Cinderella7 Posted November 1, 2009 Posted November 1, 2009 Hi everyone, it's my first post here, so bear with me... Just curious if there's any truth to that whole theory that guys don't approach certain girls because they are intimidated by them. I find that when I'm out, I notice guys checking me out pretty regularly, but very very rarely does one actually approach me. I don't want to brag or really bring looks into it at all, but for the sake of my question, I'm a pretty attractive girl and I keep myself in great shape. I'm newly single, after ending a 5 year relationship 4 months ago. I'm also young (21), so I don't have a lot of dating experience, and I have even less experience being "on the market". I know I could probably solve this issue by approaching said guys who are checking me out, but pretty girls can be insecure too. I'm so not used to being on the market, and as bizarre as this may sound, I've only recently started to realize that most people find me very attractive. So I still have a lot of moments of, "Woah...is that guy really checking me out? Maybe...really? I think so..." Needless to say, I'm shy. I'm working on it, but I'm still a little too shy to make the first move. Any thoughts on whether or not this may be true or advice on how to make myself more approachable to guys is really appreciated.
xpaperxcutx Posted November 1, 2009 Posted November 1, 2009 Yes, some guys are intimidated by attractive women. Some wouldn't mind, if they're mentally prepared for rejection. I think it also has to do with time and place as well. Men can check out women in the office, but it doesn't mean they would go up to a co worker or a client and ask them out. Most of the time, guys look for signals. If they see you smile at them or slightly flirt with them, they see it as an okay sign to approach for introductions.
carhill Posted November 1, 2009 Posted November 1, 2009 OP, no need to make first moves. The key is having an approachable aura. Your thoughts, body language and expressions speak volumes here. Practice it in front of a mirror. Think positive thoughts about how great it would be to meet and get to know new people. Watch your body and facial expressions as you do it. Imagine a man approaching you. Do you look like someone he'd find approachable? I'm not talking about the T&A part, but how you project yourself. Try it and let us know how it works out. I've been practicing this for about a year now when I travel and it's helped me make many new acquaintances of both genders. Good luck
Johnny M Posted November 2, 2009 Posted November 2, 2009 Hi everyone, it's my first post here, so bear with me... Just curious if there's any truth to that whole theory that guys don't approach certain girls because they are intimidated by them. I find that when I'm out, I notice guys checking me out pretty regularly, but very very rarely does one actually approach me. I don't know if intimidation is the right word, but it's true that many guys will avoid hitting on women who look "unapproachable". Being unapproachable is not just about good looks (although they play apart); it's also about the attitude. Many pretty girls walk around with this "mildly annoyed at the world" expression on their face, which men usually interpret as "I get hit on all day, so don't even bother".
Author Cinderella7 Posted November 2, 2009 Author Posted November 2, 2009 OP, no need to make first moves. The key is having an approachable aura. Your thoughts, body language and expressions speak volumes here. Practice it in front of a mirror. Think positive thoughts about how great it would be to meet and get to know new people. Watch your body and facial expressions as you do it. Imagine a man approaching you. Do you look like someone he'd find approachable? I'm not talking about the T&A part, but how you project yourself. Try it and let us know how it works out. I've been practicing this for about a year now when I travel and it's helped me make many new acquaintances of both genders. Good luck That's a great suggestion, thank you! I'm definitely going to try out this strategy and will report back.
Author Cinderella7 Posted November 2, 2009 Author Posted November 2, 2009 Many pretty girls walk around with this "mildly annoyed at the world" expression on their face, which men usually interpret as "I get hit on all day, so don't even bother". You're probably right. In my case, it's more like I'm lost in my own thoughts than a "don't bother" (otherwise, I wouldn't have posted this), but I can see how that can be interpreted as such.
TaleSpin Posted November 2, 2009 Posted November 2, 2009 I agree that it's mostly about seeming approachable. I've gone to a bar in a noticeably bad mood before and had not a single person talk to me. I've been to the same bar on a different night-- happy, smiling, making eye contact, etc. -- and had a dozen guys come up to me. They need to know you're possibly interested before they go out on a limb and approach you.
SoulSearch_CO Posted November 2, 2009 Posted November 2, 2009 OP, no need to make first moves. The key is having an approachable aura. Your thoughts, body language and expressions speak volumes here. Practice it in front of a mirror. Think positive thoughts about how great it would be to meet and get to know new people. Watch your body and facial expressions as you do it. Imagine a man approaching you. Do you look like someone he'd find approachable? I'm not talking about the T&A part, but how you project yourself. Try it and let us know how it works out. I've been practicing this for about a year now when I travel and it's helped me make many new acquaintances of both genders. Good luck Totally agree with this. Didn't even realize I was thinking, "WTF are you looking at" in some situations. Male friend brought it to my attention. Trust me, it makes more of a difference than you know.
Dark_of_the_Moon Posted November 2, 2009 Posted November 2, 2009 Yes, I agree with this thread. I just had it brought to my attention (also by a male friend). Right now I am giving off a 'Don't even think about it' air without even realizing it. He pointed out, it doesnt matter how good I look, no man is brave enough to take this challenge. So, I think it is more about approachability than anything.
Author Cinderella7 Posted November 2, 2009 Author Posted November 2, 2009 Looks like there's a lot of truth to this "approachability aura". I'm definitely going to work on this. I probably do give off a "Don't even think about it" vibe without even realizing it - it's more me going through that mental dialog of "OMG, someone's checking me out? Really?" Haha.
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