JolliX Posted November 2, 2009 Posted November 2, 2009 Some times I feel that I really want to be the person that can just use someone, have no feeling for them, and discard them. It seems so much easier than being the person that gets hurt all the time. I just don't understand how this frame of thinking works. Anyone else ever have the desire to want to be the prick, and not the one that is constantly hurt?
USMCHokie Posted November 2, 2009 Posted November 2, 2009 Yep...until I realize that I am comfortable enough with myself and being alone that I don't need to get my jollys from doing that...getting hurt just means that you're bringing an emotional contribution to the table when it comes to relationships...one day some girl is going to appreciate that...
onewillburn Posted November 2, 2009 Posted November 2, 2009 I think there's an approachable middle ground in between being a pushover and being a complete dick. You can be nice, caring, and respectful and at the same time stick up for yourself, evoke strength, etc. The key is to have your own set of morals and stick to them no matter what. Don't let anybody step on you or use you. Always do your best and if isn't good enough for somebody else, move on. Learn to pick your battles and never try to change for anybody else.
Taramere Posted November 2, 2009 Posted November 2, 2009 (edited) Some times I feel that I really want to be the person that can just use someone, have no feeling for them, and discard them. It seems so much easier than being the person that gets hurt all the time. I just don't understand how this frame of thinking works. Anyone else ever have the desire to want to be the prick, and not the one that is constantly hurt? No. I mean, sometimes I behave like a bit of a bitch because I'm in a bad humour or someone's pressed a button/is irritating me. Or I think I'm being funny, and they just don't see the joke. I can't say I yearn to be the one who makes other people feel rejected or ****ty though. That's a horrible feeling, and I can't quite comprehend why people would actually want to experience it. Being a total pushover and being a total dick are two sides of the same coin. Either way, it means you're failing to be a balanced and functional person...and it's time to take stock of what's causing that. To actually aim to be one of life's dicks...well, that will make you a ridiculous human being. Most adults try to work on the negative aspects of themselves as opposed to taking some kind of puerile pride in them. It sounds as though you kind of idolise and look up to people who most others would dismiss as being pricks. Maybe that's what you need to work on about yourself. Get to a point where you can either assert yourself with people like that, or walk away from them for good...rather than putting all kinds of positive spin on their bad behaviour. Edited November 2, 2009 by Taramere
eeyore1981 Posted November 2, 2009 Posted November 2, 2009 Some times I feel that I really want to be the person that can just use someone, have no feeling for them, and discard them. It seems so much easier than being the person that gets hurt all the time. I just don't understand how this frame of thinking works. Anyone else ever have the desire to want to be the prick, and not the one that is constantly hurt? Do you mean like when I found out my H had been cheating on me for a year, and after rolling around in agony for a little while, I felt very angry and bitter for turning down guys who had been hitting on me because I was married and even though at times my marriage wasn't very good, I still respected the vows I took? Absolutely. I think it's hard when you take the high road and do the right thing, and end up being the one taking the brunt of the fallout.
WiseOne1 Posted November 2, 2009 Posted November 2, 2009 I had a thread about the exact same subject acouple of months ago, I wish I was the "jerk" because women seem to respect them. All the "jerks" I know, never go through any hurt, they treat the girls like they are disposable and move on, and unlike a good guy, they can get away with anything, a female will treat them like a KING but a good guy will get treated like trash. Also don't listen to the person under me, because in real life it's never good in "relationships" to take the high road.
Dark_of_the_Moon Posted November 2, 2009 Posted November 2, 2009 I have had these thoughts. I did say basically the same thing to a friend of mine. I hate being a nice girl, caring about others feeling, doing the right thing all the time. I mean, what has it gotten me? Taking the high road did not protect me from being used and lied to, from being hurt and who really cares? I was wondering last night, do men think I am weak or worse boring, because I am nice and caring? That is the impression that I am getting. The trashy women and the biotches seem to be winning over honest girls.
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