boogieboy Posted November 3, 2009 Posted November 3, 2009 See that JJ? I told you that you were thick. YOu must not know what its like when a girl is really into you, for a full on relationship. They will cross the country to come and kiss you for 10 minutes. Well anyway, we've all been though it, decieved by a woman who needed attention, then took advantage of us....trying to spare their own guilt by lying wherever they can, and you were so in love that you believed it all. Dont worry, as long as you work on finding a new girl, you will forget about this one, and you need to. Who wants to be with such a liar that you never had anyway. It might take a couple months, but your mind will clear up, and you will see the acts she did that will look different by objective eyes.
drivesmecrazy3 Posted November 3, 2009 Posted November 3, 2009 Yeah man I feel you, except today the girl im crazy about has been constantly messaing me all day about some other guy thats shes crazzzzzy about. Pretty much throwing lots of crap in my face. At least you dont have that
Author JJ1983 Posted November 3, 2009 Author Posted November 3, 2009 oh wow!! Thats beyond f'd up!! Does this girl know how you feel about her?
BCCA Posted November 3, 2009 Posted November 3, 2009 she deleted me from FB because we had a fight and did it out of anger. My own first cousin deleted me when we had a fight. She never would have just deleted me otherwise. Dude, it doesnt matter. I know its hard not to rationalize everything, but at the end of the day - it is what it is. You have to let this go and walk away. Its your only choice at this point. Stop trying to unravel it all, it just doesnt matter. It isnt going to work out how you wanted it too, which sucks, but no point in wasting any more time.
boogieboy Posted November 3, 2009 Posted November 3, 2009 oh wow!! Thats beyond f'd up!! Does this girl know how you feel about her? Thast just the thing. She doesnt care. if she did, she would be with him, and not complaining about the guy she likes. He allows her to treat him like an emotional tampon. The first time he got the hint that she wasnt into him, he was supposed to cut her off, but he didnt. She is either using him just for lonely company, or she is giving him constant hints that it will never happen between them two.
Author JJ1983 Posted November 3, 2009 Author Posted November 3, 2009 To me it sounds like she is purposely trying to hurt him. If shes messaging him about another guy all day knowing how he feels about her, then shes a twisted vindictive girl who needs to be put in her place
BCCA Posted November 3, 2009 Posted November 3, 2009 To me it sounds like she is purposely trying to hurt him. If shes messaging him about another guy all day knowing how he feels about her, then shes a twisted vindictive girl who needs to be put in her place It always takes two to tango. As mean as this might sound, he's allowing her to do it to him, and he should take some responsibility. Ignore her texts, block her IM, and remove her from your buddy lists and social networks. Its just a matter of taking charge instead of hoping the world changes around you. except today the girl im crazy about has been constantly messaing me all day about some other guy thats shes crazzzzzy about WHY on earth would you allow that to happen?
Author JJ1983 Posted November 3, 2009 Author Posted November 3, 2009 Drivesmecrazy, how old are you???
torranceshipman Posted November 3, 2009 Posted November 3, 2009 JJ1983, she went out of the way to meet your family at a BBQ because she was being a true, great friend to you, and that is what friends do - she wanted to meet the people who were importany to you in your life, as you are/were an important friend to her. But for the reasons I posted about earlier, she realized you couldn't reciprocate a real, honest friendship, and that's where things went bad. In her mind, she was safe to express her feelings of friendship to you because a few weeks before she'd told you she wasn't interested in being serious with anyone, and had made it clear she isn't interested in you romantically. She clearly was trusting and took you at your word - took you literally - when you said you wanted a friendship. She sounds like a nice girl and is using classic girl speak when she went on about law school and what not...she doesn't want to hurt your feelings...she wanted to find a nice way of dissuading you from pursuing her romantically. She never lied to you - she was just always being a friend. The last thing...when you mentioned earlier about all the time and effort you'd put into this girl - that's not a good way to look at things. If it is a friendship, then no-one keeps score. Let her add you back on FB when she is ready, on her schedule - show her you can be all about HER and not all about what YOU want, and you two will get back on track friends-wise.
BG1985 Posted November 3, 2009 Posted November 3, 2009 I think if he's still got feelings for her, he shouldn't even bother being friends. He's only torturing himself by keeping this girl in his life. The only way this girl will ever let him back into her life is if she can visibly see that he's moved on.
drivesmecrazy3 Posted November 3, 2009 Posted November 3, 2009 Lol im 23, and I know how stupid ive been, but ive known this girl for a little more than a year, and she used to be completely INFATUATED with me. Getting me to like her was like a prize to her, but when she knew I did, it was game over from there and has been downhill ever since. I mean she used to be really sweet and act very caring, always telling me how much she missed and liked me. Over the months I got REALLY close to her, which is why its so hard now. After i basically decided to come clean to her and let her know how i felt, the next day she told me that she didnt feel the same way anymore and wanted to see other people. THEN as a TRIEDDD so very hard to move on, talking to/spending time with other girls, she went crazy and started acting completely jealous, which kept fueling some sort of belief within me that she really did care. But now I have to just constantly keep telling myself that she doesnt care, shes just an attention whore that wants to use my pain and suddering for her own personal benefit. Knowing that you were once on top but arent even close anymore is enough to drive someone crazy. It was the TEASE that drove me completely insane.
Author JJ1983 Posted November 3, 2009 Author Posted November 3, 2009 torranceshipman, very true. however, dont you think by telling me shes not interested in anything serious at this point thats doing me more of a disservice? For example, what is she going to do, date someone and lie to me about not seeing anyone, then all of a sudden turn up with a boyfriend and say, look, I met someone!! Then she will prove that she was lying to me about not wanting a relationship!!
BG1985 Posted November 3, 2009 Posted November 3, 2009 Drivesmecrazy3 and I must be from parallel universes. I am also 23 and was in virtually the exact situation, but mine started about two years ago to the day. This girl was absolutely smitten by me but broke up with me pretty soon after we officially became a couple. She told me it was all about the chase. Of course I let her chase me for more than a year before I finally gave in. We had become both lovers and best friends in the process, and not it is really hard trying to get over her completely. As soon as she learned that I gave a sh*t, it was game over. I also believe she had been trying to mentally get over me when she figured I was a dead end, therefore I had waited too long. It genuinely took me a while to even give a damn about her though.
BCCA Posted November 3, 2009 Posted November 3, 2009 Knowing that you were once on top but arent even close anymore is enough to drive someone crazy. It sucks dude, but you need to cast this person out of your life. Its like willingly closing your hand in a door every day. You just dont need that, whatever she felt before - its gone. very true. however, dont you think by telling me shes not interested in anything serious at this point thats doing me more of a disservice? For example, what is she going to do, date someone and lie to me about not seeing anyone, then all of a sudden turn up with a boyfriend and say, look, I met someone!! Then she will prove that she was lying to me about not wanting a relationship!! Allow me to finish her sentece... 'I'm not looking for anything serious...with you'. When she meets someone, shes just going to act like some force beyond her understanding connected her and this other person. She wont have any explination for it, and wont really try to make one. Truth be told, shes probably not going to be all that social with you when she has a bf anyway, so she doesnt really need to think it out. She isnt lying, shes just ommitting information to spare your feelings. When you wouldnt take a hint, she got angry, hence where you are now. She was trying to be nice. Like I said, women are indirect, you have to learn how to read the tea leaves, if you know what i mean.
BG1985 Posted November 3, 2009 Posted November 3, 2009 JJ1983, this is how you know a girl is interested. She: -Leaves stupid little comments on your Facebook wall. -Sends stupid text messages like crazy when she gets drunk -If the two of your have mutual friends, she will start hanging out with the mutual friends more so that she can get more face time with you -Her friends will start harassing you, asking what you think about her, etc.
bean1 Posted November 3, 2009 Posted November 3, 2009 torranceshipman, very true. however, dont you think by telling me shes not interested in anything serious at this point thats doing me more of a disservice?! If she was interested in anything, let alone seriously, this thread wouldn't even exist. I'm sure you feel hurt, but you don't seem to want to accept what this girl is clearly saying.
BCCA Posted November 3, 2009 Posted November 3, 2009 JJ1983, this is how you know a girl is interested. She: -Leaves stupid little comments on your Facebook wall. -Sends stupid text messages like crazy when she gets drunk -If the two of your have mutual friends, she will start hanging out with the mutual friends more so that she can get more face time with you -Her friends will start harassing you, asking what you think about her, etc. It doesnt even have to be that. When a girl is interested, asking her out, and continuing on the relationship will be easy. She will make herself available for you to ask out. When she isnt interested, shes busy with blah blah blah, not looking for anything serious, just got out of a relationship, or any number of 'brush offs'. The problem is, most guys dont take the hint until theyve wasted a ton of time and effort on something that was never going to go anywhere.
drivesmecrazy3 Posted November 3, 2009 Posted November 3, 2009 I know that what i had with her is long gone. But we had started off as regular friends, and now she thinks we are friends like that again. I mean, it would be really akward if I just simply just never responded to her ever again. Or better yet, told her that I cant talk about her because i care. I;ve been throwing talk about other girls in her face for months now, and she gets jealous but doesnt do anything about it. And dont think that if i didnt throw girls in her face shed be interested, because I had never done that, and when i didnt she was SUPER turned off because she didnt think i would move on. She always told me she loved to chase guys, and now I see the guys that she chases and compared to me they are losers.
BG1985 Posted November 4, 2009 Posted November 4, 2009 I guess girls who like to chase are hard to please. It's not even that they want what they can't have, they want something that really isn't even there. With my ex, it got a little old the way she pursued me. I imagined myself as being able to play the field, but she was really my main option at the time. In reality, I was a little disrespectful to her at time, but she just kept coming back. Basically I did everything except to tell her to f*ck off. Oddly enough, I started gaining feelings for her out of nowhere. It really put me in a mind-f*ck that I haven't fully recovered from once she broke things off with me.
Recommended Posts