jw90063 Posted November 1, 2009 Posted November 1, 2009 I'm sick of finding out everyone I know is married or has kids. I see people I know online and most all of them are married and many have kids. Some of these people are even younger than me. It seems like its a fad or something to hurry up and get married. While this is probably the average age to settle down, I can't imagine already having children or more than one. I know this one girl who already has 3 kids, at least 7 years old or so. It makes no sense to me. I actually thought I read, now days its better to wait to get married in early 30's. It seems everyone is in some big rush. I'm sick of everyone on Facebook and Myspace showing off their pics. Is it me, or does anyone else notice how people use their newborns pictures or kids pictures has the default on Facebook and Myspace? I don't think they realize anyone online can view this. I think its just to get attention. It feels like everyone I went to high school with his either married or has kids. A couple of people, just last year were single, have already settled down in just a year. How in the heck do you meet someone that fast and get married? I wonder if they are doing it mainly because everyone else is. Are these people really that lucky to find the person to spend the REST of their lives with? I sometimes wonder if they pick anyone just to get married. Maybe I'm too picky, but come on. Of course, there are still some people who have not settled down. I see a lot of people my age or older who are single, never been married etc. They seem to go out, have fun. I think that is the more normal thing to do. It just seems like so many people are already married with kids. What do you think is a good age to get married and have kids?What age did you get married and have your first child? What do you think about this issue. Just want to see what others have to say.
Author jw90063 Posted November 1, 2009 Author Posted November 1, 2009 How old are you? I am 28. Most of the people I'm referring to are 26, 27 and 28.
Thornton Posted November 1, 2009 Posted November 1, 2009 I always thought that mid-20s was the time when you should be looking for a stable relationship, and late 20s was when you should get married and have kids. That way you'll be 50-ish when they fly the nest, and by the time you retire you'll probably have grandchildren to keep you occupied. Unfortunately that plan hasn't worked out for me, given that I'm 30 and still unmarried with no kids I know what you mean though - my sister is 19 and she's engaged and having her first baby, while I'm 30 and have neither of those things - it makes me feel kind of bad actually. It amazes me that some of the girls I went to school with already have 16yo kids, because they got pregnant at 14. One girl has five kids, and I don't even have one. Just because they have kids doesn't mean they're happy though, or have a stable relationship - the five kids belonging to that girl have five different fathers, and much as I love my sister I don't foresee her relationship lasting (I hope I'm proved wrong, for her sake, but I guess we'll see).
627 Posted November 1, 2009 Posted November 1, 2009 Are these people really that lucky to find the person to spend the REST of their lives with? I don't think there is A person I think you just find someone you really get along with, has a stable income/house, generous, not a woman beater(I assumed you are a woman:P), likes to have kids, does not lie, is not controling, you understand each other and just get married I think waiting is a risk, you can't really decide when to get married, like say "I want to wait till 30" if you find a good person at 20, it does not mean that they will keep coming by and you can just marry the one that comes along 10 years later my opinion is that it does not depend on the age, it just depends on if you found someone worthy
tigressA Posted November 1, 2009 Posted November 1, 2009 I can definitely understand where you're coming from with the "Where's the rush?" sentiment. Over the last year I've heard of no less than 6 people in my age group either getting married or engaged, and I'm only 22. In June I attended the wedding of a 23-yr-old friend who was with his now-wife since he was 18. With most of those people I know, they've been with their partners for at least 3 years before deciding to take the plunge, which I think is good. Personally, I would wait to get married at least until after I finish school and start a career, but if my current relationship works out I would get married sooner, like after 5 years together. I don't think that going out, being single until a certain point, etc, is necessarily the more "normal" thing to do. Maturity and wisdom come in all ages. I think it's possible to branch out while you're young and still be in a serious relationship/settle down.
aerogurl87 Posted November 1, 2009 Posted November 1, 2009 What do you think is a good age to get married and have kids?What age did you get married and have your first child? What do you think about this issue. Just want to see what others have to say. First off you sound a bit jealous, either that or extremely annoyed. Now to answer your questions. I want to never have children and to me a good age to get married is when you're ready to settle down and focus on building a life with another human being and not always being selfish and having everything be about you all the time. I'm not married but I'd like to be by 25 to be honest. I've pretty much done all I wanted to do being single and young. Sure I want to travel and see the world still, but for some reason I think that would be alot more fun doing it with my best friend that I love and plan on spending the rest of my life with. Also it doesn't bother me seeing all my friends talking about their SOs and kids on facebook. Makes me happy to see that they are growing up and are happy.
Skump Posted November 1, 2009 Posted November 1, 2009 Given the divorce rate for people married young, you may as well ask why people are in such a rush to get divorced. Personally, I think any guy who gets married before thirty is crazy.
Pink Cupcakes Posted November 1, 2009 Posted November 1, 2009 You haven't been in love. Until you do, you just won't get it.
Author jw90063 Posted November 1, 2009 Author Posted November 1, 2009 First off you sound a bit jealous, either that or extremely annoyed. Now to answer your questions. I want to never have children and to me a good age to get married is when you're ready to settle down and focus on building a life with another human being and not always being selfish and having everything be about you all the time. I'm not married but I'd like to be by 25 to be honest. I've pretty much done all I wanted to do being single and young. Sure I want to travel and see the world still, but for some reason I think that would be alot more fun doing it with my best friend that I love and plan on spending the rest of my life with. Also it doesn't bother me seeing all my friends talking about their SOs and kids on facebook. Makes me happy to see that they are growing up and are happy. Well it makes me feel a little bad, and like I'm left behind and others are already married with a family. In a way I thought I wanted that by my age, but then again I don't. At the most, maybe at least engaged by now. It is nice to enjoy things with someone you truly care for, but there is more than once person out there for you, so in a way I think why settle down now. Why not just be with someone you are happy with, and not necessarily get married. Also, I think its smart to date for more than just a year. I think a lot get married only after a year or even less. I don't see how you really know a person by then to spend rest of life with. And to "Pinkcupcakes". I'm sorry, but do you know me? I never said I haven't been in love, but that doesn't mean you have to go fly in and marry someone you are in love with. I do understand wanting to spend the rest of your life with someone you really care about, but I would say you better make sure you really know them before you go down that path. And again, what is the rush, if you are still fairly young. The only thing I worry about is missing out on having kids at an earlier age or not having them at all. Yes, "Skump", I was thinking about the divorce rate, and I bet a lot of these people who are already married will be divorced sooner or later.
aerogurl87 Posted November 1, 2009 Posted November 1, 2009 Well it makes me feel a little bad, and like I'm left behind and others are already married with a family. In a way I thought I wanted that by my age, but then again I don't. At the most, maybe at least engaged by now. It is nice to enjoy things with someone you truly care for, but there is more than once person out there for you, so in a way I think why settle down now. Why not just be with someone you are happy with, and not necessarily get married. Also, I think its smart to date for more than just a year. I think a lot get married only after a year or even less. I don't see how you really know a person by then to spend rest of life with. And to "Pinkcupcakes". I'm sorry, but do you know me? I never said I haven't been in love, but that doesn't mean you have to go fly in and marry someone you are in love with. I do understand wanting to spend the rest of your life with someone you really care about, but I would say you better make sure you really know them before you go down that path. And again, what is the rush, if you are still fairly young. The only thing I worry about is missing out on having kids at an earlier age or not having them at all. Yes, "Skump", I was thinking about the divorce rate, and I bet a lot of these people who are already married will be divorced sooner or later. Well for every rule, there are exceptions. I think if both people put enough effort into the relationship it could actually last no matter when they get married. The problem nowadays is that most people are all about "me" and don't want to compromise and therefore they just give up when the going gets rough without even trying. Granted there are some people who still try but get nowhere and then divorce, but that's becoming more and more rare nowadays.
Pink Cupcakes Posted November 2, 2009 Posted November 2, 2009 Well why worry about what other people do? Just because they have found someone they want to spend the rest of their lives with and have kids with, doesn't mean you should be mad and critical about it. Just because you haven't found "the one" yet, and feel "left out" doesn't mean you should be angry about your friends finding happiness.
Sam Spade Posted November 2, 2009 Posted November 2, 2009 While there is no rush to get married and have kids, the window of opportunity to do it is actually not that big - between 25 and 35, i'd say. A decade sounds like a long time, but given the major uncertainties in the dating proces, life events, and just how long it takes to get all the darn ducks in a row, i think some sense of urgency is warranted.
Citizen Erased Posted November 2, 2009 Posted November 2, 2009 I wouldn't say it is the majority but a lot of people I went to school with are married/have kids. It seems nuts to me, we're 22. I'll probably be the only single one at 28. Apart from the ugly ones of course.
SoulSearch_CO Posted November 2, 2009 Posted November 2, 2009 Why do you think the divorce rate is so dang high?
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