DukeofBama Posted November 2, 2009 Posted November 2, 2009 Hello all, I want to start by saying I've been a Lurker on this site for around three years now and love the advice that the great posters of LoveShack gives. (even if it's something you don't want to hear.) I found this site while trying to cope with a 2+ year relationship that ended with her cheating. I found alot of threads who situations were almost a mirror to mine took the advice you gave them and never looked back. Spent the next 3 years staying single and just dating and not looking for a relationship to find out what I wanted out of my life and to regain my confidence till I felt like I was ready to be in a relationship again. But now I'm in need of some advice. So here is my story, Me and this girl had been friends in high school and I ran into her again earlier this year after a couple of years of not seeing each other, you know how life has a way of getting in the way sometimes. We started talking and catching up on how our lives had been going after all the these years. Turned out we was heading in total opposite directions. After my break up with my ex I had got saved and turned from a Agnostic to a Christian and quit my band because they didn't like the direction my music was takeing, understandably, and had stayed single since my last relationship and was happy. She was in a relationship with a guy for 4+ plus years had quit being a youth minister and started partying and such. It turned out I knew her BF very well, use to play music with him years ago, and never really thought highly of him. No way I would tell her that though. She wanted my number and I gave it to her with the intentions of just being friends. The next couple of months she would text me everyday and maybe I should have just let it be I have to admit I got excited with every text. I finally told her that we need to stop talking so much because I felt umcomfortable, that I was starting to have feelings for her, in which she said the same, but there was no way I could allow myself to come between her and her BF. I had been done that way myself I couldn't allow myself to do it to someone else. Later that same week I ran into her BF and knew it was right for me to man up and to just talk to him. He told me he knew we have been talking and that he didn't care, he wasn't in love with her and in a nutshell If I wanted her I could have her. I never told her about that. A month goes by she started texting me again everyday, turned out she had ended it right after I had talked with him. So we started talking again and meeting for coffee. We stayed as friends for a couple of months because I didn't want to rush things and didn't want to be a rebound. But after awhile like this she started reaching over and holding my hand and hugging me when we parted ways. Day after day my heart was melting alittle more for her untill one night when we met up she told me she wanted to be with me, I have to admit I was estatic but didn't want to drop my defenses and told her not right now. She pursued me hard after that and finally I let my defense drop. We have been together now for 7 months, I'm 29 she is 27, I've been the happiest I can ever remember, even though I ran into a run of bad luck during this time. ( got laid off from my job, then a house fire, the stress of all that etc..) So now the bad part, 2 months into the relationship she gives me the I don't know who I am anymore and I think I need time speech so I gave it to her. I 'm grown man I know this means we are breaking up so I gave her that and started NC. One week later she came back, and everything was great untill recently. A week ago she ran into her ex and decided to sit and talk with him in her car in front of a local store. I know for a fact that this meeting was orchestrated by 1 of her friends. She did text me telling me about this but not till my brother had seen them together. She said she didn't think was a big deal but to me it hurt badly. I couldn't understand why she would even give him the time of day. But I let it go because I feel thats all they was doing, she has never lied to me. So 2 night ago she gives me the I need time to find myself speech we get into a fight and I say I will give her time again, the next morning she is back at my house looks me dead in the eyes and with that beautiful smile of her's tell's me she is in love with me. Last night we was laying on my couch cuddling and talking I told her I need to know where we are heading as far as our future and she says " I know you don't want to hear this but I'm just not sure". But after this tells me that she is so in love with me over and over the rest of the night. I don't want to lose her, I am deeply in love with this girl, I want to keep this one but the events lately have me scared to death. These actions seems so high schoolish or am I freakin out? Sorry I wrote a book but I'm deeply confused.
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