OrangeSnack Posted November 1, 2009 Posted November 1, 2009 (edited) I was essentially reared by my mom throughout my entire life. Loved her dearly and I have a great connection with my Mom. However, I have a father but he was extremely busy and spent no time with me while I was growing up. Never showed up to any of my events or bought me a birthday present. I don't really consider myself 'fatherless," because I do see him once in a blue moon. But our relationship is dull and sometimes uncommunicative. I've heard many studies that growing up without a father-like figure can impact your self esteem. What do you guys think? Can growing up without a dad really effect your dating life style or potentially finding someone that you really like? For myself, I find it extremely difficult to get a date with ANYONE. Edited November 1, 2009 by OrangeSnack
SoulSearch_CO Posted November 1, 2009 Posted November 1, 2009 Eh. Depends on how much work you've done on your own for your self-esteem. I don't buy into it much. There are SO MANY THINGS that can affect how you date - this is just one. It'll affect you if you let it. I grew up not knowing my father until about age 11 when I hunted him down. Biggest mistake of my life. The guy is not a nice person at all. I put up with him as long as I possibly could stand it just so my mom could get child support. At age 17, I cut him out of my life. I suppose it's POSSIBLE that the circumstances could have affected my self-esteem and confidence, but I wouldn't peg it to just that - there are so many other things that were going on in my life. But I've also done a hell of a lot of work on myself. So in general - no, I wouldn't blame my lack of a father for my current dating life. I am accountable for my own choices. Seems a tad juvenile to blame your life circumstances on external events, IMO.
mushmush Posted November 1, 2009 Posted November 1, 2009 Another perspective. My father died when I was 8 so I didn't have a strong father influence when growing up. I wish I did have a male figure to give me hints on dating and growing up as it would have meant alot less trial and mostly error. Growing up I got most of my dating tips from my sister and mum and to be honest I turned out toooo much of a nice guy. Girls I did not like always came running but I always managed to scare the girls I did like away. To blame my lack of a father figure growing up would have just been a cop out. I have done some work on my dating and phone habbits but I would not change who I am as a person as I really like who I am. I've improved things here and there, gone to the gym, spent some money on some nice cloths etc.. but really I will always just be myself on dates with out playing any games as I know in the end I will attract someone who likes me for who I am. p.s my mum says im very attractive and could be a model.. lol!
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