hopefullove Posted November 2, 2009 Posted November 2, 2009 (edited) I joined LoveShack a few months ago to post in the "second chances" forums, and now i'm in the "coping" forums. My ex and I spent a year apart in different cities, and a few months ago, he contacted me, and we started chatting again online, and I really believed in everything he said, it seemed like he missed me a lot, and I thought he wanted to try again, because well, he said, I should think of a plan for us to be together, (to overcome our distance). We spent 2 weekends together when i visited home for work (plus vacation) in sept, and he was also there for work. so 2 weeks of what I thought was a great time reconnecting, like we never left... and now silence. It was just so weird, when we were together in september, he acted like he cared, he asked me how my family was, and really wanted my dad to know we were seeing each other again, and kept asking me what my dad said. Anyway, I just broke 11 days of NC (i wished him happy birthday offline, but the last email i sent to him was on the 11th, to say that i dont think i know him anymore, and i still hadnt heard anything from him, he hasnt contacted me in over 3 weeks), mainly to tell him what i think he is doing is mean, and that i deserve some honesty, and that i cant emotionally or physically go through this again, because we had gone through this last summer, and then all of a sudden he texts me "goodbye"... like wtf, is wrong with me, and this time i believed him again... It's so sad, like i can sit down and think about everything that is wrong and will never change in our relationship, he is unreliable, he is very self centered, and ive caught him in a random lie (he told me he was in spain, when my old roommate saw him on the street... it made NO SENSE to lie), Even though I realize so much that is wrong with my ex, the selfishness, part of me only remembers who he was in the begining of the relationship, romantic, and caring, and eager to make me happy, it is still so hard for me to forget that, But I do feel good, about breaking NC, I debated it with myself for a while, I've read so much about it here, about regaining my dignity, and moving on, right NOW i dont feel like i'm back at square one, i feel it needed to be said, for me at least, and that it was the right thing to do. I mean he ignores me, and i ignore that he ignore me, its so passive agressive... I don't think i will hear from him at all, and i think the best thing for me to do is to not expect anything... I'm ok about it for now... we'll see how i feel tomorrow.... Edited November 2, 2009 by hopefullove
CaliGuy Posted November 2, 2009 Posted November 2, 2009 So do most druggies when they've been off the drug for a while and take a hit. Makes you feel good in the short term but over the long haul, it will definitely tear you back down. Think of NC as a recovering drug and/or alcohol addict and you'll better understand why sticking to NC is best.
Author hopefullove Posted November 2, 2009 Author Posted November 2, 2009 Hi Cali Guy, So as a druggie, i guess i'm still in denial... cause i think i'm doing the right thing! I keep telling myself, that once i get it out of my system, then, i can move on. I dont think i could possibly feel worse than I do now, I mean to have my hopes brought up so high and then to just be ignored... I just wanted to address it, so then I can move on... I didn't want to just not address it, like nothing ever happened, and then when/if he contacts me again, pretend like nothing happened, cause that is kind of how our relationship was, never addressing anything... and i was trying to be respectful of our relationship to say something... I dont know, this is how i am spinning it to myself for now.... I will never contact him again.... after this....
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