ctm730 Posted November 2, 2009 Posted November 2, 2009 (edited) a couple weeks ago my girlfriend broke up with me without any prior signs. in fact just days before the break up we had one of our regular check-ins to see where we were at. everything was fine. she broke up because she has a lot going on and feels she isnt ready to be in a relationship. ill get to what she said in a minute. a little background. we live almost an hour a part. we dated for aprox. 5 months and became serious shortly into the relationship spending most every weekend together and at times an evening during the week. too soon and too fast, in my opinion. our lines of communication were great. we talked about anything and everything, good and bad. she shared with me early on that she was fearful of relationships because of previous bad relationships. if fact, she told me that at one time that she questioned whether or not we could work?? at the time she asked that I help her thru that if it should be an issue. after a couple months she met my family and i met hers. both sides hit it off. love, in love were expressed often. in fact we talked about where we saw "us" in the future and that was very positive. what she has going on... issues with her out of the area young adult children that she visits often, financial stress due to reduced work hours, lack of me time and upcoming continued education classes. to me, most of these reasons support why you want to be in a relationship, yes?? when she broke things off i was certainly confused as to why. i wanted to know why we went from mach speed to nothing. needless to say that made her upset. she said she didnt want to hear from me in a month or 6 months, however maybe in a year??? after telling me her reasons i thanked her for the time we had and that i honor her decision. all we needed to do to wrap things up was to exchange our things. about a week later, on a monday evening, we planned to meet to exchange our things. on that morning i received a text saying "goodmorning ... hope this finds you well and i hope your weekend was a good one. my weekend was busy and it looks like my week is going to be busy too:( was wondering if we can meet one night next week." i responded, "weekend was good. sure, let me know." two nights later she texted me "thinking of you and wanted to say “hi”... hope you and the boys are doing well :)" what to think?? the next morning i responded "goodmorning...thanks, i appreciate the thought. hope youre doing well too. the boys and i are doing good. hope ur having a good week. have a great day ;)" a couple days later i text her that i was thinking of her... not even two minutes later she calls me. we spoke briefly because i needed to go. i never expected her to call. during our conversation she told me she thinks of me and my family often and to tell them hi. she also shared with me some of her family going ons?? i can only suspect that it is a commitment issue-- as for anything else... i wouldnt know... she told me many times we are a perfect fit, a perfect match, i miss you and am thinking of you. after reading this info is there a woman out there that could explain why after breaking up with me 1. why she has delayed exchanging our things and 2. why make the comments she has made, especially after telling me she didnt want me to call her anytime soon?? i do love her and would want to seek a fresh start if possible, that is why i am seeking a womans perspective on it. [FONT=Calibri][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][/FONT] Edited November 2, 2009 by ctm730
xpaperxcutx Posted November 2, 2009 Posted November 2, 2009 When people break up yet they don't cut all ties, they're using their " exes" as safety nets. A sort of " I don't want to be with you, but I want you think of me as your world" sort of thing. They're acting on selfish motives and it's unfair for the dumpee. The thing is, if an ex said they want alone time, most of the time they don't want to be in an relationship with you. But they like the company of people who still holds feelings for them. That is why NC is important. If she has made her decision clear that she doesn't want to be with you now, then you have to draw a line about not being in contact with her. You still have feelings for her which are not reciprocated and being in contact with her just makes it harder for you to focus on yourself and move on.
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