almostpassedit Posted November 2, 2009 Posted November 2, 2009 Hello, I would like some advice about my situtation. A relationship I had ended about 20 months ago with my first love. In the end, I was told the following: "I felt uncomfortable in your apartment" "I knew what I was doing was wrong but I decieded to let the cards fly where they may" "I know I did nothing wrong but deep down I feel guilty inside" As well as "We have no future together" "You seem to think the world revolves around you" "Baby, your going to make me cheat on my boyfriend" Bascially the relationship ended with me finding out she was cheating on me. Words were said back and fourth and I realized my ex was not sorry, she wanted to leave. I have been on strict NC, going on two years but lately, I've been wondering. At the same time I got out of the hole I was in for so long and I'm living life again. I find myself at peace with everything that happen and it no longer burns or bring pain. I find myself checking her MS and Facebook page often. I went as far as adding her brother to my facebook so that I can see pictures of her. I have not heard from this person in a very long time and deep within me somewhere I must still have feelings if I am here writing about my situtation. I know what people are going to say, they are going to tell me to maintain the NC and good riddens and keep moving forward which is what I am doing. Apart of me still checks for her, Its been so long now that I just want to know she's OK. I think I want to hear her voice. I don't know why, she must of forgot about me by now, I guess the real reason is that I was close with her and I know she's alive but I just can't contact her. Am I suppose to just forget this person and not contact her again ever in life? That is what everyone tells me to do and thats what I'm doing.... Still I remember and despite everything that I lost, it really doesn't bother me. I just want us to be friends again. I think I miss the old times. Is there something wrong with me? Why do I feel the need to reconnect?
Ms. Joolie Posted November 2, 2009 Posted November 2, 2009 (edited) So you have a desire to reconnect with your ex? I am learning more about desires... so bear with me .... behind every desire there is a need or a want of something. Questions for consideration: What are you really wanting or needing from this reconnection? To hear her voice? To remember the good things about the relationship? What is it about this relationship that you are wanting now in your life? Are you in a relationship right now? Maybe your are unhappy in it and seem to be remembering something good about the past relationship. Maybe you are not in a relationship right now and simply remember the good about that past relationship. You are trying to reconnect with this person, but what exactly are you trying to reconnect with? Maybe it's her. Do you miss her? Why would you miss someone who cheated on you then, someone who did not give you the love you deserved? Edited November 2, 2009 by Ms. Joolie
BentSpine Posted November 3, 2009 Posted November 3, 2009 Is there something wrong with me? Why do I feel the need to reconnect?There's nothing wrong with you; The two-year break up anniversary can bring back memories. But take heart: it's likely your last hurdle.
Author almostpassedit Posted November 3, 2009 Author Posted November 3, 2009 There's nothing wrong with you; The two-year break up anniversary can bring back memories. But take heart: it's likely your last hurdle. Thanks for confirming this. I to believe this is the final hurdle.
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