ClayM Posted November 2, 2009 Posted November 2, 2009 Hi, I'm in a bit of a pickle. I was just dumped after 6 years of what i thought was an awesome relationship. We had our ups and downs but nothing that ever threatened the relationship. We even took a 3 day vacation and had an amazing time together, just prior to the break. The next day she tells me she has feelings for someone who hangs around her work and that our relationship was in jeopardy. 2 days after that it was official and i was single. She went on a date with him and kept me in contact and up to date. After a month they are starting to stay at one anothers house and spend a lot of time together(however haven’t committed as a ‘couple’). On my end, she is starting to turn me off completly, no texts, no phone, nothing. It’s getting worse and worse. I am a muscian, so i wrote her a song, i’ve written letters, i have done everything; maybe im pushing to hard, hence the resistance? I’m living in a place im not from and making a lot of sacrafices just to be with her. I met her in college and stayed in this town the whole time waiting for things to slow down so that we could get married. Now i’m all alone and i’m waiting to see of things are going to pan out. She is no doubt the love of my life and im in a miserable heartache, i mean its BAD. Is is possible she is just seeking validation before we tied the knot, or am i in denial that she’s gone? Family and friends have advised me to move on and get out of dodge but my heart doesn’t want to give up. It’s evident that it doesn’t look good for me, but is there any hope? When we have had converstations prior to my cold turkey cut(as of this week), she has NOT been able to look me in the eye and say shes gone forever; and she still can't say it. She said she will inform me if the relationship becomes exclusive. She has told me to move on stricly on the premises of what she sees as my best interests, however, my best interests are waiting on this woman. She is amazing, despite the fact that she's cut my heart up pretty bad. While i dated some prior, im newly 24 years of age and was with her for 6 full years, all through college. We were eachothers first and only. The only information i have on the gentleman she is with is that he is to full 10 years older (33) and works close to her 40 mins away from where we live. It has been over a month and a half now, What’s the best thing for me to do? I've already tried dating, 'doing things for myself' ect ect ect..not working, only making things worse. Are there any women who know what she may be doing/ thinking? Should i contact to keep from being "out of sight, out of mind", or do i apply the "no contact" rule? I'll take any help, I appreciate anyone who has taken the time to read this. I am praying for a miracle. Clay M.
JaggedRoad Posted November 2, 2009 Posted November 2, 2009 You may have to move on for the sake of your own sanity. It seems like her feelings for this guy started a long time ago and she was just waiting for an opportunity to break up with you. It's kind of cowardly to do it in such a rush if you ask me.
LostInLA Posted November 2, 2009 Posted November 2, 2009 Sorry to say but it sounds like it's over. She met someone new and is moving on. She probably can't deal with the guilt and is avoiding you. And the harder you try, the more you push her away. It's probably best to accept that it's over and start the grieving process. It's going to be hard but you will survive, and you are young...you have so much ahead of you! She's just a girl...there really are plenty of fish in the sea, remember this! Avoid contact with her, get rid of things that remind you of her and start the healing process.
Printer Posted November 2, 2009 Posted November 2, 2009 Hi ClayM I'm with you on this one. I have been with my wife for 24 years, married 17. We have a 13 year old boy. She finally moved out 6 weeks ago and I'm finding it really hard, it has been going on for 9 months now. I really want her back, so as of today I'm applying limited contact, due to having my son in a hope that it might help our situation. NC is the right move for you at this stage. She won't forget about you and you special times together. You are both still very young and this could be just infactuation and could fizzle out soon. So hold on, don't pressure her in any way and try and carry on doing what you are doing. Good luck
Author ClayM Posted November 2, 2009 Author Posted November 2, 2009 Thanks for the comments thus far. I'm all ears, keep em reeling. I can't even sleep because of this..Im just miserable.
Author ClayM Posted November 4, 2009 Author Posted November 4, 2009 Hey Printer, thanks for the story. Good luck to you too! Well, i have to say this is strange. After my last post a few days ago, just tonight she came over and watched a movie with me. She was showing a lot of affection and as i was letting her go home, she was balling. What does this mean?
tryagaintoday Posted November 4, 2009 Posted November 4, 2009 very very similiar to my situation 2 mths back. i am a musician as well. she left for her 33 year old co-worker that she was having an ea for some time. yesterday, i could have type some brave words to you. but not today. i'm real ****ed. i wish i could type something to help you or what not, but i can't. i need help myself as well. i need to help myself as well. you do too...take care.
AliveAndKicking Posted November 4, 2009 Posted November 4, 2009 Aw man my heart aches for you guys... I'll spare you my backstory. Let it suffice to say that I've recently gone through similar circumstances. As I said- I'll spare you- just trust that I know each and every one of the feelings you're experiencing and the thoughts you are thinking VERY well. Go. Leave. Now. You deserve FAR BETTER than to be used and abused. Your dignity is FAR more valuable that any so-called "love" she can ever or will ever give to you. I'm sorry you're in such great pain right now. It is up to you to stop it and you can. LEAVE and do not look back. You know it in the that secret place inside of you. You know it in your gut. Your gut doesn't lie. Your head does and your heart? Your heart? Pfffffft that is just hormones and chemicals that make you want to mate with the female of the species. Your gut knows and therefore YOU know: It is time to go. You deserve FAR better than to played, strung along, used, and abused. Save your dignity because SHE will not. She will not spare one iota of your dignity. She will use up every ounce of decency in you while she looks you in the eyes, lies through her teeth, and later lays down with some other guy. Gather your things and leave and don't look back. There are lliterally millions of amazing partners out there for you that will treat you like a king and worship the ground you walk on. And you'll treat her the same way. No one will cheat, no one will lie, and you will feed each others strengths and build one anothers dignity. You will enhance each others worlds not detract from each other. You will grow together rather than apart. Know this: Love does not lie, cheat, and abuse. Get out, spare yourself further pain and indignity. Suck it up, face your pain and fear, and move forward alone. You'll get through it. There will be HUGE pain but through it you will grow. Don't waste another moment of your life on someone who does not respect you, honor you, and enhance the world you live it. Leave now and do not look back. I now return you to your regulary scheduled heartache... *click*
Author ClayM Posted November 4, 2009 Author Posted November 4, 2009 wow...inspiring. Im just saving my money right now. Then im out.
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