Have you ever ignored your SI instead of verbally breaking up with him/her?

[hopefullove]

Hi,

 

I have a question, for anyone who has ignored their partner, without any explaination, instead of talking things out with them.

 

I thought my ex and I were reconnecting with our relationship, we spent 3 months of chatting, and gushing and just being really sweet, and 2 weekends together of more sweet couple things, he knew i would be back in town in less than 2 months, but now I haven't heard from him at all.

 

I am just wondering if anyone has been on the other side, and what would prompt such a cowardly display after what seemed to be a promising rekindling.

 

Thanks,

[lilbelle]

this same thing happened to me and it is cowardly. The other person is left feeling like maybe they are just thinking and they will be back. I'm sorry but everyone deserves closure. A chance to grow. How can we learn from relationships when one person is so closed. To me it just shows that their egos are bigger than their hearts. I don't understand it either.

[Samantha0905]

Agreed. It's pretty disrespectful and cowardly. Chalk him up as no loss.

[WTRanger]

I was on the silent end. As is almost always the case, the person doing the ignoring has found someone new. They are just too cowardly to tell you, in case they lose you as a backup. Oh, they'll hide behind the, "I didn't tell you to spare your feelings." saint-hood clause. But we all know that is BS. As if being ignored by someone you care about is a much easier path.

[hopefullove]

i broke NC to write him to say that i think it was mean of him to do what he is doing, especially to someone he knows cares about him, and that i wanted to say something before too much time had passed.

 

and no response.

 

i dont really expect any response, but to hear no response just makes the last 2 and a half years of our relationship together, albeit on and off relationship, seem like a complete lie.... im saddened.

[Nikki Sahagin]

My ex broke up with me by email so he wasn't silent but it hurt enough.

 

I think they are cowardly, weak, confused, sometimes just want to get you out of the way as quick as they can.

 

My ex treated me like s*** and now acts like the big I AM and I don't know what happened to the guy I once knew.

[BCCA]

I was on the silent end. As is almost always the case, the person doing the ignoring has found someone new. They are just too cowardly to tell you, in case they lose you as a backup. Oh, they'll hide behind the, "I didn't tell you to spare your feelings." saint-hood clause. But we all know that is BS. As if being ignored by someone you care about is a much easier path.

 

This is very true.

 

Often times, there is nothing they can say to make it any better or seem any less crappy. They have just been totally selfish, and now, they have someone else and dont need you anymore. Nothing they can say to you is going to help anyone, so they take the cowards way out and dissapear.

[threebyfate]

IMO, the silent treatment is used to avoid:

1. The drama of breakup which sometimes, surprisingly includes the back-arse thought of not wanting to hurt someone else.
   
2. It leaves the door open for future contact, in case they change their minds.
   
3. It's also used as a form of manipulation, whether punishment or trying to get someone to do what you want, since the one who breaks first, is perceived to "lose". In the latter scenario, it's a lose/lose situation.
   

[Dexter Morgan]

this same thing happened to me and it is cowardly.

 

it all depends. if they just give you the silent treatment because they want to break up and are afraid...sure, its cowardly.

 

but if someone did something that caused another to want to break up, such as cheating, then the person doing the breaking up doesn't owe them a thing. in that case its not cowardly...its simply they are pissed off and don't feel they need to waste time. in that case it would be letting the person they are breaking up with waste their time trying to contact them and such.

 

it wouldn't be what I'd do, but I would understand it. I'd want to tell someone exactly why I'm breaking up, then after that, I'll ignore their attempts to contact me.

[sandflea]

Everyone deserves closure. Waiting on some right now. Sucks.

 

But - having said that - I'm not "waiting by the phone". I know I'm a catch, and someone will come along shortly. This is true for all of us.

 

Sorry about your pain. I can't stand emotional cowards as well.

 

I want a partner, not a project.

 

 

Hang in there.

 

Hi,

 

I have a question, for anyone who has ignored their partner, without any explaination, instead of talking things out with them.

 

I thought my ex and I were reconnecting with our relationship, we spent 3 months of chatting, and gushing and just being really sweet, and 2 weekends together of more sweet couple things, he knew i would be back in town in less than 2 months, but now I haven't heard from him at all.

 

I am just wondering if anyone has been on the other side, and what would prompt such a cowardly display after what seemed to be a promising rekindling.

 

Thanks,

[hopefullove]

I sent him an email on Monday, and i still havent heard anything back, today is Friday... I kind of feel better every day, a little bit better, knowing that he is a complete jerk. no more excuses.

[trueblue72ny]

The silent treatment is NOT COOL!!!!