beachbum84 Posted October 31, 2009 Posted October 31, 2009 (edited) So after we did our separation, our reuniting, our MC, our trying to make it work. It just hasn't. He packed his things and moved out last night. Feeling all over the board and at times its hard to breathe. I feel relief, sadness, fear of making the wrong decision, fear that I'll never do better, or that I regret this years down the road. I fear of how I'll be able to finacially continue on w/ my wonderful daughter w/o having to take help from family or gov't assistance. Don't have a clue on what to do next. He wants to wait to file until after the holidays b/c he wants there to be enough $ to provide our daughter with a good X-mas. I see that, I feel that. But I know come Janaury he gets a student loan refund which allows him the $ to get a lawyer, and I still won't have enough $ for one. I feel lost, unloved, unwanted, angry, sad, and mostly scared. I wish we'd do mediation, but he told me he'd see me in court whether I could afford it or not. That is my issue not his. Which I get, yeah that is true. What the hell happens to make someone who once loved another turn so bitter, angry, vengeful, and hateful? Where do I go from here.?. Edited October 31, 2009 by beachbum84
Gunny376 Posted October 31, 2009 Posted October 31, 2009 I realize this is hard for you. But try and not to worry too much about the present and the future. If you have to seek assistance from DHR and family ~ then do so. That's what they're there for. That's why we pay taxes and that's why family are called family. Indeed rather than worrying about retaining a lawyer, I would be thinking about renting a U-Haul and moving back home to Michigan with your folks until you can get back on your feet, and get to where you need to be in life. You own the STBXH nothing. He's the one that refuses to work on himself, and your marriage. No one is going to fault you for doing so. But you would need to do so before he comes up with the money to retain some %$^&& lawyer. You cannot be thinking about him, his wants and needs, you've got to think about the DD and you. I could be wrong on this subject ~ but having lived all my life in Alabama he could go to court and show a porn movie with you as the lead and there's no judge in Alabama that would separate a mother from a very young DD. I don't know that you would even need a lawyer to retain full custody. When I took my XHEX back to court after retiring from the Marines, (because my gross and net income had dropped 2/3rds from what it was when I was on active duty ~ I made it up to her. When my DD graduated HS? I didn't take her back and have it lowered again. I left it the same for six years) The judge was very reluctant to do so, because not only did she not have an attorney ~ she didn't show up for the court date. I would encourage you to go down to the DHR and sign up for any and everything you can. WIC, food stamps, Section 8 the works! At least apply. There are people 'milking' the system with falsehoods, lies, deception, outright fraud. I would at least like to know that my tax dollars are going to someone truly in need. If that is the case you find yourself in? If you find yourself in such? Please, please don't let pride stand in your way. Meanwhile he's an obligation to support his DD and support her over and above just Christmas presents, (20 to 25 % of his net income ~ per Alabama law. And just because he moved out does not negate his responsibility to her. His attending college classes, having a car payment, tuition, books, whatever is pretty much negated. In Alabama they pretty much could care less is the DH has to sleep in a hollow log, eat road kill, and drink muddy water! You (the DH) has to work two jobs? So be it! Or as the local judge ruled when the DF told him the child wasn't even his? "Well you just make sure you make those child support payments each month until he begins to look a little like you! Or you'll find yourself in the jailhouse" ~ Judge Hightower ~ Pike County, Alabama
LakesideDream Posted October 31, 2009 Posted October 31, 2009 So after we did our separation, our reuniting, our MC, our trying to make it work. It just hasn't. He packed his things and moved out last night. Feeling all over the board and at times its hard to breathe. I feel relief, sadness, fear of making the wrong decision, fear that I'll never do better, or that I regret this years down the road. I fear of how I'll be able to finacially continue on w/ my wonderful daughter w/o having to take help from family or gov't assistance. Don't have a clue on what to do next. He wants to wait to file until after the holidays b/c he wants there to be enough $ to provide our daughter with a good X-mas. I see that, I feel that. But I know come Janaury he gets a student loan refund which allows him the $ to get a lawyer, and I still won't have enough $ for one. I feel lost, unloved, unwanted, angry, sad, and mostly scared. I wish we'd do mediation, but he told me he'd see me in court whether I could afford it or not. That is my issue not his. Which I get, yeah that is true. What the hell happens to make someone who once loved another turn so bitter, angry, vengeful, and hateful? Where do I go from here.?. BeachBum, I've been reading your threads and posts for awhile. I'm sorry it's not woking out for you. Listen to Gunny, he's right on the button. I'm sorry for your situation, it seems to be happening so often these days, to both sex's. It really sucks too.
Gunny376 Posted October 31, 2009 Posted October 31, 2009 I absoultely with honest convecition, wish, hope and belief That I was absougtly wrong! That's there no such thing as ture love?
Gunny376 Posted October 31, 2009 Posted October 31, 2009 Lakeside started out with "Forget we're still alive" Lakeside did the Vietnam War, Me? The Frist Gulf War~ Forget it! I'm just just glad I'm still sucking air!
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