FreezorBurn Posted November 2, 2009 Posted November 2, 2009 Sorry, I know this question raises a lot of anger in people. I am tiring to possess my feelings and I hit a wall every time I remember: I was taking care of our kids and doing the dishes so my wife could “Work Late”. I found out later she was out at a local bar with her EA, Who was a married man. This happend more then once. My anger still boils 6 months after dday!
mark982 Posted November 2, 2009 Posted November 2, 2009 i was working 2 jobs so she could be a sahm, that will never happen again.
misternoname Posted November 2, 2009 Posted November 2, 2009 Stayed home worrying while she went out on her numerous "girls nights out." She even had the balls to run off to a hotel with her F buddy while I held a birthday party for our son...real Mother of the Year candidate, huh? Thank goodness she's GONE FOR GOOD!
eeyore1981 Posted November 2, 2009 Posted November 2, 2009 Sorry, I know this question raises a lot of anger in people. I am tiring to possess my feelings and I hit a wall every time I remember: I was taking care of our kids and doing the dishes so my wife could “Work Late”. I found out later she was out at a local bar with her EA, Who was a married man. This happend more then once. My anger still boils 6 months after dday! I understand your anger. I was miserable working a job I hated, ironically, the business I helped him build because I was supportive and loved him, all so he could go to where his tramp worked and write big checks so she could be impressed by how much money he had. My brother had a heart attack, so on two separate occasions I was out of state sitting by his side in a hospital for a total of a little over a month. Then for 2 weeks I was out of the country, and we ran up a massive phone bill with each other, saying how much we loved and missed each other and how we wanted to make our marriage better. He could go straight from me to her and vice versa without missing a beat.
Dexter Morgan Posted November 2, 2009 Posted November 2, 2009 ....watching our kids so she could have fun with her friends. thought it was all part of being a good husband. ya right.
schewter Posted November 2, 2009 Posted November 2, 2009 Working...drinking...smoking pot...ignoring her.
ladydesigner Posted November 2, 2009 Posted November 2, 2009 Working...drinking...smoking pot...ignoring her. Wow no wonder she cheated:rolleyes:
schewter Posted November 2, 2009 Posted November 2, 2009 What I been trying to tell people...was lucky to have a woman to betray me.
Spark1111 Posted November 3, 2009 Posted November 3, 2009 Great question! I was working three jobs for a while before I got hired into one permanent position, so we could have health benefits! Got one child off to college while two came home after graduation. He had been in and out of work because of a bad back which turned him into a legal drug addict on pain meds. The operation was successful and he kicked the pain pills cold turkey. But in those six months he was a raving lunatic and I lost most of our support group who could not handle his "cold turky" mood swings. He remembered none of it, but I lost all of my support system because of it. Friends starting disappearing because he was such a loose cannon. I was sooooo alone, but grew optimistic that the worst was behind us when he landed a big-job. He was drug-free, pain free, and we were both employed and starting to pay down the debt we had accrued during his years of unemployment. I thought we had turned a corner, and it was all good again. Three months later he crashed into her, a divorced co-worker, and she thought he was wonderful. He re-invented himself in her eyes, and they embarked on an 18 month long affair. He spent money to impress her as a big player, money I did not even know we had. Hell, I thought he was traveling for work, late night business meetings, all of it! I supported him completely! The title of this chapter in my life is, "My wife so loved and supported me to climb above my depression, she made it a piece of cake to have an affair with a lonely single mother!" Cue the violins! Fade to black.
Untouchable_Fire Posted November 3, 2009 Posted November 3, 2009 I was taking care of our kids and doing the dishes so my wife could “Work Late”. I found out later she was out at a local bar with her EA, Who was a married man. This happend more then once. My anger still boils 6 months after dday! You get angry so you come post here? Here is my question. Would she do that to a man she respects? If she had any respect for you... would she leave you at home to do chores while she played with another guy?
bentnotbroken Posted November 3, 2009 Posted November 3, 2009 I was busy planning my suicide, while working, taking care of kids and extended family, including watching my father die. That was the last time. I now know that the first time, I was pregnant with our youngest.
skylarblue Posted November 3, 2009 Posted November 3, 2009 Depends on whose view it’s coming from. If you ask my MM’s W she’d say “…taking care of the kids…cooking and cleaning…up all night with [the newborn]…taking care of him…” (what he says she said during one of her accusation outbursts). He’s complained she’s at home “…being a nag…talking to the kids any kind of way…looking like a big, ole…” I think they’re both right.
hopesndreams Posted November 3, 2009 Posted November 3, 2009 Changing diapers, doing laundry, making dinner, watching the clock, sat in the dark listening for his car pulling up, waiting for him to come from work, he was always late coz of heavy traffic. Sat home with kids while he went out to the pub with his "friends". Climbing into an empty bed at nite coz he lost track of time at the pub. Laying awake staring into the darkness, listening for his key to turn in the lock. When we were home together, he'd be at his computer day and nite, chatting with her, no doubt. Fun times! A whole year of my life wasted.
mybrowneyedgirl Posted November 3, 2009 Posted November 3, 2009 Maybe this is inappropriate but its a story from a friend of mine. Years ago she had an A with a much older married man. She told of how they had sex in his car and how she felt when she looked up to see two car seats in the seats behind her. Then she realized the W was busy at vacation bible school with the older kids. We joke about it now. It was years ago before we had children of our own and didnt really understand the situation. But whenever something like this comes up we talk about how its bad enough to have an A, but to do it when the wife is at bible school....youre definitely going to h*** for that. Again. its in poor taste to joke of such things, but its what i thought of when i read this post....
seibert253 Posted November 3, 2009 Posted November 3, 2009 Working, either regular hours or overtime, or staying home with our boy so she could have some "me" time. Of course her me time quickly turned into time with OM. When one of my fellow brothers in blue found them in the back seat of his car, well you know the rest of the story. Went downhill quickly. Busted.
skylarblue Posted November 3, 2009 Posted November 3, 2009 Originally Posted by seibert253 …one of my fellow brothers in blue… I’m such a groupie. HOT!! HOT!! HOT!!
turnstone Posted November 3, 2009 Posted November 3, 2009 Well lets see, having been given (whether I wanted them or not) every tiny detail of his numerous affairs and one night stands, I now know I was in Sierra Leone, Zimbabwe and New Orleans at the times he took a couple of them on holiday to the Seychelles, Courchevel and Antigua respectively. At other times I was variously seeing friends or family, or right at home waiting to soothe his fevered brow after his intense, stressful 'executive meetings'. Where's the vomit smilie?
so_tired Posted November 3, 2009 Posted November 3, 2009 Working. Working overtime. Starting a side-business. Trying to pay off the bills that kept mounting while he was going to school and doing his hobbies. I didn't know that one of those hobbies was another woman.
HeidiB125 Posted November 3, 2009 Posted November 3, 2009 Taking care of our kids, home, finances, agonizing over his unhappiness and making vain attempts to work on our marriage only to be shot down and then withdraw, to rise up again and give it yet another try...only to realize now how pathetic all of that was when he had this other woman who loved him so much and who he could turn to.
JumpinJimmy Posted November 3, 2009 Posted November 3, 2009 FB, good thread. You can tell everyone is holding on to little of the grit here....good to vent.
Blindsidedagainalive Posted November 3, 2009 Posted November 3, 2009 My weekly AA meeting....basically the only time we were apart. For that 1.5 hours I was gone, she went to have sex in the public park .... every week for 3 months. I would get home before her and do the dishes as she walked in every week. Needless to say, I can't go to my meetings anymore...the triggers are awful.
Dexter Morgan Posted November 3, 2009 Posted November 3, 2009 My weekly AA meeting....basically the only time we were apart. For that 1.5 hours I was gone, she went to have sex in the public park .... every week for 3 months. I would get home before her and do the dishes as she walked in every week. Needless to say, I can't go to my meetings anymore...the triggers are awful. why don't you just get rid of her? I guarantee you, the triggers will go away, and once you start dating good women, what she did won't matter in the slightest to you.
seibert253 Posted November 4, 2009 Posted November 4, 2009 Working. Working overtime. Starting a side-business. Trying to pay off the bills that kept mounting while he was going to school and doing his hobbies. I didn't know that one of those hobbies was another woman. Man So tired, your story sounds just a buddy of mines. He was busting his ass, working two jobs, OT, taking care of the 5 and 2 year old while his STBXW was going to school. Her hobby turned out to be a fellow classmate. Once she got her Physician's Assistant degree and cert. Out the door she went. She played him for a fool for 2 years. He "knew", but was deep in denial. Cost him his marriage and to top it all, she got primary custody of the kids. Now his kids' primary residence is with his STBXW and the OW. WTF. Our court system is SOOO fantastic. Sorry I went off topic a little
Jaspe_Loco Posted November 4, 2009 Posted November 4, 2009 While she was screwing two of the guys, I was trying to run our business while she refused to help. On one specific occasion, I was in bed with pneumonia (probably from the stress of working 100 hour weeks) she was upstairs at a couple-friends house screwing one of them. I don't remember the specifics if the other two other than I was not getting any.
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