9Lives Posted November 2, 2009 Posted November 2, 2009 My exhusband seems to believe that most women have no problem sharing a man with a another woman. They just dont want anyone to know that they think it is okay. He also believes that the laws should change to allow a man to have two wives instead of one and that would help most women have a man. he believes the law has us stuck in a system that really does not work because a man should really be able to have two women. I think this is ridiculous!! I cant hardly stand talking to him right now.
JustLooking123 Posted November 2, 2009 Posted November 2, 2009 I cant hardly stand talking to him right now. Then don't. He's your EX husband, and he sounds like a total douchebag.
Author 9Lives Posted November 2, 2009 Author Posted November 2, 2009 Then don't. He's your EX husband, and he sounds like a total douchebag. According to him, there are alot of women out there who really dont mind sharing. they just dont want anyone to know It is so ridiculous!
Johnny M Posted November 2, 2009 Posted November 2, 2009 My exhusband seems to believe that most women have no problem sharing a man with a another woman. They just dont want anyone to know that they think it is okay. He also believes that the laws should change to allow a man to have two wives instead of one and that would help most women have a man. he believes the law has us stuck in a system that really does not work because a man should really be able to have two women. I think this is ridiculous!! I cant hardly stand talking to him right now. I also think it's ridiculous. Why stop at two?
aerogurl87 Posted November 2, 2009 Posted November 2, 2009 Ugh sounds like my ex bf. Apparently I should've been completely fine with him cybering with other women online because he was "helping them raise their self esteem by making them feel sexy". Even when I outright told him it was cheating he was still in denial about that for about 3 days and that's when I checked out our relationship emotionally. So glad that is over.
Author 9Lives Posted November 2, 2009 Author Posted November 2, 2009 if society said to a man okay you can legal marry two women....he would want three. I dont think a man can be satisfied.
BookerT Posted November 2, 2009 Posted November 2, 2009 This is a more monogamy vs polygamy discussion. Now judging from most of the responses here most of the posters view this concept as repulsive. But the irony is MOST human cultures throughout history have worked under polygamy. Even Islamic countries these days work under polygamy, a man can have 4 wives. That's like 1/5 of the world's population. What is interesting though is many women would rather be a successful man's second wife, or a man's mistress (in our culture) then go and get herself a less successful man that's all her own. Not saying all women do this, but it's interesting to see the influence of evolution at work here.
aerogurl87 Posted November 2, 2009 Posted November 2, 2009 BookerT I don't mind polygamy if you're upfront about it and don't try to hide it. If you're hiding it then it's cheating and I don't like it. If you're polyamourous and open about it to your partner, then I see no problem.
Barby Posted November 2, 2009 Posted November 2, 2009 I think it depends on the woman, their morals, where they're at in life, what they want out of life....ect, ect, ect;) But generally speaking I doubt that "most women" are secretly okay with sharing their man with another woman. He does sound slightly "off" and maybe needs a reality check. Good thing he's your ex.
Sam Spade Posted November 2, 2009 Posted November 2, 2009 This guy is insane - what guy would want to deal with 2 women, if even one is such a pain in the azz:mad:? I'd love to be a sultan though . The girls in the harem know what's up .
BookerT Posted November 2, 2009 Posted November 2, 2009 BookerT I don't mind polygamy if you're upfront about it and don't try to hide it. If you're hiding it then it's cheating and I don't like it. If you're polyamourous and open about it to your partner, then I see no problem. I wasn't referring to hiding it. In fact the OP didn't indicate the man wanted to hide it, he just wanted the law to be changed. I am also not stating that I support polygamy, I was just reporting the interesting fact that even if you suppress polygamy in a monogamous society, it naturally happens in the behaviors of the individuals anyway.
Els Posted November 2, 2009 Posted November 2, 2009 I'm pretty darn sure that Muslims DON'T make up 1/5th of the world's population, really. I agree, why are you even talking to your XH about this? Besides that, yes, some women truly don't mind. Perhaps they have been conditioned by their culture not to mind - teaching a woman repeatedly that you must allow your husband to enjoy other women as well in order to have a relationship, especially from young, works 'wonders'. I would definitely mind, though, and I think most modern or even semi-traditional women would.
Blackfrost Posted November 2, 2009 Posted November 2, 2009 This guy is insane - what guy would want to deal with 2 women, if even one is such a pain in the azz:mad:? I'd love to be a sultan though . The girls in the harem know what's up . ^^^^ what he said
BookerT Posted November 2, 2009 Posted November 2, 2009 I'm pretty darn sure that Muslims DON'T make up 1/5th of the world's population, really. I agree, why are you even talking to your XH about this? Besides that, yes, some women truly don't mind. Perhaps they have been conditioned by their culture not to mind - teaching a woman repeatedly that you must allow your husband to enjoy other women as well in order to have a relationship, especially from young, works 'wonders'. I would definitely mind, though, and I think most modern or even semi-traditional women would. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Islam third paragraph of the link, 1.57 billion Muslims. It's actually over 1/5 of the world population, and rapidly growing since many Islamic countries have fast population growth rates. Islam will one day surpass Christianity as the biggest regligion on earth.
aerogurl87 Posted November 2, 2009 Posted November 2, 2009 This guy is insane - what guy would want to deal with 2 women, if even one is such a pain in the azz:mad:? I'd love to be a sultan though . The girls in the harem know what's up . Haha when I was single I had a list of guys in my phone under the category of "harem". I used to joke around that they were like my personal harem since I had like a different guy to go on a date with for each day of the week. Ahh memories...
Author 9Lives Posted November 2, 2009 Author Posted November 2, 2009 I'm pretty darn sure that Muslims DON'T make up 1/5th of the world's population, really. I agree, why are you even talking to your XH about this? Besides that, yes, some women truly don't mind. Perhaps they have been conditioned by their culture not to mind - teaching a woman repeatedly that you must allow your husband to enjoy other women as well in order to have a relationship, especially from young, works 'wonders'. I would definitely mind, though, and I think most modern or even semi-traditional women would. My exh and I are friends. Nothing wrong with that! we were just having a conversation. He feels it should be legal to have more than one wife to stop to help women not be by themselves since women out number men bull. He was very serious. While we were married he didnt cheat on me that I know of cause he was always home. i cheated on him...lol!! Maybe if every man should have more than one woman...every woman should have one extra boy toy...yeah baby! By the way, before you run with the ball which I know some of you will. He still wants to get back together cause he feels I cheated because of how he treated me. My xh was not the best man to be married to at the time. He a great guy but his view are very strong and drive you crazy. I cant stand to have certain conversations with him cause I honestly dont always want to hear what he has to say cause it makes me want to scream. Sometimes I want him to just shut the *** up.
SoulSearch_CO Posted November 2, 2009 Posted November 2, 2009 My exhusband seems to believe that most women have no problem sharing a man with a another woman. They just dont want anyone to know that they think it is okay. LMFAO! It sounds like your XH is living in his own personal fantasy land. Just tell him he doesn't HAVE to marry both women - he can still live with both of them if he truly can find two of them that can stand this arrangement. All the more power to him. Guys generally get the short end of the stick in a divorce anyway - is he freaking INSANE thinking it's a good idea to be married to TWO women at the same time? Gees. Sounds to me like you were perhaps too generous to him in the divorce.
Taramere Posted November 2, 2009 Posted November 2, 2009 (edited) Then don't. He's your EX husband, I second this. There's absolutely no need to attend solicitously on his ramblings about life, the universe and swinging....and as hearing about this evidently upsets you, why do it? You can be on friendly terms without all that. Edited November 2, 2009 by Taramere
Author 9Lives Posted November 2, 2009 Author Posted November 2, 2009 I second this. There's absolutely no need to attend solicitously on his ramblings about life, the universe and swinging....and as hearing about this evidently upsets you, why do it? You can be on friendly terms without all that. your right. The conversation caught me off guard. It kinda popped up. Believe me, i didnt want to hear about it
Jersey Shortie Posted November 2, 2009 Posted November 2, 2009 9Lives, could he possibly be trying to purposely get your goat? He's your ex so it doesn't really matter if he thinks this way. You're not the woman that has to deal with it anymore. And on this subject, here is my 2 cents. If God thought men should be spread so thin in dealing with two women, he would have given men two penises. When guys say stuff like "men should have two women.." or somethign similar, it's just all ego talking. And it's usually not the ego of a confident man. Most men don't even know how to make one woman happy.
Author 9Lives Posted November 2, 2009 Author Posted November 2, 2009 9Lives, could he possibly be trying to purposely get your goat? He's your ex so it doesn't really matter if he thinks this way. You're not the woman that has to deal with it anymore. And on this subject, here is my 2 cents. If God thought men should be spread so thin in dealing with two women, he would have given men two penises. When guys say stuff like "men should have two women.." or somethign similar, it's just all ego talking. And it's usually not the ego of a confident man. Most men don't even know how to make one woman happy. Jersey..he is dead serious. I am not playing. and you are right they cant keep on of us happy so he cant handle two or three. they become so moody and stupid
RogueAngel19 Posted November 3, 2009 Posted November 3, 2009 Your ex-husband sounds like he needs his lower extremities removed permanently just for that kind of thinking especially since it ruins marriages. He never deserved to marry you thinking like that. Thank god you got rid of him now go get yourself a real man!
samspade Posted November 3, 2009 Posted November 3, 2009 It depends on the man in question. Most women are more than happy to share an alpha male. In fact, they would rather share a good man than have a chump all to themselves. However, I think it boils down to a sense of competition, as in the end most women want to CONQUER that man rather than continually chase him. It's been my experience that a woman wants a man that other women want. Whether she's willing to tolerate real philandering is on a case-by-case basis. But she at least wants to know that her man makes other vaginas tingle. It validates the choice she's made.
samspade Posted November 3, 2009 Posted November 3, 2009 Go to the "Other man/woman" thread if you want to find out more.
kiss_andmakeup Posted November 3, 2009 Posted November 3, 2009 Who cares what he says? He's your Ex husband, and for good reason, apparently. The arguments that say "but in many countries, polygamy is widely accepted and is even the social norm" don't really apply to most men in THIS country. How often have you been on a first or second date with a man (in a western country where monogamy is the widely accepted and legal lifestyle), and he says, "Oh by the way, I believe in the polygamist culture and would like to date/marry multiple women. There is strong evolutionary, cultural, and historical evidence that this is a healthy lifestyle. Is this okay with you?" Personally, this has never happened to me, or anyone I know. I have seen men say this after entering a presumably monogamous relationship with a woman, and then cheating on her or wanting to branch out and see other women, and she is not okay with it. If that is the kind of lifestyle you want, the only way it's acceptable is if the woman knows before you are in a committed relationship with her. You can't date a woman exclusively for a year and then spring the polygamy argument on her (unless she is incredibly open-minded or like-minded). That's just not the way it works.
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