Aksion Posted October 31, 2009 Posted October 31, 2009 So last night I got out for the first time since my stbxw left me, first time out single since I was 17yrs old. Great time, nice Halloween party, costume and liquor gave me the confidence to speak to women I didn't know, even got as far as ALMOST going home with one, but my head told me not too. Now for the question. Friend I was with asked me last night before the party "what would you do if you saw her (stbxw)?". Great question. We haven't seen each other since she walked. I still care, and may lose it. I say I would never take her back, but the thought of her still makes me weak. Would I be wrong if/when seeing her out somewhere to try and speak with her? Or even more so, would I be wrong asking her out? Am I supposed to avoid the situation completely even years down the road? That simple question my friend asked sparked so many questions for me. Just curious on thoughts of others.
tojaz Posted October 31, 2009 Posted October 31, 2009 Ouch Ak, your really a glutton for punishment trying to wrap your head around these things all at the same time. For right now I don't think I would actively seek her out, but I wouldn't hide from her either, just live your life. If you happen to see her somewhere, I wouldn't initiate anything, if she wants to talk, she'll let you know. DO NOT ASK HER OUT!!! Lets remember the situation here, chances would be good that you would just be setting yourself up for a fall. If you two are going to get back together, it has to be initiated by her for it to be real, shes the one with the decision to make. As for years down the road, that would be up to you and how much you can handle. TOJAZ
Author Aksion Posted October 31, 2009 Author Posted October 31, 2009 The asking her out thing was only hypothetical, I don't want to be with her at all right now in my life. As for all the questions -- I'm sure you know the feeling well yourself Tojaz. It's hard to NOT think about all these things. I'm not trying to hurt myself anymore than she has already hurt me, I just can't help these thoughts. I'm not seeking her out -- I know where she is living/working/schooling, it wouldn't be hard to find her, but I don't know how to handle a situation of by chance running into her. At times it's why I don't want to go anywhere. As for last night, heard alot of stories at work today of what went down (I was really really drunk). Was a good time. Glad I kept conciousness enough to not take that girl home though, not sure how I woulda handled that one this morning, lol.
seibert253 Posted November 1, 2009 Posted November 1, 2009 Don't know A. If I was out and about and saw my STBXW, I'd probably act like I didn't see or notice her. I definantly wouldn't approach her. If she came up to me, I'd talk to her. I'd be nice, cordual, but do my best to appear unemotional. It would be oh so hard though. I'm just passive aggressive I guess.
tojaz Posted November 1, 2009 Posted November 1, 2009 The asking her out thing was only hypothetical, I don't want to be with her at all right now in my life. As for all the questions -- I'm sure you know the feeling well yourself Tojaz. It's hard to NOT think about all these things. I'm not trying to hurt myself anymore than she has already hurt me, I just can't help these thoughts. I'm not seeking her out -- I know where she is living/working/schooling, it wouldn't be hard to find her, but I don't know how to handle a situation of by chance running into her. At times it's why I don't want to go anywhere. As for last night, heard alot of stories at work today of what went down (I was really really drunk). Was a good time. Glad I kept conciousness enough to not take that girl home though, not sure how I woulda handled that one this morning, lol. Oh, I know. I remember just sitting up some nights wishing I could turn my head off. I'm gonna stick with what said, should it come up, don't do anything unless she initiates it and until then, it's like shes not even there. (If your a little passive aggressive, make sure she sees you but still ignore her, just to get her mind workin. Playing a little dirty i know! TOJAZ
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