girl18 Posted October 31, 2009 Posted October 31, 2009 my boyfriend and i were together for 1 year and then broke up for 8 months and then got back together. we have been back together for about 10 months. here is a little history on us...the first year of our relationship was crazy. we broke up and got back together every other week it seemed like. he was very jealous/insecure. we loved eachother very much but there was tons of drama. he is currently 29 (im 24) and still lives at home and that is a major issue with me. i ended up cheating on him and that is why it ended. so 8 months we were apart. i dated many other guys, got a new job, started working out again, and moved on with my life. i was happy since i spent most of our relationship upset and crying. i got over it very quickly. then out of the blue he calls me 8 months later and we met up and started slowly talking and then got back together. he is a great guy and would do anything for me. i can't even believe he would take me back after i cheated. a big problem throughout our relationship is sex. he stopped wanting it as much and this created major insecurity issues for me. currently, he has gained a ton of weight and can't even maintain an erection. he went to the doctor who says his testosterone level is so low and thats why he cant get hard. he got viagara, and that barely works. he only took it like 3 times in the course of 2 monts. he said if he works out and eats healthy again everything will be fne. the problem is, its been months and he hasnt been to the gym and has no motivation to improve the situation. the spark is dead for me, im not in love with him anymore. its just hard because he loves me so much and has been there for me through every tough situation in my life. but what do i do? i feel like we are on 2 different levels (he is soo in love with me and im not). we have been talking about moving in together but now i dont know if i want to. i kinda want to do it to see if it works out. i know its either going to make us or break us. i currently live with my parents and i think i am more excited moving out of my house, then moving in with him. its not supposed to be that way when your in love. another thing is he is very irresponsible with money which drives me crazy because i am the opposite. he tells me 10 times a day how beautiful i am and how in love with me he is. it sounds crazy but i dont want to hear it 10 times a day! he says it so much the words become meaningless. i've told him to stop so many times and he thinks i'm crazy because any girl would want to hear that. today i told him how ive been feeling and that im having second thoughts of moving in together and being together and now we aren't speaking...i felt so much better when i told him how i felt and now i feel awful like i am hurting him and im having second thoughts. maybe we can work out? i dont know......what do i do?! am i nuts?!
Lamak Posted October 31, 2009 Posted October 31, 2009 am i nuts?! Sadly, you are. Leave him as as possible. You're relationship is rather dysfunctional. If you don't love him, don't waste his or your time.
Author girl18 Posted October 31, 2009 Author Posted October 31, 2009 i do love and care for him very much. im just not in love with him...can this be fixed?
mundane mind Posted November 1, 2009 Posted November 1, 2009 I think the issue is that you are not in love with the person that he became. You need to communicate your issues with him and tell him that you are willing to help him resolve these. Relationships are all about communication. if after he has changed, and you still don't feel "in love" with him, then you have to let him go. it would be unfair to the both of you if you keep the relationship.
bluestraps Posted November 1, 2009 Posted November 1, 2009 I found this interesting. Your post is very similar to my girlfriends situation with me except I have no medical problems like your boyfriend. I have an ex . I have lived at home with my parents for some time now. Except for a time the last 3 years when I stay there for 6 months by myself. My girlfriend of 10 years cheated on me a couple times. we kept getting back togther . and now she fell for my best friend. And was with him before i knew, she told some people we broke up , which has ruined the friendship the three of us had . I dont care about that. I would take her back Ive done it before. and get rid of the friend Im being frank here ...With a few exceptions. we always made love through the years but it was always in my car at night. She sometimes would say she felt like a tramp , I always tried to reasure her. But we kept doing it. I still think she loves me in many ways , but she feels like we were in a teenage relationship She told me this many times.. She also lived at home though . And she was tired of wating for me to ask her to mary her . Which I did want to do but, the living situation and my going back to college got in the way. Now im feeling that I should have asked her, and I actualy was planning soon to ask , but she flaked on me . From your writing .. girl18.. You are saying because your boyfriend lived at home you had issues with insecurity What other feelings did this give you . Is this why my girlfriend does this? because even though she loves me, the fact of not having a sort of normal situation has just got to her so much thatshe just has enough and looks for something else. she is ready for a different life now because the new guy has a place even if he lives with with his mother. SO I dont know how thats working out.What in your experence may she be feeling
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