meeeeyah0917 Posted November 1, 2009 Posted November 1, 2009 My boyfriend of 2+ years was loving, very caring and thoughtful. Just two days ago, I felt that something was wrong so I asked him if something was wrong and if he’d like to talk. And we did. I wish I never asked. He said that he needed time to find himself, what he wants, who he is and he can’t do it with me. He said that he’ll keep in touch every now and then when the time comes but wants to do it alone. I am hurt beyond belief and have begged him to stay for now before we both leave university at the end of the year, this December. After that, he’ll be off. I’m so confused because he said he loves me and only me but he’s unsure if things might change after and if we’ll still even be together. I don’t know what to do. I’m trying to stop breaking down every few minutes and trying to keep it strong. He hasn’t reassured me in any way but has only told me that he loves me. No talks about the future, no hopes. Nothing. Before, he would comfort me and remind me that we have forever together. Now, it feels as if its all gone. I don’t know what to do.
aerogurl87 Posted November 1, 2009 Posted November 1, 2009 First off how old are you two? Also this is usually a cop out way of saying "I want to see other people".
xpaperxcutx Posted November 1, 2009 Posted November 1, 2009 In summary, he is telling you " hey, I want to see what else is out there and you're keeping me tied down. I still love you of course that is if I don't find anyone else. So please, keep in contact, because you're my safety net". It's pretty selfish of him. It's no different than hearing him say " Let's take a break".
Lakeside_runner Posted November 2, 2009 Posted November 2, 2009 Uhmm... If you care for him, make him see a specialist... some brain tumors provoke irrational behaviour... and that just sounds like a really advanced case.
aerogurl87 Posted November 2, 2009 Posted November 2, 2009 Oh and let me add, don't fall for that "wait for me please" crap. If he leaves and pursues other possibilities out there, do the same. Don't wait for anybody and become someone else's fool because 9.5 times out of 10 you'll be highly disappointed for wasting your time waiting for something that will never happen.
BookerT Posted November 2, 2009 Posted November 2, 2009 Agree with the others. He just wants to see other people. You better not cling on or you'll just be wasting your time. If he comes back you have an option to kick him to the curb as well.
2sunny Posted November 2, 2009 Posted November 2, 2009 what a wimpy - passive aggressive way of telling you it's over. he's a coward. you can tell him i said that too!
SoulSearch_CO Posted November 2, 2009 Posted November 2, 2009 what a wimpy - passive aggressive way of telling you it's over. he's a coward. you can tell him i said that too! No kidding. I 1+ this comment. I'd be pissed that after 2 years, that's all he has to offer. I think with how you're hurting, NC might be the best option. Otherwise, every/anytime he contacts you, it's going to get your hopes up, your heart beating, your head confused. He doesn't have the balls to make this a definitive end - I'd help his ass along.
Author meeeeyah0917 Posted November 2, 2009 Author Posted November 2, 2009 thanks so much for all your comments. you all have no idea how much this means to me. we just talked awhile ago and I've helped him along by making it official. we're flatmates though so its making it really hard. i hope im strong enough to get through this without begging him to stay so that I don't just prolong the inevitable. it just sucks to know that after all the time together, after all we've been through, I was just so easily tossed aside - he hasn't even showed any sadness or anything while im pretty much breaking down every five minutes. but i just have to wait for time to heal this. hopefully, it's fast enough. again, thank you soooo much!!! aerogurl: we're 21 years old.
aerogurl87 Posted November 2, 2009 Posted November 2, 2009 thanks so much for all your comments. you all have no idea how much this means to me. we just talked awhile ago and I've helped him along by making it official. we're flatmates though so its making it really hard. i hope im strong enough to get through this without begging him to stay so that I don't just prolong the inevitable. it just sucks to know that after all the time together, after all we've been through, I was just so easily tossed aside - he hasn't even showed any sadness or anything while im pretty much breaking down every five minutes. but i just have to wait for time to heal this. hopefully, it's fast enough. again, thank you soooo much!!! aerogurl: we're 21 years old. Ahh so he's 21. I'm going to assume this is a mixture of him being a wuss and he wants to actually go out and date others and is afraid of being tied down at such an early age. This is a legitimate fear for most young guys especially when they see their friends going out and dating around and they are stuck playing house at such a young age. I'm not saying it's right, but it does happen. But also as I said before, move on with your life and find someone who is willing to have a good relationship with you instead of settling for Mr. Let me play the field while you wait for me.
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