Is it right? I cheated, but it doesn't feel as wrong as it should.

[wholovesarchitecture]

I had recently began a new chapter in my life, and I met this really awesome guy. My intention was to not date for a while, stay away from the hurt and just be free and flirty. It didn't work out when I met this one. He was nice, smart, talented, and pretty cute. Only problem was that this started in September, and I had just gotten out of a horrible breakup in June. But things caught on, we got to know each other better, and I turned out really liking him. Around this same time I had been having problems with my ex-ex, and we were trying to resolve. He apologized for being a bad friend after our breakup a year ago (not the one from June). I forgave him, and I let him take some time to prove that our friendship could work out.

 

So I continued to have fun and enjoy having a boyfriend with this new guy, but then one night my friend asks if he could go over the next day to just chill and hang out. Obviously I thought that he was proving himself, and that we would have a good time as friends. Apparently not. He came and we were in my room, everything was okay until we ended up playing around... and he was on top of me on the bed. Skipping details, old flames arose and we starting kissing all over the room for about 4 hours. We also admitted to loving each other, at least that's what I felt. I knew it was wrong, and he kept talking about how he felt like a dick for kissing me, even after how he acted before. I kept telling him to shut up, he's here now and that's all that matters, right? Well, no. I was cheating. Even though I had only been with the other guy for a few weeks, I wasn't determining anything on time. But I also couldn't lie to myself, the guy I had once loved was on me! I was having my.. Hilary Duff's "A Cinderella Story" moment with him on my bed. We had never done anything like this, I felt like opening a window and screaming, "FINALLY!"

 

We were serious, and then he came over again the next week but nothing happened. We just enjoyed each other's presence and had fun. Still meanwhile, I was with my actual boyfriend and he's assuming that nothing's going wrong. Guilt consumed me, I knew I wouldn't want this done to me, and I broke up with him the following weekend. I gave him some **** excuse, that was partially true... about the not wanting to be in a relationship too quickly because of hurt and **** but nothing about the cheating. In some way, I feel relief because I got to be with my Chad Michael Murray, without worrying about Background Mr. Johnson.

 

I also felt guilty for keeping this all a secret from my close friend, so I just told her and I got a not-so-great reaction. She was annoyed, and thought that what I had done was low. I somewhat felt that way too. I knew it was wrong, I had also felt bad. But then it's like I couldn't go too well with her judgement. She's definetly less experienced than me, she says this out of her own judgement and not because anything like this has ever happened to her. Got this crappy feeling out of what I did, and thought about something stupid again. I did this because I loved someone, and liked someone. I chose the guy I loved. Even if it meant cheating. Common sense, Responsibility, and Honesty were all sitting in the back of my mind. While Love, Passion, and Lust all had a front row seat.

 

See? If Allie from that awesome movie "The Notebook" could cheat on her fiance with her past love and people give their "awww"'s why can't I do the same and be understood. Damn everything relates to romance movies.

How Should I feel?

[boogieboy]

You wouldnt feel as guilty if you didnt lie to the BF.

If you told him you met someone you thought was a better fit, you'd feel better.

[SoulSearch_CO]

Honestly - I don't think you're truly "in love" with your ex-ex that you decided to make out with in your bedroom. I think you are confused as all hell right now. It would really be in your best interest to avoid dating, period. Also might be a good idea to not have the supposed "friend" over for a little while. Let the smoke clear on your frying neural pathways so you can figure out WTH you REALLY want. You don't seem to know and somebody is going to get hurt in the process.

[SoulSearch_CO]

You wouldnt feel as guilty if you didnt lie to the BF.

If you told him you met someone you thought was a better fit, you'd feel better.

She just said she DOESN'T feel that bad about what she did - and she DID lie to the BF. LOL

[aerogurl87]

See? If Allie from that awesome movie "The Notebook" could cheat on her fiance with her past love and people give their "awww"'s why can't I do the same and be understood. Damn everything relates to romance movies.

How Should I feel?

 

Haha awesome movie but if I'm not mistaken let's remember what Noah told her when they were outside arguing. He yelled at her "what do you want" so OP what do YOU want? Do you want your boyfriend or do you want your ex flame? Either way you need to tell your BF what happened, that will help alleviate the guilt (like Allie did in the movie too). That's step number 1 and if your BF forgives you and says he still wants you, then you need to decide who do you want, make a decision, stick to it, and stop cheating.

[SoulSearch_CO]

Do you want your boyfriend or do you want your ex flame? Either way you need to tell your BF what happened, that will help alleviate the guilt (like Allie did in the movie too). That's step number 1 and if your BF forgives you and says he still wants you, then you need to decide who do you want, make a decision, stick to it, and stop cheating.

Dude - she already dumped her BF. Doesn't sound to me like she wants him. And the cheating doesn't sound like it's an ongoing thing.

[aerogurl87]

Dude - she already dumped her BF. Doesn't sound to me like she wants him. And the cheating doesn't sound like it's an ongoing thing.

 

Well problem solved, although I think she should lay off dating for a bit till she can really get her head clear.

[wholovesarchitecture]

Well problem solved, although I think she should lay off dating for a bit till she can really get her head clear.

 

this is pretty true, everything's that's been said... but i tried laying off dating already. and im single, but possibly getting back with my ex-ex. sneaky, slutty, but my confusion just leads me to wanting this.