MN randomguy Posted November 1, 2009 Posted November 1, 2009 So, First a little about me. I'm 30 Male, haven't dated a whole lot. Esteem Issues, other stuff that I've had to work through. Looking for a long-term girl. I've gone on three dates with someone. We should be compatible. On a scale of 1 to 10 she's a 6 or 7 looks-wise. No kids or exceptionally dark past. I should be happy to date her, but, I'm not excited about her for some reason. I used to have passionate infatuations. I've never been successful in pursuing any of these infatuations. Now, I don't have them, I can date more effectively. But, don't feel really excited about anyone I date. I don't know if its the fact that for the first time in my life I finally believe that there will be other chances. Should I hang-on and hope it will grow into something, or am I kidding myself?
aerogurl87 Posted November 1, 2009 Posted November 1, 2009 So, First a little about me. I'm 30 Male, haven't dated a whole lot. Esteem Issues, other stuff that I've had to work through. Looking for a long-term girl. I've gone on three dates with someone. We should be compatible. On a scale of 1 to 10 she's a 6 or 7 looks-wise. No kids or exceptionally dark past. I should be happy to date her, but, I'm not excited about her for some reason. I used to have passionate infatuations. I've never been successful in pursuing any of these infatuations. Now, I don't have them, I can date more effectively. But, don't feel really excited about anyone I date. I don't know if its the fact that for the first time in my life I finally believe that there will be other chances. Should I hang-on and hope it will grow into something, or am I kidding myself? Hang on I'd say because you never know, you could be on to something great here. I had the same problem with my boyfriend from time to time, everything is easy and chill when we're together. There's a spark between us, but there's not that all consuming infatuation of where I think he's a Greek god or something. But so far, he's been the best boyfriend I've ever had and I couldn't be happier with him. So give her a chance because you never know.... And remember "happily ever after" is not real love. It's just an illusion, but once you can see through that illusion, you can see the beauty of what true love is. Compromise, friendship, and loyalty.
xpaperxcutx Posted November 1, 2009 Posted November 1, 2009 People rush into relationships expecting to feel that rush similar to endorphins you get from the gym. But that's a misconception. While the infatuation stage is very common, it does not mean it happens to everyone. It seems like you're expecting to feel the excitement associated with falling in love.
Thornton Posted November 1, 2009 Posted November 1, 2009 You say that you "should" be compatible, but in reality there's no spark between you. She looks nice, has no kids, no skeletons in her closet... she ticks all the boxes, but she lacks that indefinable *something* that makes you attracted to someone. I suggest that you give her a chance, get to know her better and see if something develops between you, but if that chemistry doesn't grow between you then you're probably wasting your time. People are individuals, not lists of features, and finding someone who has certain features is no guarantee that you will find them attractive. I think you're focused too much on this list of features and less on your connection with the individual in question.
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