

Some people have different body types than others, sure. But if you're eating right and working your ass off, you WILL get in shape. Energy in, energy out.

So if someone's going to call me a pig for wanting someone in shape, then so be it -- I don't really care. For instance, I'm not going to sit and whine about why girls don't tolerate some negative aspect of myself -- I'd rather do something about it. I am extremely shy, but I'm not going to blame women and call them names for not seeking me out or for not generally preferring shy guys to extremely outgoing guys. It means I need to make some changes and improve my social skills so I am more comfortable about women. Likewise with people who are overweight -- instead of complaining, take the steps necessary to get yourself in shape. It's hard, but well worth it.

Edited November 5, 2009 by Vertex

November 5, 2009

I doubt it. I think the main thing is that your friend feels safer when she's with someone taller, not that she actually sat down and thought about it.

I'm saying that she obviously hasn't sat down and thought about it or she would have realized how dumb it was and never would have said it.

People generally accept that they feel things that don't make sense, it's just not that easy to change what you believe and how it makes you feel.

I disagree. I think that excuse is a cop out.

So why were you able to change?

Because you can change things if you think about them rationally and want to change them. Don't use cop outs. I'm not really afraid of heights or closed spaces anymore either and I used to not be able to even walk to the edge of a 2nd floor balcony when I was younger.

I guess for you it wasn't that hard to rearrange your beliefs to make room for the possibility that short men can be attractive.

But other people have different experiences and I'd say for the majority of them it won't be that easy.

Only because they don't want to. Maybe because they think a tall guy will impress their friends or any number of other reasons, but it's not because they're incapable of finding a short guy attractive. I bet there are a few actors that many girls think are hot, but they don't realize the guy's actual height. Suddenly, knowing the guy is 4 inches shorter than a woman thought they were makes the actor unattractive (I've seen a instance of this first hand). That's not some naturally ingrained, unexplainable mystery of attraction. That's social bias.

BTW why did you gasp at being attracted to Asians?

Because I bet if you were to count, there's only about a million mentions on this site of how girls (especially attractive white girls) aren't attracted to Asian men.

November 5, 2009

What about boxing? How many heavyweight champions are under 6'? The shortest guy I can think of is Mike Tyson and he's 5'11.5. What about sprint runners?
.

LOL that's funny man. Heavyweight champions? I think any short guy entering that weight category would be obese How many light flyweight champions have been over 6'? Distance runners tend to be shorter as well, just to highlight your bias skew.

And anyway using your sports thing, tell us, for the most popular sport in the world, football (soccer for luddites) in the top teams, how many midfielders are over 5'8? I think you'll find it's not many because low centre of gravity coupled with quick feet and athleticism rule that area. Messi, Xavi, Iniesta? No, I don't suppose you know who they are.

Edited November 5, 2009 by Rudderless

November 5, 2009

It"s not quite the same 'preference' ...

One cannot control his height.. but one can control his weight..

I agree with this statement.

November 5, 2009

LOL that's funny man. Heavyweight champions? I think any short guy entering that weight category would be obese How many light flyweight champions have been over 6'?

So would happen if you put a flyweight and a heavyweight in the same ring? Get my point?

As for soccer, that's not even a real sport. Just a bunch of girly men faking injuries. Meh. I'm surprised you didn't bring up badminton or ping pong

November 5, 2009

I was with a really overweight woman once. I figured what the hell she was really nice and good to me and she was a nymphomaniac.

I tried to get her to do a bit of exercise with me, simple crap like going for walks and stuff because quite honestly I like to do things like that I guess maye that's why I'm NOT overweight myself. I wasnt haranging her about her weight although I was a bit curious about what she'd look like if she lost a hundred pounds I thought maybe she'd be pretty hot she was pretty tall at 5'10".

What happened? Well because I did all the cooking and I eat healthy (I lost 70 lbs myself), and because I was taking her for walks she lost 45 lbs in like four months. (If you've ever lost a lot of weight, you know that the first pounds literally fall off, its the last 30 or 40 that are the hardest to get rid of).

And guess what?

She didn't like it. So she started eating crap food and Burger King because she didn't like how her pants were falling off. She refused to go for the walks with me and her kids citing that she "wasnt feeling well". I was appalled.

So I do not for one second, both because I lost a lot of weight myself and because of that experience, beleive that any woman who is fat and overweight is not that way by choice. Calories in calories out it's simple math. 2000 calories equals a pound of fat. Short yourself 2000 calories you lose a pound. Intake an extra 2000 calories and you gain a pound.

After that experience I refuse to be with any woman who is fat. I dont require some skinny anorexic woman with an eating disorder I dont expect perfection life happens to people especially as we get older.

People point fingers at smokers and tell them they should stop smoking that it's bad for their health, they will tell smokers they should stop smoking and pester them. I think we should do that to fat people too. "Look at you, stop eating for god sakes, do you know what your doing to your health?" For some reason it's ok to pester smokers who are in tremendously good shape but that fat ass guy or woman who is bursting at the seams with LDL cholesterol and who is going to have a heart attack just walking up a couple flights of stairs, for them its not OK to peseter them they have some sort of a "medical problem".

Hogwash. Fat people are fat because they eat too much and exercise too little. It's simple.

Then when it comes to women wanting a guy because he's tall... Well that's just reality we're not about to change it but IMO I think beyond a couple inches above their own height they're just being shallow.

November 5, 2009

You know whats kind of funny?

When a gf or wife loses a lot of weight and then leaves the guy who complained about it for someone more attractive.

I agree there is a double standard, I agree that marrying a fit person and then watching them get fat would piss me off...

Still, I find this phenomena funny

Sign In

Girls: Height preference is ok. Men: If you have weight as a preference you're a pig

Recommended Posts

mbeewood

mbeewood

canadaguy98

Johnny M

AD1980

crazy_grl

Johnny M

Johnny M

AD1980

crazy_grl

bbf

canadaguy98

Yamaha

ADF

mbeewood

threebyfate

Johnny M

pacific84

Vertex

crazy_grl

Rudderless

CaliGuy

Johnny M

canadaguy98

2sure

What's New

My Activity Streams

More...