now what????

[Heather1]

I lasted 764 hours w/ NC, which is about 33 days. It's my b-day, & he sent an email this morning just saying 'Happy birthday." I replied, about an hour later, "thanks for thinking of me."

The reason why I initiated NC is that he didn't want the A, and I couldn't be friends. Since then, I really moved along w/ my M & have been totally there for my kids. I let him go, and he didn't get ahold of me the whole time either. He didn't even send a reply when I said I was done & it was too hard, over a month ago.

Then this....what's going to happen? Was that just a nice gesture out of obligation? I've always been the one to cave & break NC.

[Fallen Angel]

I lasted 764 hours w/ NC, which is about 33 days. It's my b-day, & he sent an email this morning just saying 'Happy birthday." I replied, about an hour later, "thanks for thinking of me."

The reason why I initiated NC is that he didn't want the A, and I couldn't be friends. Since then, I really moved along w/ my M & have been totally there for my kids. I let him go, and he didn't get ahold of me the whole time either. He didn't even send a reply when I said I was done & it was too hard, over a month ago.

Then this....what's going to happen? Was that just a nice gesture out of obligation? I've always been the one to cave & break NC.

 

Don't beat yourself up. You had a little slip, that is all, just don't take this as an opportunity to start talking again (the whole, well i already had one drink so I might as well have another thing..)

 

He thought about you on your special day, you thanked him. It was nice of you both, enjoy knowing that you made enough of an impression on his heart that he still remembered, and go back to working on your marriage. Remember why you went NC in the first place. To heal you.

[jwi71]

FA is right...you slipped. Now back to NC.

 

For him...he was fishing...to see if he could reel you back in. He knew it was your birthday and also knew that the email would get a response.

 

His hope, more A. And your birthday was the ticket. He is manipulating your emotions.

 

Block his email, block his numbers, tell your H of the contact and move on.

 

JW

[Heather1]

Thank you both. I did tell my H & I'm just glad that's all I wrote instead of saying I missed him (which I do) and asked him "what now?" It's better I make an ass of myself on here, then to ever tell him how much that meant to me or to let him know how I feel anymore. I hope that was just a nice, once a year gesture. I did really appreciate it.

[mybrowneyedgirl]

my first thought was that he was just saying happy birthday. hopefully thats all it will be. and i know for a brief second your heart started to flutter. but then your mind kicked in and you did the right thing. Good job!

[xpaperxcutx]

Even if he did write to congratulate you, I do think getting back to NC is your best option. Only this time make sure your NC is fool proof and he has no way of contacting you again. That means changing numbers and blocking emails.

 

Stick to your convictions.

[jj33]

What if he was just thinking of you and wanted to wish you a happy birthday? What if he still doesnt want the A.

 

You still go back to NC. Why not believe the best of soemone you cared about. That he wanted to wish you a happy birthday. No hidden agenda... And now he did that, you thanked him and its time to stop communicating again until he sends you an email next year...

[LucreziaBorgia]

Think of it this way: take the context out of the words. After 33 days of being without you, all he had for you was two words. Two. Little. Words. Not even good ones! Just generic ones you'd send to anyone.

 

Seriously, unless those words are 'I've changed my mind, I got a divorce, I have my own place and I want to be with you' then your best bet is 'no contact'. You have to let your heart and head heal and unfortunately, these two lame words were like an axe to the head - it opened you right back up to pain.

[ladydesigner]

you have to let your heart and head heal and unfortunately, these two lame words were like an axe to the head - it opened you right back up to pain.

 

God isn't this the truth. I hate when they fish...I just hate it.

 

Keep NC don't let him back in!

[Devil Inside]

Sounds like you handled it well. I know that it would set me back a bit if I were to hear from my xAP after all this time.

[Heather1]

I didn't mention that he said "sweetheart" in the email....so it was 3 words, that was it.

 

I didn't want either of us to get divorced, I made no demands. I enjoyed being his lover & friend, it made my life kind of have some hope. I know I was in fantasy land.

 

I feel back to square one emotionally again. I've hardly cried all month, and now I'm reeling & confused again. Especially since it was only 3 words, I replied, and then nothing else. I haven't sent anything either, thank God! I'm actually more confused than ever now with my stupid scenerios that women go through.

 

1. it was just a stupid email.

2. he wants me to cave & be pathetic & he then says we need to be friends but he just wanted to wish me a happy birthday.

3. (the rest are fantasies of course) He's thought about it, and wants back in my life on the terms we agreed on from the beginning.

4. He's going to surprise me with a long term mistress proposal for as long as we both make eachother happy.

 

Whatever it is, I'm not going to ask & if he doesn't send anything besides that, I'll never know. I'm not the one that wanted out, but I can't do the friend thing....not now.

[Heather1]

ps, I can't seem to delete the darn thing either! I stare at it on my phone trying to read between the 3 lines! Everything else has been deleted & long gone, I've kept nothing.