Pendles Posted November 1, 2009 Posted November 1, 2009 So it's been roughly a year since our break up. Still hurts as much as ever and still missing her heaps. I resorted to no contact for a few months and it helped me a bit. She contacted me a few times asking why i never called her and said we should speak more often. She even called me four weeks ago to go see her and i did. This is a couple days after she broke up with her new partner. Asked her if she wanted to catch up she said sure. So i sent her a text message if she wanted to do something and i didn't get a reply. It was no contact from then up until tonight when i saw her online and i politely asked how things were going with her. She pretty much gave me short answers. For example i asked hows work and she replied "yeah its OK". I didn't say a word after that and i logged off immediately. I really don't know what's going on with her. Don't know if she's playing mind games or what. She'd asked me to call her more etc, then when i do she'll give me short answers like tonight. And also her not replying to my message after saying she wanted to catch up. Really frustrates me. It's been a year and i feel like the pain won't go away. Any words of advice or some cheerful words will be greatly appreciated !!
lilbelle Posted November 2, 2009 Posted November 2, 2009 sounds like she has moved on and is just being nice and cordial.
TaleSpin Posted November 2, 2009 Posted November 2, 2009 A year is a long time. I would expect someone to have moved on, at least to some extent, after a year. It's pretty clear that she has moved on if she was seeing someone else. Maybe it's because you're still keeping in touch with her that you're not able to move on? She may just be keeping you on the line in case she doesn't find what she's looking for, but you shouldn't be waiting around biting your nails until she comes back.
Lost&Found Posted November 2, 2009 Posted November 2, 2009 If you had been going complete NC with her you wouldn't still be in pain a year later. You said you went NC for a few months and started feeling better, then she started talking to you and now you are in pain again. I think you have answered you're own question.
Author Pendles Posted November 2, 2009 Author Posted November 2, 2009 Maybe it's because you're still keeping in touch with her that you're not able to move on? I think this has a lot to do with it. I guess her calling me and telling me she wanted to speak more gave me false hope of getting back together. When i feel like i have moved on from her, I'll most likely get a call or a text from her which puts me back to square one. She did state that she wanted to remain friends because i was a big part of her life. We were together for 5 years. We grew up together. Also I haven't had any luck with other women which makes it that much harder.
Author Pendles Posted November 2, 2009 Author Posted November 2, 2009 If you had been going complete NC with her you wouldn't still be in pain a year later. You said you went NC for a few months and started feeling better, then she started talking to you and now you are in pain again. I think you have answered you're own question. Yeah i really gotta start NC again and stick it out. When she calls or texts i just gotta keep it short and sweet. Also I'm recovering from an operation which makes it harder since I'm stuck home all day.
USMCHokie Posted November 2, 2009 Posted November 2, 2009 Yeah i really gotta start NC again and stick it out. When she calls or texts i just gotta keep it short and sweet. Also I'm recovering from an operation which makes it harder since I'm stuck home all day. I don't even know if keeping it short and sweet is going to be good for you...I know you'd feel rude or mean to ignore her, especially if you've known her for so long...but you've said it yourself, everytime she calls or texts, you go back to square one...and if you keep responding to her, she'll know that she can call you anytime she wants and you'll be there...that's certainly a recipe for many many future returns to square one...not a great way to heal or get over this... This is one of those things that drives me crazy too...how someone who was such a big part of your life, and who loved you so much, was suddenly out of your life completely...no matter how long you'd known each other before...I deal with it every day myself...the NC may be temporary, it may be forever, but the one thing you have to worry about each day is that you're NC THAT DAY...take it one day at a time, without worrying about whether you'll talk to her in a month or a year or perhaps never again...one day at a time...
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