weltrav Posted November 2, 2009 Posted November 2, 2009 Well if you haven't seen any of my other posts, the skinny is that my ex and I broke up about 6 months ago but wanted it to be temporary while we straightened up our lives. I thought I was healed and honestly didn't think about her often. Then in September she made signals she wanted to get back together and I made it clear that I was interested. Well she then resisted and is now seeing another guy. My question I guess is concerning NC. It has been one week today since I talked to her last. I feel so vulnerable since I came after her and she rejected me, like I lost all dignity for her. Is it right to just not speak to her at all from this point out? Honestly, it has made me feel a bit better--perhaps in regaining some of my dignity--in not talking to her. 2 or 3 days ago she texted me that someone had called her phone while she was at work and wondered if it was me, and hoping it was so that it meant I don't hate her. I haven't responded to her. Is it horrible of me if I don't at least contact her to say I'm going NC with her? That sounds silly but want to know your thoughts.
onewillburn Posted November 2, 2009 Posted November 2, 2009 You will probaby regret breaking NC just to tell her you're going NC. I'm sure she'll get the hint that you don't want to talk to her when you don't get back to her. It might seem mean or cold to just ignore her like that but you're doing what is needed for the sake of your well-being. Besides, she left you, and you're not obligated to be extra sensitive about her feelings. You're on the right track with no contact. Just make sure to stick with it.
Author weltrav Posted November 2, 2009 Author Posted November 2, 2009 Yeah, I think that I know NC is the best thing. It is hard though 'cause I'm constantly thinking of things I want to say to her about our relationship or questions I want to ask her. Yesterday I even wrote a letter to her pretty much detailing the ways in which she hurt me. When I wrote it I thought I'd send it but I don't think that would be wise either. It's so weird because back when we were friends before our relationship, I was so good at saying just the right thing and remaining mysterious/alluring enough to keep her attention and ultimately she made the first move to initiate the relationship. Now I feel like I've lost all of that aura and self control, throwing myself at her like a wet towel.
JaggedRoad Posted November 2, 2009 Posted November 2, 2009 It's so weird because back when we were friends before our relationship, I was so good at saying just the right thing and remaining mysterious/alluring enough to keep her attention and ultimately she made the first move to initiate the relationship. Now I feel like I've lost all of that aura and self control, throwing myself at her like a wet towel. That's how I feel as well. For me, it's due to the fact that I've already revealed much of my life to her and there isn't too much left to tell her. Well, the remaining are the more sensitive issues that I was not yet ready to reveal. And there's also the fact that I'm exhausted and refuse to go through more "trials" just to prove myself to my ex.
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