craig841 Posted November 2, 2009 Posted November 2, 2009 I met this girl a couple of weeks ago at uni, and we hung out quite a bit and had a really good time, finding we had a lot in common and that we could keep a conversation going for a while. But a couple of days ago, she started being a bit strange. Before we would hold eye contact when talking and I would catch her glancing at me occasionally, making me think she liked me. I recently found out she also had a boyfriend, which made me back off a little on any flirting, not wanting to push anything at all. Now all of a sudden she rarely looks me in the eye when talking to me, and seems less comfortable with me than before. This confuses me because nothing has happened between us. I haven't been around her constantly, nor have I made a big move which would cause her to feel awkward. Why this sudden change? It seems completely puzzling to me.
carhill Posted November 2, 2009 Posted November 2, 2009 Things with BF are better. Worker monkey not so necessary
Author craig841 Posted November 2, 2009 Author Posted November 2, 2009 Things with BF are better. Worker monkey not so necessary That hurts considering her bf just went to France. For a while.
carhill Posted November 2, 2009 Posted November 2, 2009 Doesn't matter. Women fill voids. Men are easy targets. She'll be back
Author craig841 Posted November 2, 2009 Author Posted November 2, 2009 And what did you mean by worker monkey?
carhill Posted November 2, 2009 Posted November 2, 2009 A worker monkey fills the woman's needs and desires not met by her primary monkey, that being BF. These needs may be emotional; they may be 'chores'. Anything she wants and can't get from the guy she's banging. She uses her sexual charm to elicit acts from men who might desire her or just have lousy boundaries against being manipulated.
Author craig841 Posted November 2, 2009 Author Posted November 2, 2009 A worker monkey fills the woman's needs and desires not met by her primary monkey, that being BF. These needs may be emotional; they may be 'chores'. Anything she wants and can't get from the guy she's banging. She uses her sexual charm to elicit acts from men who might desire her or just have lousy boundaries against being manipulated. And yet strange that this behaviour starts when her bf goes away. I probably didn't make this clear...he was around seeing her for a few days, and then when he went away this behaviour started. Does this change anything?
carhill Posted November 2, 2009 Posted November 2, 2009 I would expect approaches for validation/help to become more pronounced during periods of relationship strife and/or periods of separation for whatever reason, if the woman's psyche is such that she depends on outside validation and/or 'help'. Remember, she can have an army of helper monkeys and your services may not be desired right now, so she sends this message by ignoring you. You will find, if you approach her, even in a friendly, non-aggressive way, she will become annoyed. Try it
carhill Posted November 2, 2009 Posted November 2, 2009 If she contacts you, invite her to hang out at an activity you enjoy. After all, she has a BF and you're 'friends'. That's what friends do. Don't do anything that could be construed as 'psuedo-dating'. Don't talk at length. Excuse yourself. Include her in a social group with other females as a 'friend'. You absolutely could leave her alone, but I'm curious how deep the rabbit hole goes IME, annoyance at any of these offers says that she's just using you and has no interest in you, even as a platonic friend (the 'friendzone').
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