Is it wrong to like Asian women? When does it cross the line?

[Vertex]

I am just curious and feel the need to throw this question out there.

 

Personally, I find myself (a 23-year-old white male) attracted to girls of Asian descent (Chinese, Japanese, Korean, etc). However, this would normally get interpreted as an Asian fetish/"Yellow fever"/etc, but I've always had issue with this due to the fact that it implies a sexual objectification.

 

However, I *do* find Asians more sexually attractive, but that is not the only reason I have that preference, and I wouldn't turn turn a girl of another race purely because of her ethnicity (an awesome girl is nevertheless awesome), but Asian features do carry a lot of weight for me.

 

Regardless, what are your thoughts on the matter? Do you think Asian women get freaked out by such a preference? Is it really any different from someone who prefers tall men, or smart women, or men with blue eyes, etc -- when does it cross the line from an acceptable preference to an all-out creepy fetish, in your opinion?

[Sam Spade]

I'm going to get some popcorn, sit back, and observe the mess this thread is going to become:cool:.

(Plus my gf is asian, so any further participation on my side will be a conflict of interest )

[JamesM]

I guess it comes down to...do you love the woman for who she is AND because she is Asian, or do you love her despite who she is ONLY because she is Asian?

 

I love my wife for who she is...and she is Dutch. I loved the women who I dated because of who they were...not because they were some nationality or race or culture. That may have made them who they were, but it was not why I dated them.

[pandagirl]

I'm an Asian woman so I feel qualified to answer this question!

 

I do raise an eyebrow if a guy ONLY dates Asian girls.

 

Superficially, everyone has a preference, but I don't like it when guys associate being Asian with being submissive.

 

I recently dated a guy who likes Asian girls and has dated several of them; it sort of bothered me, but I also knew he's date girls of all ethnicity, so it wasn't really an issue.

 

For the most part, I just think Asian women don't want to be viewed as some sort of collectible item. We want to be seen as individuals. We want guys to like us for us and not just because we are Asian.

[aerogurl87]

It's just a preference. I'm black and I am usually more attracted to white guys. Not to say I wouldn't date someone of another race, but I just prefer white guys for some reason. Nothing wrong with that since you said it's just a preference and not a must. It'd be creepy if you came across a woman of another race who had all the qualities you were looking for in a woman and great chemistry with, but you chose an Asian woman whom you had no chemistry with and who had almost none of the qualities you wanted in a woman, over the previous lady. Then you might have a problem.

[tigressA]

I had a guy friend who graduated from my college a couple of years ago and he has a fetish. He's really into Japanese anime/music/style, etc. He ONLY dates Asian girls--didn't matter what other girls may have liked him; if they weren't Asian, he wasn't going for it. He pursued every single Asian girl on campus and just ignored other girls (including me! I had a crush on him once). I'd say you're fine, basically because you would be very willing to date girls who aren't Asian if you liked them enough. You just have a preference.

[cognac]

Personally I don't think you should date someone of another race. That's my personal opinion, I believe we should only date people similar to us, this is where the best compatible in culture, genetics, etc is found.

 

 

I think Asian men and Black women would agree with me

[Skump]

Regardless, what are your thoughts on the matter? Do you think Asian women get freaked out by such a preference? Is it really any different from someone who prefers tall men, or smart women, or men with blue eyes, etc -- when does it cross the line from an acceptable preference to an all-out creepy fetish, in your opinion?

 

I could go into some essay arguing for the insignificance of "racial" features as being similar to that of hair color, etc., and thus perfectly valid items for arbitrary personal preference... but...

 

Rofl - my friend, has it escaped your attention that something on the order of 50%+ of asian women in the US are dating white guys?

 

You're looking for them; they're looking for you. There is no problem here.

[Johnny M]

I don't get this whole asian fetish thing....most asian women I see around here are ugly as sin.

[Vertex]

You're looking for them; they're looking for you. There is no problem here.

 

Oh there are plenty of problems I'm horrendously shy around new people.

[aerogurl87]

Personally I don't think you should date someone of another race. That's my personal opinion, I believe we should only date people similar to us, this is where the best compatible in culture, genetics, etc is found.

 

 

I think Asian men and Black women would agree with me

 

I'm a black woman and I highly disagree with you. I actually don't think race has anything to do with your culture sometimes. For instance, in my case most black guys I know (not all, but alot) have this grand delusion that I am impressed with pick up lines along the lines of "hey ma" and "yo what's up". That's not me and if I could find another black guy who spoke more eloquently I'd be open to dating him (found one before) but that seems to be hard to find where I live. In fact, I'd date anyone I found attractive both physically and intellectually, no matter what his race is.

[tami-chan]

I am of Japanese descent...and it bothers me if a man says me " i love everything Japanese, esp. the women"...My response: "Japanophiles are a turn off". End of story.

 

Anyway, I certainly don't blame you for being attracted to Asian women, I mean, clearly, why wouldn't you be? ...but I think you have to be honest about it with yourself....Why are you attracted ONLY to Asian women? Do you think Asian woman will give you excellent back rubs/massages? or will be subservient to you-run your bath, cook dinner AND have sex with you on demand? Do you think in bed we can all contort our bodies like those Chinese acrobats? or do you just hope to have kids who will have a better chance of going to an IVY school?

[cognac]

I could go into some essay arguing for the insignificance of "racial" features as being similar to that of hair color, etc., and thus perfectly valid items for arbitrary personal preference... but...

 

Rofl - my friend, has it escaped your attention that something on the order of 50%+ of asian women in the US are dating white guys?

 

You're looking for them; they're looking for you. There is no problem here.

 

 

Personally I find it disturbing how (from seeing it daily) some Asian women would rather date an ugly, nerdy white guy over a good looking, normal Asian guy.

 

There are consequences for Asian women and White men who fetishize each other. Maybe not immediate, but certainly in the long run.

 

The argument that this somehow proves race irrelevant is silly considering an Asian male needs to earn a quarter of a million dollars in order for a white female to consider him for a date. The rarity of Asian men dating interracially shows that there is indeed a racial element to this equation.

 

I do not personally find Asian women attractive, but even me at 5'7 and broke, have had Asian women approach me over a 6'3, financially successful, muscular Asian guys. That's just weird and screams racial self-hatred.

 

I'm not racist, I just prefer my own race for dating and think we'd all be happier if we did this. If anything these interracial relationships promote racist stereotypes rather than break them. (submissive asian woman swept off her feet by action hero white guys like me )

[Untouchable_Fire]

Do you think Asian woman will give you excellent back rubs/massages? or will be subservient to you-run your bath, cook dinner AND have sex with you on demand? Do you think in bed we can all contort our bodies like those Chinese acrobats? or do you just hope to have kids who will have a better chance of going to an IVY school?

 

LOL... anyone who actually believes that stuff has never dated an asian woman.

[burning 4 revenge]

I am of Japanese descent...and it bothers me if a man says me " i love everything Japanese, esp. the women"...My response: "Japanophiles are a turn off". End of story.

 

Anyway, I certainly don't blame you for being attracted to Asian women, I mean, clearly, why wouldn't you be? ...but I think you have to be honest about it with yourself....Why are you attracted ONLY to Asian women? Do you think Asian woman will give you excellent back rubs/massages? or will be subservient to you-run your bath, cook dinner AND have sex with you on demand? Do you think in bed we can all contort our bodies like those Chinese acrobats? or do you just hope to have kids who will have a better chance of going to an IVY school?

well they dont get fat for one thing

[Vertex]

I am of Japanese descent...and it bothers me if a man says me " i love everything Japanese, esp. the women"...My response: "Japanophiles are a turn off". End of story.

 

Anyway, I certainly don't blame you for being attracted to Asian women, I mean, clearly, why wouldn't you be? ...but I think you have to be honest about it with yourself....Why are you attracted ONLY to Asian women? Do you think Asian woman will give you excellent back rubs/massages? or will be subservient to you-run your bath, cook dinner AND have sex with you on demand? Do you think in bed we can all contort our bodies like those Chinese acrobats? or do you just hope to have kids who will have a better chance of going to an IVY school?

 

No, the fact that I already went to an Ivy will probably improve my kids' chances

 

On a serious note though, none of those reasons are why I prefer Asian women. While I do enjoy the culture/languages/etc, I just find the darker features of Asians to be more appealing to me (which is why I also find women with long, dark hair and dark eyes to be attractive -- of course, all Asians are this way, hence the preference), and I also like their eyes.

 

I also tend to find that I am more intellectually compatible with Asian females (not trying to be racist in a negative connotation -- it's just been my experience), which is extremely important to me.

 

None of my preferences have anything to do with "submissiveness" or anything like that -- I actually feel very self-conscious and rude if I am commanding people around. I want a team partner, really -- I prefer to treat people on equal ground and work WITH them instead of making all the decisions.

[shadowplay]

I'll admit I find it creepy (I'm not Asian).

 

I think there's something different about racial preferences vs. preferences for specific physical features (height, large breasts, etc.). There are several reasons, which I'll explain. I'm not saying this is the absolute truth, just my personal reaction to Asian fetishizing.

 

A guy who likes women with big breasts isn't usually stereotyping about women who possess this feature. He isn't thinking a woman with big breasts will be more submissive, for example.

 

Also, I suspect boob guy is less likely to find his mate's breasts the most appealing thing about her (overall looks and personality aside). I get the sense that many white guys who prefer Asian women value the woman they date most highly for their Asian-ness, not their other features.

 

Why? Race is a bigger part of somebody than big breasts or blue eyes are and racial stereotyping can affect how the overall person is judged, personality included.

 

I think Asian fetishizing may also be more problematic than other forms of racial fetishizing because it is often more loaded with stereotypes. This is purely anecdotal, but in my observation a white guy who prefers black women, for example, is more likely to prefer woman of color because of their physical features, not because he has some preconceived notion of how black women act.

 

There's a whole history behind this. It goes back to white men colonizing the Orient and spreading exoticized notions of Asian cultures. Exoticism is creepy, even if it's done in a "flattering" way, because it clumps groups of people and their customs together.

 

I find it particularly creepy when a white guy's Asian fetish coincides with overall Asianphilia. Tigress above gave a good example of a white guy obsessed with anime and Asian culture who only dates Asian women. It's sort of like the guy is viewing Asian women as yet another piece of the culture that he's sampling or collecting, like some tasty dish.

 

Of course, no guy with an Asian fetish would ever admit to stereotyping Asian women, but I think a lot of it happens at a subconscious level.

 

Strangely enough I've noticed that Asian fetishes are often common among more educated men (particularly science-y/math-y guys).

[burning 4 revenge]

I thinks its as simle as theyre usually skinny. Theyre petite and with so many white women blowing up into big beluga whales and being so demanding I can see why a lot of white guys go for East Asians and Indians

[shadowplay]

No, the fact that I already went to an Ivy will probably improve my kids' chances

 

On a serious note though, none of those reasons are why I prefer Asian women. While I do enjoy the culture/languages/etc, I just find the darker features of Asians to be more appealing to me (which is why I also find women with long, dark hair and dark eyes to be attractive -- of course, all Asians are this way, hence the preference), and I also like their eyes.

 

I also tend to find that I am more intellectually compatible with Asian females (not trying to be racist in a negative connotation -- it's just been my experience), which is extremely important to me.

 

None of my preferences have anything to do with "submissiveness" or anything like that -- I actually feel very self-conscious and rude if I am commanding people around. I want a team partner, really -- I prefer to treat people on equal ground and work WITH them instead of making all the decisions.

 

You are stereotyping, though, when you say that Asian women are more intellectually compatible with you. The idea that many Asian women possess a certain personality type is a stereotype.

[shadowplay]

I thinks its as simle as theyre usually skinny. Theyre petite and with so many white women blowing up into big beluga whales and being so demanding I can see why a lot of white guys go for East Asians and Indians

 

I think that's BS because there are plenty of skinny young white women as well. If this was truly the case, a guy would just prefer skinny women in general and not discriminate based on race.

 

Also your statement about white women being more demanding is ridiculous. I've known plenty of demanding Asian women, as well as non-demanding ones.

[Vertex]

Shadowplay: I agree that race plays a bigger "role" in terms of someone's breakdown, but the difference I'd make here is that I still would view it like any other trait. If I were a "big-boobs" guy, I'd probably gravitate towards such women and end up rejecting them if their personalities didn't mesh well with mine. Same goes for Asian girls -- I may be attracted, but if everything else isn't there, there's no interest at all.

 

I am genuinely trying to figure out if I am fetishizing Asians or not. I am not really a fan of anime, but I do enjoy Japanese/Chinese music (but then again, to be fair, I enjoy a LOT of musical genres in various languages, such as Swedish, Spanish, etc). I studied Chinese and Japanese in high school and college because I found them to be intellectually challenging languages (Spanish/French/German were way too easy for me and I wanted to take on something that, to me, not only sounded beautiful, but had all sorts of new "features" like tones, writing systems, etc). I found them fun.

 

However, the fact that these things happen to also fall in line with an "Asian preference" for women makes me wonder if it all comes across as a "fetish" and I am trying to discern whether or not that is in fact what I am doing.

[BookerT]

You are stereotyping, though, when you say that Asian women are more intellectually compatible with you. The idea that many Asian women possess a certain personality type is a stereotype.

 

Actually they do. Western and Eastern cultures are highly different.

 

Whilst American and European cultures are different there are still similarities. Asian cultures are very different, unless you're talking about a third generation Asian girl that's totally dropped her roots.

 

As for the OP's question. No it's not wrong to go for a type. So many people have a type, tall, dark, blond, etc. Yet once it's a race issue people start thinking.......racism. Which ain't true.

 

People are too sensitive when it comes to race in our society.

[Vertex]

You are stereotyping, though, when you say that Asian women are more intellectually compatible with you. The idea that many Asian women possess a certain personality type is a stereotype.

 

Yes, I do agree that to some extent I am stereotyping -- but it's not like I automatically assume Asian = smart. It's just that there's a certain correlation that I've tended to notice -- again, if I find that someone isn't actually compatible, I'm not going to keep them just because they're Asian. To me, it's no more different from any other signalling device than good hygiene is a signal for health. It may not be true, but it's more highly correlated. However, "correlation" tends to become "racist" to many -- my question is where you draw the line, if that's even possible, or if it's even necessarily/fundamentally wrong to think this way in the first place.

[shadowplay]

Shadowplay: I agree that race plays a bigger "role" in terms of someone's breakdown, but the difference I'd make here is that I still would view it like any other trait. If I were a "big-boobs" guy, I'd probably gravitate towards such women and end up rejecting them if their personalities didn't mesh well with mine. Same goes for Asian girls -- I may be attracted, but if everything else isn't there, there's no interest at all.

 

I am genuinely trying to figure out if I am fetishizing Asians or not. I am not really a fan of anime, but I do enjoy Japanese/Chinese music (but then again, to be fair, I enjoy a LOT of musical genres in various languages, such as Swedish, Spanish, etc). I studied Chinese and Japanese in high school and college because I found them to be intellectually challenging languages (Spanish/French/German were way too easy for me and I wanted to take on something that, to me, not only sounded beautiful, but had all sorts of new "features" like tones, writing systems, etc). I found them fun.

 

However, the fact that these things happen to also fall in line with an "Asian preference" for women makes me wonder if it all comes across as a "fetish" and I am trying to discern whether or not that is in fact what I am doing.

 

Based on what you've written above, I think that you subconsciously are.

 

Unless you live in Sweden, the physical features you profess to like in Asian women (dark hair and eyes) can be also found in abundance in women of other races. So it makes me wonder why the specific racial preference as opposed to a general preference for dark-haired/eyed women unless some form of exoticism is going on?

[Sam Spade]

Asian = thinner, better skin, more likely to have traditional family values. Smarter in relationships (picks her fights). If you treat her right, she will treat you right.