rocketeer Posted November 2, 2009 Posted November 2, 2009 (edited) seeing this guy for a year, i've never had vaginal sex and when he tries to enter me, it's painful. he's extremely pissed about it; it is one of the sole reasons we argue. what should i do? Edited November 2, 2009 by rocketeer
aerogurl87 Posted November 2, 2009 Posted November 2, 2009 Don't have sex with him, especially if it's your first time with vaginal. Have sex with a guy who will take his time and try to make it as comfortable as possible (although it usually does hurt the first time, did for me). But if he's not patient and willing to go slow with it, then he's not worth it.
Author rocketeer Posted November 2, 2009 Author Posted November 2, 2009 we're engaged now. he feels like he has given me plenty of time to get over my uncomfortableness. i'm a really horny person; i just can't stand the pain of entry.
Author rocketeer Posted November 2, 2009 Author Posted November 2, 2009 im 27, so its a little late for you're still young...
aerogurl87 Posted November 2, 2009 Posted November 2, 2009 Well if you're engaged and you've been trying to have sex for awhile, then I can see how he would get frustrated. Try adding some lube next time before he enters you and see if that helps. Also try to be as relaxed as possible when you do have sex, that helps a great deal. But if he's 27 then he should know a little something about how to make a woman comfortable sexually. He should especially know how to put you at the most ease (ex. not yelling at you when you're trying to have intercourse) but that's just me. Any major problems in the relationship?
Johnny M Posted November 2, 2009 Posted November 2, 2009 seeing this guy for a year, i've never had vaginal sex and when he tries to enter me, it's painful. Ummm, that's pretty normal and just something you need to deal with.
bac Posted November 2, 2009 Posted November 2, 2009 IMO If you want to get rid of virginity, you should accept that it could be very painful. It is normal to experience a lot of pain. In addition, many have a lot of bleeding. If you have a lot of bleeding next days after that , you may need to see a doctor to stop bleeding.
Author rocketeer Posted November 2, 2009 Author Posted November 2, 2009 thanks, we've tried lube but i just tense up. i can understand his frustration too, he had great sex with his previous gf. he says it was one of the reasons they stayed together so long even though they fought alot. he has made it clear he's really concerned about us because we havent had sex
Johnny M Posted November 2, 2009 Posted November 2, 2009 On a side note, this thread should be a lesson to all the guys out there who are dumb enough to date a woman who wants to wait until marriage/engagement/whatever. Not only will she force you to wait and wait and wait....but in the end, it won't be worth the wait cause she'll either turn out to be terrible in bed or not into sex at all will come up with some ridiculous excuse like "ooooh, the first time is too painful, maybe we should wait another couple of years for me to get comfortable".
Author rocketeer Posted November 2, 2009 Author Posted November 2, 2009 johnny m - i expect the pain and i'm confident we'll have great sex. and i admit it has taken me longer than i even wanted to get there.
aerogurl87 Posted November 2, 2009 Posted November 2, 2009 Haha so mean Johnny M, but OP look you're gonna have to get through the first time if you wanna get to mind blowing orgasms and the like. My first 2 times were horrible because it hurt really bad and although my bf took his time, it still hurt. After that it was smooth sailing though and according to my ex I turned into a borderline nympho, lol. So hate to sound blunt, but it seems like he's done what he could do to make it less painful, so you're gonna have to just suck it up and take one for the team.
johan Posted November 2, 2009 Posted November 2, 2009 On a side note, this thread should be a lesson to all the guys out there who are dumb enough to date a woman who wants to wait until marriage/engagement/whatever. Not only will she force you to wait and wait and wait....but in the end, it won't be worth the wait cause she'll either turn out to be terrible in bed or not into sex at all will come up with some ridiculous excuse like "ooooh, the first time is too painful, maybe we should wait another couple of years for me to get comfortable". What are you dumb enough to fall for? Obviously an unoccupied soapbox is something you can't resist.
Johnny M Posted November 2, 2009 Posted November 2, 2009 What are you dumb enough to fall for? Obviously an unoccupied soapbox is something you can't resist. Hmmm, you sound a little bitter. Are you one of those "patiently waiting" guys? How's them blue balls working out for you?
Author rocketeer Posted November 2, 2009 Author Posted November 2, 2009 thanks aerogurl; i'm thinking i should get my bf some earplugs so he doesn't stop when i yell
jw90063 Posted November 2, 2009 Posted November 2, 2009 seeing this guy for a year, i've never had vaginal sex and when he tries to enter me, it's painful. he's extremely pissed about it; it is one of the sole reasons we argue. what should i do? I can see him being frustrated and upset in general, but being "extremely pissed off", doesn't sound too good. Him getting that upset, and you knowing this isn't going to help you relax.
Author rocketeer Posted November 2, 2009 Author Posted November 2, 2009 i know jw90063, the pressure doesn't help me relax, but any suggestions on how to deal with it?
Johnny M Posted November 2, 2009 Posted November 2, 2009 Rocketeer, I hate to sound crass, but have you considered buying a dildo? Seriously, if the two of you can't do it as a team, maybe you should take things into your own hands (no pun intended).
jw90063 Posted November 2, 2009 Posted November 2, 2009 i know jw90063, the pressure doesn't help me relax, but any suggestions on how to deal with it? How many times have you actually attempted to have vaginal sex? It is normal to hurt at first, but after a while that should ease it.
JustLooking123 Posted November 2, 2009 Posted November 2, 2009 When he gets "extremely pissed off," how does he show it? Does he yell at you or make you feel bad? Unfortunately, the first time is painful for many women. It gets much easier with practice .
Author rocketeer Posted November 2, 2009 Author Posted November 2, 2009 jw - a handful of tries. he doesnt continue as soon as i yell. and im usually dry. johnny - im currently using a toothbrush to make the area less sensitive.
Author rocketeer Posted November 2, 2009 Author Posted November 2, 2009 justlooking123 - i do feel bad, but i also understand his frustration. i really love him and am upset that this is even an issue.
aerogurl87 Posted November 2, 2009 Posted November 2, 2009 jw - a handful of tries. he doesnt continue as soon as i yell. and im usually dry. johnny - im currently using a toothbrush to make the area less sensitive. A toothbrush.... And if he yells tell him that he can keep on yelling, it's not gonna help get him laid any quicker.
johan Posted November 2, 2009 Posted November 2, 2009 Hmmm, you sound a little bitter. Are you one of those "patiently waiting" guys? How's them blue balls working out for you? I'm just "impatiently waiting" for you to post something intelligent or helpful on this thread. If not that, something amusing would be ok. Any time now...
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