She's over there, I'm over here and she doesnt want to commit

[Oski]

So, this is a long story. Last year I was studying abroad in Japan when I met this girl. Originally, I was meeting up with a friend to go to a museum, and he invited a mutual friend who invited this girl. Something about her was special and charming. It wasn't love at first sight, but I don't remember looking at anything in the museum than her. I moved back to the states but I was still interested in her so we began talking over the phone and on skype. She moved to Amherst to study abroad for a year. During that time we called each other every day, left text messages, and would always make time out of the day to talk on skype. There was definitely a lot of flirting. When January came, she came to visit it me. Things happened and we kissed. And then some. Every day for a week. Those were some of the happiest moments in my life. I asked her one night if she wanted to be more than friends. She cried and told me the distance thing made it hard for her. When I dropped her off at the airport, we kissed. I thought it was just goodbye for now, not goodbye.

 

A year has passed and we still talk. Our bond became even stronger and we would call each other with even more frequency.Unfortunately, I haven't been able to see her in person for almost a year, but I was planning a month long trip to visit her. But about a week ago, we got into an argument because I told her I loved her. I couldn't help myself. I really felt that. She got upset, started crying and told me that she loves me but she doesn't want to be held down or be pressured into doing things for me. I tried explaining that by becoming her boyfriend I wasn't trying to hold her back. If anything I wanted to support her traveling (its one of her features that got me attracted to her. Her independence). She said I seemed less attractive because of all the things I was doing or trying to do for her.

 

I fled to LA and didnt speak to her for a week. During the time, I ran multiple scenarios in my head. But Im back home and I dont know what to do. I want her so bad. I still dream about the time we had together and I want to make her happy. But she said she doesn't want a boyfriend. I don't know if I should just stop talking to her, or stay by her side. I don't know what to do. Any suggestions?

 

I posted this in the friends section as well.