LostInLA Posted November 2, 2009 Posted November 2, 2009 So I've been seeing a therapist for about 2 months now and I thought I'd share a couple of things that I learned during my sessions that have helped me cope with my break up. 1. Write - Whenever you are feeling upset, take a pen to paper and write. Typing is not the same - you must write, write, write. Even write out a letter to your ex but don't ever give it to him/her. 2. Cry - Allow yourself to cry. Give yourself a time and a place to let yourself feel upset and to let it out. Crying relieves stress, which makes it anti-aging! There was a point in time where I would evaluate my emotions every morning and if I felt even a tad bit sad, I would cry. I think this helped me avoid crying at work lol. 3. Empty-chair - Envision your ex in an empty chair and say anything and everything you would say to your ex as if they were there. Ok, to be honest I haven't done this yet. I've gotten so far as envisioned my ex in a chair, but I instantly start bawling. Eventually I will do this. It's a proven method...even if it sounds awkward. 4. Don't judge - Don't judge yourself or judge the process. Everyone deals in different ways and in a different amount of time. Allow yourself time to deal with your loss, as you are grieving right now. Also, give yourself the LUXURY of time. I really like seeing it this way! You are pampering yourself with time, how awesome is that? 5. Learn to love yourself - Fall in love with yourself. Rebuild your self-esteem. Realize you are worthy of being loved. Know that you deserve to have someone love you as much as you love them. Loving yourself will attract a good mate. Please feel free to add your tips!
muse08 Posted November 2, 2009 Posted November 2, 2009 So I've been seeing a therapist for about 2 months now and I thought I'd share a couple of things that I learned during my sessions that have helped me cope with my break up. 1. Write - Whenever you are feeling upset, take a pen to paper and write. Typing is not the same - you must write, write, write. Even write out a letter to your ex but don't ever give it to him/her. 2. Cry - Allow yourself to cry. Give yourself a time and a place to let yourself feel upset and to let it out. Crying relieves stress, which makes it anti-aging! There was a point in time where I would evaluate my emotions every morning and if I felt even a tad bit sad, I would cry. I think this helped me avoid crying at work lol. 3. Empty-chair - Envision your ex in an empty chair and say anything and everything you would say to your ex as if they were there. Ok, to be honest I haven't done this yet. I've gotten so far as envisioned my ex in a chair, but I instantly start bawling. Eventually I will do this. It's a proven method...even if it sounds awkward. 4. Don't judge - Don't judge yourself or judge the process. Everyone deals in different ways and in a different amount of time. Allow yourself time to deal with your loss, as you are grieving right now. Also, give yourself the LUXURY of time. I really like seeing it this way! You are pampering yourself with time, how awesome is that? 5. Learn to love yourself - Fall in love with yourself. Rebuild your self-esteem. Realize you are worthy of being loved. Know that you deserve to have someone love you as much as you love them. Loving yourself will attract a good mate. Please feel free to add your tips! this is beautiful...THANKS for posting!
Dark_of_the_Moon Posted November 2, 2009 Posted November 2, 2009 Hmmm, ok. Good post....helpful. I see what I am doing and not doing in this. Thank you for posting. Wish I could have help in this situation, but its not possible. I like the tips though. Any thoughts on how to turn your thoughts more positive?
Author LostInLA Posted November 3, 2009 Author Posted November 3, 2009 Hmmm, ok. Good post....helpful. I see what I am doing and not doing in this. Thank you for posting. Wish I could have help in this situation, but its not possible. I like the tips though. Any thoughts on how to turn your thoughts more positive? Well I suppose that depends on what kind of thoughts?
USMCHokie Posted November 3, 2009 Posted November 3, 2009 5. Learn to love yourself - Fall in love with yourself. Rebuild your self-esteem. Realize you are worthy of being loved. Know that you deserve to have someone love you as much as you love them. Loving yourself will attract a good mate. I'd have to say that this is the absolute most important one...when someone has left you, you tend to associate your own worth with how your ex valued you, which would likely be pretty low...the first thing you think is that your ex is the only person that will ever love you...so you associate love with that person, which only drives you to chase them harder and consequently push them further away... The quicker you "re-realize" your self-worth, the quicker you are to recovering and coping with the loss...not only will you be more comfortable living alone, but you'll feel more confident and be seen as a desirable person to others...
WTRanger Posted November 3, 2009 Posted November 3, 2009 Another important step. Let go! You've got to let go of the things you cannot control. You've done everything you can do, so let go. The Universe always, ALWAYS works in a forward motion. It never works sideways or backwards. Despite what you may think now, in a few years from know you will realize that this situation did indeed happen for the best. You just can't see it now. But believe me, everything always happens for the positive. To add on, remember that ignorance is bliss. Don't go snooping for information you cannot handle at this point. No snooping emails, texts, having friends seek info. Nothing! Just remain blissfully stupid. It is much better that way.
Author LostInLA Posted November 3, 2009 Author Posted November 3, 2009 So true! I just came across this amazing article. http://www.positive-way.com/letting_go_of_a_past_relationshi.htm Also, forgiveness is part of the process. It's a difficult concept to grasp when you're coping, but forgiving will set you free.
machimoo Posted November 3, 2009 Posted November 3, 2009 The Chair Exercise is REALLY GOOD! I do this a lot in my car because that's one of the few times in the day when I'm alone, and you can relieve a lot of stress this way! It is a huge release of emotions and I often feel so much stronger afterwards! You're right though, often I can bearly get the words out of my mouth because I'm sobbing so much!
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