Is it wrong to like Asian women? When does it cross the line?

[shadowplay]

Vertex -- out of curiosity what races have you dated in the past? Were most of your serious gfs Asian or not?

[Vertex]

Vertex -- out of curiosity what races have you dated in the past? Were most of your serious gfs Asian or not?

 

I've dated two white girls, two Asian girls, and one half-Italian/half-Mexican girl. Although, to be fair, the relationships I had with the two Asian girls were the ones that became the most serious, but that had little to do with race.

[Untouchable_Fire]

I never said that all other racial preferences didn't fall into the fetishizing trap, just some seem to more than others in our culture.

 

Then lay off it. This guy doesn't seem to have a stereotype issue.

 

Fact is that in my area, asian girls are willing to date the smart guys while black/white/latino girls won't.

 

That is what drives this more than anything.

 

 

Considering history I would think the white guy chasing black women is even creepier considering there are no pure blooded african americans, they all carry white genes from slavery rape.

 

That is true... and if I ever saw that happen... I would find it SUPER creepy, but I've never seen it in real life. So for the moment, I'm going to just consider that particular fetish a myth.

[shadowplay]

Then lay off it. This guy doesn't seem to have a stereotype issue.

 

Fact is that in my area, asian girls are willing to date the smart guys while black/white/latino girls won't.

 

That is what drives this more than anything.

 

 

 

 

That is true... and if I ever saw that happen... I would find it SUPER creepy, but I've never seen it in real life. So for the moment, I'm going to just consider that particular fetish a myth.

 

Lay off your generalizations.

 

In your area maybe. Most of the women I know prefer smart guys, regardless of race.

[shadowplay]

I've dated two white girls, two Asian girls, and one half-Italian/half-Mexican girl. Although, to be fair, the relationships I had with the two Asian girls were the ones that became the most serious, but that had little to do with race.

 

This is not accusatory, but do you find yourself making generalizations/drawing conclusions based on race when you consider those relationships and what they were like?

[Vertex]

This is not accusatory, but do you find yourself making generalizations/drawing conclusions based on race when you consider those relationships and what they were like?

 

What type of generalizations/conclusions do you mean? Like generations I had going in that turned out not to be true? Or reasons for getting involved?

[shadowplay]

What type of generalizations/conclusions do you mean? Like generations I had going in that turned out not to be true? Or reasons for getting involved?

 

I guess based on how the women acted in the relationship, how into them you were, etc.?

[Vertex]

I guess based on how the women acted in the relationship, how into them you were, etc.?

 

Well, I can sure as hell tell you that they did not fit your stereotype of "submissive Asian females," haha. One of them was the smartest girl I've ever met, and we had a very good relationship that happened to end badly for distance reasons (we went to different schools that were about an hour and a half apart, but the lack of proximity and all the school work/activities were putting a huge damper on things) -- otherwise I was very, very into her. The other Asian girl wasn't very compatible with me in the end, and I was not into her (that relationship obviously did not work out).

[shadowplay]

Vertex, I think you'll be OK as long as you don't allow yourself to stereotype. It's good that you're self-aware.

 

You're in danger if you find yourself subtly ignoring non-Asian women who might be compatible with you or being overly forgiving of incompatibilities because a woman is Asian.

 

Be aware of those non-race specific traits you find attractive (dark-hair, eyes, intelligence, etc.) and seek THOSE out. When you start to frame it in your mind as a racial thing, then you may begin to stereotype in how you select mates.

 

By doing this you close yourself off to potentially fantastic relationships with non-Asian women, and you also may get involved with incompatible Asian women because you're entranced by their Asian-ness and not being selective of other traits.

 

This also isn't fair to the women, because they'll be offended and hurt once they catch on.

 

I'm not saying you're doing this already, but the potential is there.

[Untouchable_Fire]

Lay off your generalizations. In your area maybe. Most of the women I know prefer smart guys, regardless of race.

 

You think that is just a generalization.

 

You need to spend some time in the real world. What women SAY they prefer and what they actually prefer are two entirely different things.

[BookerT]

That Asian-American women are more submissive in relationships for one, which is what you seemed ot be implying...

 

I said:

 

"Generally Asians have more traditional family values because they get influenced a lot by their parents."

 

"Generally Asian women treat their men well. But that's to do with the upbrining of listening to the husband, etc. "

 

and you feel I said submissive?

 

I'm not implying that at all. I said what I said, which is that Asians tend (generally) to have better family values and at least taught by their parents that way. They listen to their husbands, and husbands should listen to their wives.

 

It's us that's got it all wrong. 50% of us are getting divorced or cheating on one another.

 

Yes, I am refering to general trends. I am sure you know some Asians that act just like white girls, but then again maybe you haven't seen them in a relationship?

 

Don't just look at the negative which is what you're doing, and why you thought I implied submissive without me even saying it.

[Vertex]

Vertex, I think you'll be OK as long as you don't allow yourself to stereotype. It's good that you're self-aware.

 

You're in danger if you find yourself subtly ignoring non-Asian women who might be compatible with you or being overly forgiving of incompatibilities because a woman is Asian.

 

Be aware of those non-race specific traits you find attractive (dark-hair, eyes, intelligence, etc.) and seek THOSE out. When you start to frame it in your mind as a racial thing, then you may begin to stereotype in how you select mates.

 

By doing this you close yourself off to potentially fantastic relationships with non-Asian women, and you also may get involved with incompatible Asian women because you're entranced by their Asian-ness and not being selective of other traits.

 

This also isn't fair to the women, because they'll be offended and hurt once they catch on.

 

I'm not saying you're doing this already, but the potential is there.

 

I understand and appreciate the advice -- thanks for the insights!

[eiithan]

I am Asian woman (international), and have a peculiar preference in white guys that do not make up even 1% of the population...(progressive politics, certain level of education in liberal arts, nonprofit-involved, non-religious, certain set of personality, dark hair & eyes, a certain type of facial structure, can watch rugby with me, etc)...despite of the fact that I am hoping to find my ideal man somewhere in the world, I think the chances are slim

 

As for white men who look for stereotypical Asian women, definitely a turnoff.

[Vertex]

I said:

I'm not implying that at all. I said what I said, which is that Asians tend (generally) to have better family values and at least taught by their parents that way. They listen to their husbands, and husbands should listen to their wives.

 

It's us that's got it all wrong. 50% of us are getting divorced or cheating on one another.

 

Yes, I am refering to general trends. I am sure you know some Asians that act just like white girls, but then again maybe you haven't seen them in a relationship?

 

Don't just look at the negative which is what you're doing, and why you thought I implied submissive without me even saying it.

 

The thing is, with a given race, there is a different culture. Different cultures treat various things like education, marriage, work, money, children, communication, etc -- differently. Therefore I do think that culture plays a huge role in the way we act and react to different scenarios with decent correlation. It would be "racist" to deny someone based on a correlation (as, of course, it does not imply causation), but is it necessarily wrong to shoot for a maximal probability or chance at finding the specific traits you want?

 

At what point does a preference become racist and not "derived from trend"?

[paperchase]

This doesn't really go to your question whether your fetish has gone too far but.....

 

I believe that many if not most Asian women in the states have a fetish for white men. One Asian male poster on here mentioned how he struggles to interest Asian women and I know first had other Asian men who have complained about Asian women preferring white men.

 

As a black man I can say I've never received advances from an Asian woman. I'm very good looking, highly educated and pretty well off. I've have some preferences but dated women of all races except never an Asian which I've always found curious. I feel invisible to them. They don't look my way so I've never made an advance.

 

Conversely, there are certain races and ethnicities which for whatever reason find me attractive. It's pretty consistent and over the years I have gravitated to women who gravitate to me.

 

Also, for those who talk about the Asian body type, I think they specifically mean Japanese girls, because Koreans for example often do not fit the mold.

[BookerT]

The thing is, with a given race, there is a different culture. Different cultures treat various things like education, marriage, work, money, children, communication, etc -- differently. Therefore I do think that culture plays a huge role in the way we act and react to different scenarios with decent correlation. It would be "racist" to deny someone based on a correlation (as, of course, it does not imply causation), but is it necessarily wrong to shoot for a maximal probability or chance at finding the specific traits you want?

 

At what point does a preference become racist and not "derived from trend"?

 

Race has nothing to do with it.

 

I'm white and I also find Asian girls more attractive. But that's because I've dated messed up white girls. Whilst the Asian girls I've dated have much better values.

 

Of course that's a very small sample size.

 

But having studied Asian culture I know that it is WE that have it wrong in the West. Sure, Asian women shouldn't submit to their men, but we've swung to the other extreme.

[BookerT]

This doesn't really go to your question whether your fetish has gone too far but.....

 

I believe that many if not most Asian women in the states have a fetish for white men. One Asian male poster on here mentioned how he struggles to interest Asian women and I know first had other Asian men who have complained about Asian women preferring white men.

 

I've studied this btw.

 

The reason is this, and I'm not being racist, it's just the truth.

 

Asian men tend to have more of a problem attracting white women, because Asian culture is more feminine in nature. Plus Asian guys then to be smaller.

 

So if you look around a lot fewer white girls date Asian guys than white guys date Asian girls. The ratio is around 10 to 1.

 

The white culture however is more masculine, and white males tend to be bigger than Asian males.

 

It's just a natural step when you put two very different races together that vary in size. If you put two animal subspecies together you will get the same effect.

 

If you're an Asian guy and say 20% of the Asian girls are dating white guys, then that means 10 Asian guys are after 8 Asian girls. It's a simple product of skewed supply/demand.

[shadowplay]

The thing is, with a given race, there is a different culture. Different cultures treat various things like education, marriage, work, money, children, communication, etc -- differently. Therefore I do think that culture plays a huge role in the way we act and react to different scenarios with decent correlation. It would be "racist" to deny someone based on a correlation (as, of course, it does not imply causation), but is it necessarily wrong to shoot for a maximal probability or chance at finding the specific traits you want?

 

At what point does a preference become racist and not "derived from trend"?

 

From what I know about psychology, within group differences for the most part trump between group differences when it comes to race/culture.

 

It's true that there are some cultural differences and if you took a sampling of Asian women versus non-Asian women you might find some average differences in relationship style. But those differences are slight compared to the variation within groups. (This is especially true if you're looking at Asian American women, where the cultural influence has been much more watered down.)

 

From a statistical standpoint, I think you'd be actually decreasing your chances of finding a perfect mate by seeking out particular races who on average may be slightly closer to your ideal. By doing so, you're limiting your pool and giving less consideration to traits that may be better indicators of compatibility.

 

If you want to limit your selection pool based on compatibility indicators, better to focus on more predictable measures like education level, upbringing, what-have-you...and not limit your pool based on somewhat arbitrary ones.

[BookerT]

From what I know about psychology, within group differences for the most part trump between group differences when it comes to race/culture.

 

That whilst correct is purely to do with the genetic side. It doesn't have anythign to do with culture. You should go google, individual/ group genetic differences.

 

Our psychology is a combination of genetics versus social conditioning. Asian cultures, and European/American cultures are vastly different and thus exert different social conditioning pressures.

[shadowplay]

Asian culture is more feminine in nature. .

 

That's not true at all...

[MissJoness]

Considering history I would think the white guy chasing black women is even creepier considering there are no pure blooded african americans, they all carry white genes from slavery rape.

This is stupid and makes no sense. No race is pure anyway. Although There are some pure blooded AAs, they are down south. And not all white men date African Americans, some of them like African/Caribbean women

[eiithan]

This doesn't really go to your question whether your fetish has gone too far but.....

 

I believe that many if not most Asian women in the states have a fetish for white men. One Asian male poster on here mentioned how he struggles to interest Asian women and I know first had other Asian men who have complained about Asian women preferring white men.

 

 

It really is a sad, vicious circle in a way. While I have seen Asian girls only dating Asian guys, I also have seen Asian guys who are so hung up on why Asian women only date white guys, which did not boost up their attractiveness.

 

On the other side, I would like to know why smart black guys never ask me out! I mean, well, comparing to the magnificent physique of black women, I am obviously too short to be noticed, I guess?

[shadowplay]

That whilst correct is purely to do with the genetic side. It doesn't have anythign to do with culture. You should go google, individual/ group genetic differences.

 

Our psychology is a combination of genetics versus social conditioning. Asian cultures, and European/American cultures are vastly different and thus exert different social conditioning pressures.

 

I'm talking about culture as well. Look it up. Within group differences in personality are much greater than between group differences.

[BookerT]

That's not true at all...

 

I've lived in Japan and China, and studied their cultures. It was part of my Master's programme, and yes they are.

 

When was the last time you managed to get a red neck to BOW?

[Vertex]

I'm talking about culture. Look it up. Within group differences in personality are much greater than between group differences.

 

I'd say this is to be expected simply as a result of statistical variance with respect to the sheer numbers. It wouldn't make much sense for it to be the other way around.