alanaxo27 Posted October 31, 2009 Posted October 31, 2009 I just came across this forum and thought I would post something about what is going on with me right now... sorry it's long, I'm jusr really confused as what to do. I'll start from the beginning: I'm in college, and I live by myself in an apartment building, but in the same building there are 3 guys I hang out with quite a bit, I'm really good friends with 2 of them.. have been all through High School. The other I knew but wasn't close friends with. For the last couple months though I've become good friends with him, just from spending so much time with all of them. I always thought he was good looking and was a nice guy, but I never really thought of him as an option as that would probably make things wierd with all of us since we are all friends. Soo, my last boyfriend and I broke up about 4 months ago so I've enjoyed being single and I haven't been looking for a relationship.. but about a month or so ago I was at a club and I met this guy in the navy, he was really nice and we hung out that night, he got my number, texted me to meet him downtown the next night, so we did and he came back with me (no sex..), then he asked me to go out to dinner with him a couple days later. We did. It was great. He came back to my place, we fooled around a bit, but still no sex. Anyway, the next day he had to go overseas for 5 weeks. During that time we emailed back and forth and made plans to hang out when he got back. He seemed like a really good guy and I was quite interested. BUT, a couple weeks ago the guy who I mentioned (nice looking guy who I'm just friends with who lives in my building) started texting me some and seemed a bit interested.. neither of us said anything.. it was sort of an unspoken attraction. I was pretty interested.. I sort of developed a thing for him after he showed some interest. So last weekend my friend and I were at my place and we ordered pizza so I invited him to come down and have some. He did, my friend went to bed, so I was left alone with him. We ended up kissing and fooling around a little bit but nothing major, so he invited me up to his place. So I went. We didn't have sex because he didn't have a condom, but I was ok with that because I thought it might not be a good idea right away anyway. So that was that. We never really mentioned it to eachother after that, but a couuple days later I went up to their place to watch a movie. I was sitting with him on the couch and he was holding my hand and sitting close and whatnot, which I thought was a good sign since it was infront of his friends... (i was worried that maybe it was just a hookup and nothing more the other night). Anyway, the other guys went to bed and I was left with him.. one thing led to another and he ended up at my place for the night (this time we did go all the way). After that we never talked for a couple days, but then he texted me and asked me if I wanted to hang out on the weekend. So of course I did and I went up to his place to watch a movie.... but it just ended up all of us watching it like usual, so it wasn't even really a date. We did cuddle and hold hands during it though. After that I ended up in his room again and we hooked up again. That was last night/this morning. Now.. back to the navy guy I met. He got back from overseas 3 days ago and has been texting me to hang out.. I have been telling him I'm busy, because I'm more interested in the other guy than him right now. But this navy guy seems really nice and actually seems interested in me. I don't know if I should tell him I'm seeing someone.. because I don't know if what is going on with this guy is classified as seeing him. Or if I should just hang out with him. Would it be wrong to hang out with him after what happened with the other guy? I wouldn't want him to find out and then not like me anymore.. but I don't want to make the navy guy not like me, and then this guy actually only look at me as a 'friends with benefits' and nothing more, and then I lose both of them. I'm sorry this is soo long and confusing! I typed it all really fast and had a lot to say so it probably doesn't make much sense.
New Again Posted October 31, 2009 Posted October 31, 2009 Don't lie to either of them - not only will it only cause problems for all three of you, if you're not doing anything wrong, you shouldn't have to lie, right? I also don't recommend dating or sleeping with or hanging out with guys you're not interested in. I also wouldn't say you and the guy who lives in your apartment building are "dating" I would say you're screwing - friends with benefits might be another term for it.
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