discord Posted October 31, 2009 Posted October 31, 2009 I broke it off with her today. I was going to sleep with another girl and I didn't think that was right. I knew that our relationship wasn't gonna last when we started. I told her we could be together just not too serious. I was sleeping with her for 2 months. I'm a loner more often than not. I really like her and care about her as a friend. She's older (34?) and has a kid who is a teenager, I'm not quite 30. I didn't cheat on her, she didn't cheat on me, but I found myself chasing other women. It wasn't gonna work. However she was great company and I had a great time with her. Ever since I knew her we didn't have a ****ty time until I broke it off today. We are both heartbroken. I want to be her friend but she made it clear for me to stay away. I just need some support somebody chime in. Physical attraction and having a kid and other issues were part of the dealbreaker... I also feel I can't get involved too seriously these days as I don't know where I will be in a year, and don't expect to drag anybody but me.
Eisenhower Posted October 31, 2009 Posted October 31, 2009 (edited) It sounds to me like you just wanted to use her as a "friend with benefits" and you're surprised that she doesn't want anything to do with you now that you broke it off to chase other girls??? What the heck do you expect? You sleep with a woman with a child for two months and don't expect her to think it's more than just sex? That's either pretty immature or pretty flaky, I'm not sure which but I don't blame her for telling you to stay away. Neither do I understand why you're heartbroken - you apparently had no intention of ever being serious with her. I don't get it. I'm sorry if you're feeling pain, but don't you imagine it's worse for her? Apparently she took this a lot more seriously than you did. Eisenhower Edited October 31, 2009 by Eisenhower
Author discord Posted October 31, 2009 Author Posted October 31, 2009 Hey we both hurt... It's really too bad I should have kept it together longer, but then it would have been harder. At least I didn't cheat on her or do something wrong. I was good to her while I was with her and we both had a good time. And I really don't need your support; I guess I'm ok. thanks for letting me know that I'm the "bad guy"
Eisenhower Posted October 31, 2009 Posted October 31, 2009 Well, it's not my nature to try to make someone feel worse, but you come on here saying that: you dumped her; you never wanted anything serious; you want to chase other girls; and that physical attraction and her having a child were "dealbreakers" ... ... but you're "hurting" because she won't now agree to be demoted to exactly what you now want - a friend. The majority of people on here got dumped and are trying to overcome that grief and abandonment. Your story just seems to strike me as the other side of the coin. Again, I just don't get it, but I'm sorry if you're in pain. Eisenhower
mundane mind Posted November 1, 2009 Posted November 1, 2009 (edited) I believe you when you say that it hurts even though it's a short relationship and you are the dumper but you have to understand that she have 10x the pain that you have right now. The best thing you can do for her is to stay away. And even if she contacts you in the next few weeks, just stay away. She will thank you in the future. This is what dating is all about. You date to get to know the person and decide whether you want to keep this somebody in your life. Sadly for the both of you, it did not work. I commend you for breaking it off before you cheat and taking the pain of losing her instead. There is no point continuing with the relationship since you have discovered some deal breakers. Sometimes, it is better to break up than be miserable in a dead end relationship. The pain will eventually go away; but if you allow yourself to be in a relationship that you don't want, you will be miserable all your life. Just be careful when you date again, there will be a lot of other girls who would like to be FWB. Do not go for girls who wants to be in serious, committed relationships if you are not ready for this. Be careful of not making it a habit to break people's heart. Remember, stay away from her. Edited November 1, 2009 by mundane mind
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