kirby Posted November 2, 2009 Posted November 2, 2009 When I think about the situation I find myself in, I experience a physical reaction that is very disconcerting. The thoughts that come to mind range from the greatest of high points - recalling the wonderful conversations, the cutest text messages, the excitement in his voice about bringing me a surprise when we meet next, etc.. to the most distressing of low points - wondering if he's forgetting about me while he's away, expecting him to disappear without a second thought, questioning his sincerity and intentions, wondering what the future holds. These thoughts have literally caused my heart to hurt. It's a tightness in my chest that is due to the stress and anxiety of such roller coaster emotions. I can almost feel my heart sinking. These physical manifestations are always of concerrn - but I am particularly worried because this relationship is neither sexual nor long-term. It is a 5 month emotional affair; and if I am feeling this anxiety at this point, I can only imagine what looms ahead should it continue. I have such a strong feelings about this man and that this is where I should be right now; but then I read so much about EA's that I literally begin to feel ill. I'm thinking I'm neither mentally or physically cut out for the role of OW! Anyone else have similar reactions?
mybrowneyedgirl Posted November 2, 2009 Posted November 2, 2009 only after dday when he dumped me on my a** and i realized how little i meant to him. my heart literally hurt. and i had this pit in my stomach that lasted for days. its getting better day by day but still is all too real. the physical manifestations are almost as bad as the emotional ones.
NowhereToHide Posted November 2, 2009 Posted November 2, 2009 I think that's the nature of affairs, at least for most of us. The highs when you are doing well, communicating, when you are together are so remarkable. But the lows, when he is with his wife, on the weekends, when he hasn't contacted you are horrible. I developed horrible anxiety during my A. I literally had a pit in my stomach that to this day hasn't fully gone away. I allowed my emotions over my xAP to tie me up in knots. I look back and the highs didn't make the lows worth it.
Fallen Angel Posted November 2, 2009 Posted November 2, 2009 Yes, physical manifestaions of emotional pain are very real. I, too, sometimes feel that tightening in my chest, that empty ache in my stomach, and sometimes severe headaches that throb for days. For me it is not when he is away that I feel these things, but when I contemplate ending things with him. But when I am in his arms all the physical pain seems to flow away. It isn't fair really, that we give them so much power over us, that they can actually make us ill. UGH! Being an OW sucks!!!
HisSweetThing Posted November 2, 2009 Posted November 2, 2009 Yes, physical manifestaions of emotional pain are very real. I, too, sometimes feel that tightening in my chest, that empty ache in my stomach, and sometimes severe headaches that throb for days. For me it is not when he is away that I feel these things, but when I contemplate ending things with him. But when I am in his arms all the physical pain seems to flow away. It isn't fair really, that we give them so much power over us, that they can actually make us ill. UGH! Being an OW sucks!!! This is exactly how it is with me. My heart literally hurts a lot of times - usually when I am thinking about ending it and trying to imagine my life without him or even when he is hurting because of an issue with one of his kids, then my heart hurts because of the pain I know he is in. I get so mad at myself for allowing him to have all this power over me. I've never let another human being dictate my life before.
MizzBlue72 Posted November 2, 2009 Posted November 2, 2009 Yes, I have had these feelings before. It usually comes when we have tried NC. Also early on in the A when I didn't know what he really wanted. I think that it is hard being the OW, and no, I don't think any of us have ever really wanted to be in this place. It's unfortunate how our relationships have started. I know it would be much easier if we were all available when we first met.
delirious Posted November 2, 2009 Posted November 2, 2009 For me the pain is physical too. I miss him about one hour after I have left him and the pain causes me to cry lots. I find myself crying in the supermarket and driving about, it is crazy to feel like this about someone. I have never missed anyone like this, except my children the first time apart. And yes, it is a cliche, but my heart hurts too. Are we masochists the lot of us????
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