DiDi123 Posted November 8, 2009 Posted November 8, 2009 jj- there you go again, lol giving really good advice. Oy! "YOU would give up everything for "us" but he is not willing to do the same. Its a very uneven relationship and its the trap many OWs fall into (I know I did) You stride ahead blindly doing everything possible for the greater benefit of "us" He strides ahead purposefully doing everything he needs to do to juggle you and his family. You are only stuck until you are ready to make a move" This is exactly how I am except I didn't realize it until I read it here.
crystal_lostheart Posted November 8, 2009 Posted November 8, 2009 GRRRRR..... I know, the title says it all. I made the decicion to BE the OW, but dammit, I am really getting tired of playing by his rules. Stand up for yourself....It is that easy and you WILL feel better for doing it. I did and he left his W but at that stage I didn't give a s**t what he did.... I only cared about looking after myself for once....and although we are together and things are promising, I still put me first, never him again... and the reason I do this is because now I know I will be ok if anything should happen. I can survive without him and happily on my own if I have to.
Author MizzBlue72 Posted November 9, 2009 Author Posted November 9, 2009 I agree with everything you guys are saying! For some reason, I feel like I lost myself when I started the A with the MM. I am ready to have him make a decision already, and I honestly don't know at this moment what he would pick - but the waiting is killing me. I'm almost to the point that I don't care which one he chooses - just PICK one!!! And yes - this is an incredibly lopsided relationship where I put WAY too much effort into 'us'. I think it's time I put more time into 'me' and say tata for now ....
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