monkey00 Posted November 2, 2009 Posted November 2, 2009 I'm just wondering how much women out there truly do not like to inconvenienced when it comes to dating. I know there are people out there who have standards such as distance/proximity, schedule when it comes to their dates. With that said, I've had a number of girls flake out on me or express disinterest in meeting up because of my work late hours. I start work at 12 and average I either get off work at 8 or 9pm some days. While most people with regular hours get off around 5 or 6pm. IME women prefer to meet up right after work to do something/meet up and would hate to go home and come back out through a half hour/hour train ride. As a result some times I've had to compromise myself by going to their neighborhoods often after work. I mean a woman with 90% interest level won't mind being inconvenienced would they? Or are most women lazy/have high standards when it comes to dating?
tfkizzle Posted November 2, 2009 Posted November 2, 2009 I mean a woman with 90% interest level won't mind being inconvenienced would they? Yes she would, if you're talking about someone you've just met or only been on a few dates with. If she already knows you two click and she likes you and you like her and attraction is there, then no, she probably wouldn't. Or are most women lazy/have high standards when it comes to dating? Someone you ask out on a first/second/third date, or anyone who doesn't want to be in a long distance relationship isn't lazy or have high standards necessarily, just because she doesn't want to spend an hour or two (round trip) to meet you for coffee or whatever after she already went home.
SoulSearch_CO Posted November 2, 2009 Posted November 2, 2009 I think it's kind of interesting that you're the one with the goofy work schedule, but you appear to feel that there's something wrong with women for not wanting to be inconvenienced by your schedule. Not trying to be rude - just making an observation. Can you not arrange get-togethers on days that you DON'T work to make it easier? Anyway - even if I had very high interest in a guy, for a first date, no - I most likely would not be interested in the extra half-hour/hour commute additional after having unwound from a workday just to "meet up." Second date? MAYBE - if I really was 90% interest-level or higher (and I either KNEW his level was about the same, or I could find another reason to already be in the area). But really, IME, if a woman is willing to go out of her way for a guy for a first date, the guy then considers her to be "desperate." It's hard to balance these things.
Tiz Posted November 2, 2009 Posted November 2, 2009 (edited) Women that have high interest level will go out of their way and make excuses just to date you. The actual time you see them wouldn't be an issue. Girls that have an interest level where I want it make dating them easy. They don't make it hard. I also set a distance of 35-40 drivable miles on who I will date. Even that distance is pushing it. Anything over that I believe does start to inconvenience both parties and allows attraction to fade. You should be picking these girls up every time too. For the first date (interview) I do like to meet for coffee and chat just for about 45 minutes to get a general sense of the girl, see if she shows up on time, etc. Assuming everything goes right after that I think you should pick her up for dates. Being a gentleman is a good thing. Edited November 2, 2009 by Tiz
Author monkey00 Posted November 2, 2009 Author Posted November 2, 2009 Unfortunately for where I live, not everyone has or needs a car. Though it would be nice to have one to pick up dates, etc. But what you guys are saying does make sense. For someone you've just met and started dating it would be wrong to assume they would go out of their way to meet you. Even so though, if I was into a girl I would not find her to be desperate if she went out of her way to see me (but it would depend on the extent of 'going out of her way' or if she really is compromising her own time to see me). And I actually like it when a girl expresses enthusiasm in seeing me, which makes me like her more if I already do like her. However I will also have to comment on what Tiz said. I've been with women that have gone out of their way to meet me or call me up at strange hours to want to meet me also. Anyway I made it out to a date for this girl once. But it seems to be because of my schedule she prefers not to meet up on weeknights but weekends. She seems to be making an effort in me rescheduling or her rescheduling. So I hope it works out between us and can finally go on that second date!!
bean1 Posted November 2, 2009 Posted November 2, 2009 I often work night shift (6pm-6am), so when I was single, I only had dates outside of work days. Perhaps this would work for you. And few women are interested in dates after 9pm... it suggests booty call (now, as a shiftworker myself, I know that you don't necessarily think this - but for people who have never done shiftwork, they really don't have a concept of the lifestyle). So your best bet is to meet them on a day off.
samspade Posted November 2, 2009 Posted November 2, 2009 I'm just wondering how much women out there truly do not like to inconvenienced when it comes to dating. I know there are people out there who have standards such as distance/proximity, schedule when it comes to their dates. With that said, I've had a number of girls flake out on me or express disinterest in meeting up because of my work late hours. I start work at 12 and average I either get off work at 8 or 9pm some days. While most people with regular hours get off around 5 or 6pm. IME women prefer to meet up right after work to do something/meet up and would hate to go home and come back out through a half hour/hour train ride. As a result some times I've had to compromise myself by going to their neighborhoods often after work. I mean a woman with 90% interest level won't mind being inconvenienced would they? Or are most women lazy/have high standards when it comes to dating? When a woman wants to be with you, she'll go out of her way to be with you. If she cannot, she will counter-offer to make sure something happens. With women, their actions are their message. Change your MO if you are getting the same results.
Author monkey00 Posted November 4, 2009 Author Posted November 4, 2009 I often work night shift (6pm-6am), so when I was single, I only had dates outside of work days. Perhaps this would work for you. And few women are interested in dates after 9pm... it suggests booty call (now, as a shiftworker myself, I know that you don't necessarily think this - but for people who have never done shiftwork, they really don't have a concept of the lifestyle). So your best bet is to meet them on a day off. A job that isn't regular business hours is definitely a lifestyle I agree. It's tough because it can have an affect on your social life, aspects of your personal time, and impact your relationships with close people also. When a woman wants to be with you, she'll go out of her way to be with you. If she cannot, she will counter-offer to make sure something happens. Agreed. With women, their actions are their message. Change your MO if you are getting the same results. what's MO?
threebyfate Posted November 4, 2009 Posted November 4, 2009 Keep in mind that there's a subsection of the female population that believe late dates are excuses for booty calls.
BG1985 Posted November 4, 2009 Posted November 4, 2009 MO is modus operandi, which means method of operating.
Author monkey00 Posted November 4, 2009 Author Posted November 4, 2009 Keep in mind that there's a subsection of the female population that believe late dates are excuses for booty calls. Hey TBF long time no see, why the username change? In regards to what you've said, I never knew that a portion of the female population believed that. I mean if you have a reasonble excuse like working late, why does it even make a difference? Or how about switching roles and having the woman work late and the guy getting off work early and making late dates? MO is modus operandi, which means method of operating. I don't think there's much MO for me, aside from leaving work early or doing weekends. Though I wonder how much I'm really missing out on because of these work hours.
threebyfate Posted November 4, 2009 Posted November 4, 2009 Hey TBF long time no see, why the username change? In regards to what you've said, I never knew that a portion of the female population believed that. I mean if you have a reasonble excuse like working late, why does it even make a difference? Or how about switching roles and having the woman work late and the guy getting off work early and making late dates?A new positive stage of life, a new username. I was throwing out possibilities, of which booty call is one of them. Whether or not the girl believes you're working late, is up to you to convince her. Also, not everyone wants to date or have a relationship with someone who has a different life schedule than they do. It's not about laziness, just preferences about how often and when you can get together.
Author monkey00 Posted November 5, 2009 Author Posted November 5, 2009 A new positive stage of life, a new username. I was throwing out possibilities, of which booty call is one of them. Whether or not the girl believes you're working late, is up to you to convince her. Also, not everyone wants to date or have a relationship with someone who has a different life schedule than they do. It's not about laziness, just preferences about how often and when you can get together. I agree it is about preference and proximity and investing time for something to grow. But I mean hey, if both parties live busy lives then it pretty much breaks even wouldn't it? I think it does. Unfortunately if one party has too much free time after getting out from work early and the other doesn't, well the one that works late is pretty much shooting him/herself in the foot by not being available enough.
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