Is it wrong to like Asian women? When does it cross the line?

[BookerT]

I'm talking about culture as well. Look it up. Within group differences in personality are much greater than between group differences.

 

Where's this research?

 

So you're saying I could go to Saudia Arabia, or Japan, and the people there would have more variance in personality and act more differently than someone in the US?

 

If you measured extremes then yes. An Al Qaeda terrorist and a mild mannered Saudi will differ a lot.

[shadowplay]

I've lived in Japan and China, and studied their cultures. It was part of my Master's programme, and yes they are.

 

When was the last time you managed to get a red neck to BOW?

 

In Asian cultures, men are equally as dominant over women as in white cultures, if not more so. If there was an important difference to women in terms of cultural feminization it would probably be in terms of how passive the men are. It's true that many women are turned off by passive men. But Asian men are hardly passive.

[BookerT]

In Asian cultures, men are equally as dominant over women as in white cultures, if not more so. If there was an important difference to women in terms of cultural feminization it would probably be in terms of how passive the men are. It's true that many women are turned off by passive men. But Asian men are hardly passive.

 

That just shows you don't know what you are talking about.

 

Asian men are EXTREMELY PASSIVE in Asia, less so in the US.

 

MOST Asians do not meet their partners by hitting on them or via the internet which is the US trend. Most Asian men would never approach a woman that way. Most Asians meet their partners through mutual friends at social gatherings with the friends there. Small parties, Karaoke, introductions, blind dating etc.

 

Asian men are only dominat over Asian women because Asian women in Asia are taught to be extremely submissive. There was never a feminist movement in Asia. So whilst Asian women have a lot more power economically and in the work place, simply because the Asian economies need women to work to compete with the west, in personal relationships things are still very backward.

 

To show exactly how passive Asian men are. I have an Taiwanese friend that studied in NYU and he couldn't get a girlfriend, then he goes back to Taiwan and meets loads of women. The RELATIVE personality differences means Asian men find it very hard to hit on Caucasian women.

[shadowplay]

Where's this research?

 

So you're saying I could go to Saudia Arabia, or Japan, and the people there would have more variance in personality and act more differently than someone in the US?

 

If you measured extremes then yes. An Al Qaeda terrorist and a mild mannered Saudi will differ a lot.

 

I don't think I understand your first sentence.

 

Here's what I meant in a very simplified form.

 

A) You go to Saudi Arabia, take a sampling of 150 people. Then go to America and take a sampling of 150 people. Measure some personality trait and find the average differences between each group.

 

B) Then you take the sample from Saudi Arabia. Randomly pull out two people from your sample and calculate the difference in that personality trait. Then keep pulling out more pairs from the Saudi sample and keep calculating the differences. Find the average of those differences. That average difference will be far greater than the average difference you got in step A. You'll find the same result if you compare individuals within the American group.

[MissJoness]

Really? You think so? Considering that science tells us that most african americans have some caucasian DNA? No native born african american is purely african. As a black woman you should know that better than most.

 

http://www.theroot.com/views/michelle-s-great-great-great-granddaddy-and-yours?page=4

 

There are some pure AAs, and they are down south, I forgot their name but they are called Gullas or something. They did not mix with Europeans.

 

I just found it incredibly ridiculous how you said that its creepy for white men to chase after black women because we have white ancestry from slavery..what the heck does that have to do with anything??

[shadowplay]

That just shows you don't know what you are talking about.

 

Asian men are EXTREMELY PASSIVE in Asia, less so in the US.

 

MOST Asians do not meet their partners by hitting on them or via the internet which is the US trend. Most Asian men would never approach a woman that way. Most Asians meet their partners through mutual friends at social gatherings with the friends there. Small parties, Karaoke, introductions, blind dating etc.

 

Asian men are only dominat over Asian women because Asian women in Asia are taught to be extremely submissive. There was never a feminist movement in Asia. So whilst Asian women have a lot more power economically and in the work place, simply because the Asian economies need women to work to compete with the west, in personal relationships things are still very backward.

 

To show exactly how passive Asian men are. I have an Taiwanese friend that studied in NYU and he couldn't get a girlfriend, then he goes back to Taiwan and meets loads of women. The RELATIVE personality differences means Asian men find it very hard to hit on Caucasian women.

 

Sexism and domestic violence are rampant in many parts of Asia.

[BookerT]

I don't think I understand your first sentence.

 

Here's what I meant in a very simplified form.

 

A) You go to Saudi Arabia, take a sampling of 150 people. Then go to America and take a sampling of 150 people. Measure some personality trait and find the average differences between each group.

 

B) Then you take the sample from Saudi Arabia. Randomly pull out two people from your sample and calculate the difference in that personality trait. Then keep pulling out more pairs from the Saudi sample and keep calculating the differences. Find the average of those differences. That average difference will be far greater than the average difference you got in step A. You'll find the same result if you compare individuals within the American group.

 

I know what you're talking about, and when it's cultures as different as Middle Eastern and Asian, I don't believe your theory to be true. If there is a study done on this I would believe it if it's European vs American. Again is this a proper study you're quoting, or you "understanding" of psychology?

[BookerT]

Sexism and domestic violence are rampant in many parts of Asia.

 

So? What's that got to do with passive?

 

An Asian man hits his wife in private, doesn't mean he can go into a club and chat up a white woman. We were talking about how Asian men find it harder to attract white women, vs the other way around. White guys going after Asian girls.

[shadowplay]

I know what you're talking about, and when it's cultures as different as Middle Eastern and Asian, I don't believe your theory to be true. If there is a study done on this I would believe it if it's European vs American. Again is this a proper study you're quoting, or you "understanding" of psychology?

 

I'm not thinking of a specific study, but I know they're out there. This is based on taking three years of psychology/statistics courses, including two on personality psychology. If you want some specific studies, I can do some research online later today and post links to those sources.

[BookerT]

I'm not thinking of a specific study, but I know they're out there. This is based on taking three years of psychology/statistics courses, including two on personality psychology. If you want some specific studies, I can do some research online later today and post links to those sources.

 

Sure, but the studies I've read is all based on genetics.

 

Btw, curious, have you ever travelled to Asia or lived there for more than a month? If you have I don't think we would even need to have this debate. You would know how TOTALLY different people think. It's like a different species almost.

[Devil Inside]

To answer your OP....I think that there is a difference between having a preference and having a fetish.

 

I think that if the only reason you go after someone is because of one factor...that sounds a little unbalanced and if I were the person I would feel marginalized and objectified.

 

As for a preference...well we all have those. I like women with curves. I find Asian women very attractive as well. I prefer brunettes. However, these are just preferences...and I look at the total package.

[BookerT]

Btw, curious, have you ever travelled to Asia or lived there for more than a month? If you have I don't think we would even need to have this debate. You would know how TOTALLY different people think. It's like a different species almost.

 

Anyway, I got to go, and the reason I bring this up is because a LOT of Americans have views about other countries and cultures, but they haven't even left the country. It's the reason our dealings with the outside world is a friggin mess.

 

My friend told me Sarah Palin recently toured Asia, and made a fool out of herself (what's new), because she was trying to link local culture to Alaska.....

 

Serious, people need to get out of the country and live in other countries first hand and experience the HUGE differences. That's part of the reason Obama is doing so well on the Foreign policies front.

 

Wanna have a real debate about Asian men? Go visit Japan, lol.

[Jersey Shortie]

I don't think it's bad that you like Asian girls. I personally like Jewish men for some reason. I think it's when you base you liking anyone on any one feature and objectify them for it where it's not cool. If you are attracted to Asian girls and end up dating one and liking her for other quaitlies and treating her with respect, nothing wrong with that.

 

But if you have a high stock of Asian girl porn and then start dating one...well, that's kind of objectifying them so you got to ask yourself what kind of man you want to be.

[Untouchable_Fire]

There are some pure AAs, and they are down south, I forgot their name but they are called Gullas or something. They did not mix with Europeans.

I just found it incredibly ridiculous how you said that its creepy for w hite men to chase after black women because we have white ancestry from slavery..what the heck does that have to do with anything??

 

I can't remember what everyone is debating, but MissJones is HOT!

[eiithan]

That just shows you don't know what you are talking about.

 

Asian men are EXTREMELY PASSIVE in Asia, less so in the US.

 

MOST Asians do not meet their partners by hitting on them or via the internet which is the US trend. Most Asian men would never approach a woman that way. Most Asians meet their partners through mutual friends at social gatherings with the friends there. Small parties, Karaoke, introductions, blind dating etc.

 

Asian men are only dominat over Asian women because Asian women in Asia are taught to be extremely submissive. There was never a feminist movement in Asia. So whilst Asian women have a lot more power economically and in the work place, simply because the Asian economies need women to work to compete with the west, in personal relationships things are still very backward.

 

To show exactly how passive Asian men are. I have an Taiwanese friend that studied in NYU and he couldn't get a girlfriend, then he goes back to Taiwan and meets loads of women. The RELATIVE personality differences means Asian men find it very hard to hit on Caucasian women.

 

Relatively speaking, when I first came to the US, I found men annoyingly aggressive. Being spoken by dirty old men frequently is no fun for sure. Having guys asking my phone number on the street? I found it annoyingly inconvenient and partially unsafe. What is considered to be a norm in the dating culture is significantly different in Asia. I have lived in the US for many years now, more or less accustomed to men approaching women (in fact, I am a pursuer type so there you have it), but I won't rule it out as Asian men are extremely passive or something like that. Perhaps by the American standard.

 

There are feminists in Asia. The feminist movement has a long way to go to achieve what Western feminists have achieved. You shouldn't overlook the historical context (the combination of Confucian male chauvinist culture and political dictatorship in a few countries makes things very very difficult, I tell you. It is not like Asian feminists could go all militant like Brit women did. That would have been nice in a way, though). I am not happy about the gender inequality in Asia either, but the cultivation of public awareness over civil rights issues takes a long process, and there is a huge inbalance in relation to the rapid economic development in Asia. Also mind that USA is perhaps the sole country where such matters are highly politicalised (which is good thing, in my view, and something I'd be envious about American society).

[Vertex]

Relatively speaking, when I first came to the US, I found men annoyingly aggressive. Being spoken by dirty old men frequently is no fun for sure. Having guys asking my phone number on the street? I found it annoyingly inconvenient and partially unsafe. What is considered to be a norm in the dating culture is significantly different in Asia. I have lived in the US for many years now, more or less accustomed to men approaching women (in fact, I am a pursuer type so there you have it), but I won't rule it out as Asian men are extremely passive or something like that. Perhaps by the American standard.

 

There are feminists in Asia. The feminist movement has a long way to go to achieve what Western feminists have achieved. You shouldn't overlook the historical context (the combination of Confucian male chauvinist culture and political dictatorship in a few countries makes things very very difficult, I tell you. It is not like Asian feminists could go all militant like Brit women did. That would have been nice in a way, though). I am not happy about the gender inequality in Asia either, but the cultivation of public awareness over civil rights issues takes a long process, and there is a huge inbalance in relation to the rapid economic development in Asia. Also mind that USA is perhaps the sole country where such matters are highly politicalised (which is good thing, in my view, and something I'd be envious about American society).

 

I agree with this 100%.

[Untouchable_Fire]

There are feminists in Asia. The feminist movement has a long way to go to achieve what Western feminists have achieved. You shouldn't overlook the historical context (the combination of Confucian male chauvinist culture and political dictatorship in a few countries makes things very very difficult, I tell you. It is not like Asian feminists could go all militant like Brit women did. That would have been nice in a way, though). I am not happy about the gender inequality in Asia either, but the cultivation of public awareness over civil rights issues takes a long process, and there is a huge inbalance in relation to the rapid economic development in Asia. Also mind that USA is perhaps the sole country where such matters are highly politicalised (which is good thing, in my view, and something I'd be envious about American society).

 

The western feminist movement would have not gotten anywhere if it were not for world war 1 and 2. It's no accident the women got the vote right after ww1.

 

Personally, I think we guys should get together and repeal that one. Women have proven to be very uneducated voters. When are we going to get tired of electing the best looking guy instead of the most qualified?

[Jersey Shortie]

Personally, I think we guys should get together and repeal that one. Women have proven to be very uneducated voters. When are we going to get tired of electing the best looking guy instead of the most qualified?

 

Yeah, because men have been doing such a great job running everything. That's why we were in two world wars in the first place. Great arguement! This world is a better place for the fact that women can vote. You know it. I know it. Everyone knows it. Don't blame women because you feel like less of a man for it.

[Untouchable_Fire]

Yeah, because men have been doing such a great job running everything. That's why we were in two world wars in the first place. Great arguement! This world is a better place for the fact that women can vote. You know it. I know it. Everyone knows it. Don't blame women because you feel like less of a man for it.

 

Hey... even today Germany would go ballistic if you took away all their beer and sausage! We both know that was the real cause for ww1 and ww2. Women voting wouldn't change that.

 

LOL... I don't think anything you could do or say would make me feel less of a man. I get too much validation from other females... besides... I know you would not like me anyway. I'm not short, and I'm not jewish.

[Skump]

On the IVY league question, why not double your kid's chances, right?

 

Of course, the irony is, if he really wanted to boost his chances at the Ivies, certius paribus, he could hardly do worse than to marry an asian woman - unless his kid planned to claim "white" as his race, at least.

 

Asian kids actually suffer reverse discrimination in college admissions (well documented). They're only admitted in disproportionate numbers because asian immigrants tend to work really hard, not because schools like them. :/

 

On a cold calculus of self-interest, he'd be far better off finding another Condie Rice. Smart + half black = Auto-admit at Harvard Law.

[Vertex]

Very true, Skump And believe me, I've researched the hell out of college admissions. However, being black isn't always an auto-admit, but your chances sure do go up.

 

Regardless, that is not enough to sway me from my preferences, haha. I personally don't care where my kids go to school as long as they are happy and doing well.

 

 

...assuming I'm even able to get a woman to have kids with in the first place, haha!

[paperchase]

It really is a sad, vicious circle in a way. While I have seen Asian girls only dating Asian guys, I also have seen Asian guys who are so hung up on why Asian women only date white guys, which did not boost up their attractiveness.

 

On the other side, I would like to know why smart black guys never ask me out! I mean, well, comparing to the magnificent physique of black women, I am obviously too short to be noticed, I guess?

 

Smart black guys might sense you prefer the 1% of white guys you mentioned earlier. I know there is a thought that black me like their women to be more curvy, but that is not always the case. A pretty woman is a pretty woman and I'm sure there are black men who have found you attractive but remained silent for fear of rejection.

 

One of my best friends who is black is married to an Asian woman. When we first met in law school he was dating an Asian woman, although not the one he married. I guess he had a fetish, but over the years he had girlfriends of all races so maybe it was more of a preference. I do know it was important for him to be the provider and to have a woman to take care of him in the traditional sense so he was not attracted to strong female types. We had a discussion about joint household incomes and gender roles a while back, but he never related this to dating Asian women. It was more of a what you would want in a wife type of talk.

 

We kind of favor each other so I always wanted to ask him what drew Asian women to him and vice versa but I didn't want to make it an issue or have it come out the wrong way.

[eiithan]

Smart black guys might sense you prefer the 1% of white guys you mentioned earlier. I know there is a thought that black me like their women to be more curvy, but that is not always the case. A pretty woman is a pretty woman and I'm sure there are black men who have found you attractive but remained silent for fear of rejection.

 

Mmm that is unfortunate! I'll see to it! I confess that I haven't been exposed to many black guys though. My alma mater is heavily populated with Asians and my department had like one or two black students who were gays. After college I met a really cute black guy who works for one of the congresspersons, but then he had a white girlfriend.

[crosswordfiend]

The types of Asians that you meet in the IVY culture tend to come from families where the parents immigrated based on professional categories rather than as unskilled labour. These are families where education is prioritized with the ultimate goal of the child gaining admission to a top school. For lack of a better word, these kids are "strivers" - solidly middle-class but hard-working. From my personal experience Asians at ivy league schools are much more likely to be "strivers" than the white kids who descended from more-priviledged ranks.

 

Is it possible that you are attracted to these "cultural" characteristics, and that somewhere along the way they became confounded with Asian?

[paperchase]

Mmm that is unfortunate! I'll see to it! I confess that I haven't been exposed to many black guys though. My alma mater is heavily populated with Asians and my department had like one or two black students who were gays. After college I met a really cute black guy who works for one of the congresspersons, but then he had a white girlfriend.

 

Sounds like a plan. Don't limit your choices to colleagues or classmates though. Just curious, are you on the East or West Coast? I ask because you mentioned classmates being mostly Asian which sounds like somewhere out West but then the "cute" black guy working in politics suggested otherwise. Anyway, your reference to cute makes me want to start a new thread asking what that really means because I've had the label my whole life and felt it was a blessing and a curse. lol!