Mollyanna Posted October 30, 2009 Posted October 30, 2009 This is going to sound very childish but I want to contact him to see if I can get him to answer so I know if he is the one doing NC to me. It's a pride thing. I accused him of a lot of stuff last week and found out he WAS telling the truth this time and now I have pissed him off. We have went through this cycle a few times.. I write something so ridiculously mean and contact-ending and tell him I am about to block him so don't bother writing back. And THEN he will answer. After days of not answering when I am pleading and crying and begging.. BUt I don't want to do this anymore... Why can't I just let the drama go?? Does anyone else do this? It's like even fighting with him is contact at least and relieves the anxiety. I asked him a simple question regarding directions to the airport, yesterday via text and he couldn't even answer. So now I wonder if he is blocking ME. I feel like if I could be sure he was reading it or whatever, I could write a goodbye note and feel on top again and then I could go away.. Does this make any sense?
Thebob Posted October 31, 2009 Posted October 31, 2009 yes it does, stop being mean to him then, and he might respond. Most likely he is sick of your crap and is taking it that way. Im sorry for being harsh, but most likely hes manned up and got his dignity back. I'd let him be for now, then wait, then text him and if u dont get a response then stop. Thebob
Author Mollyanna Posted October 31, 2009 Author Posted October 31, 2009 I only get mean when he ignores me and then I start thinking the worst. For example, we got together last Saturday because he invited me and said he would finally tell me the truth about how he felt about me and would apologize for what he did. (getting back with his ex and not telling me, and continuing to see me too..) We had sex on Saturday... it was mutual. I thought since he was now single and I was single and lonely, it would be OK. But then 2 days later he started ignoring me. And I can't tell if it is forever (did he just want goodbye sex...). Yesterday I asked him what the name was of a show we had watched together and he answered that. But he won't answer any other text. I miss him and I am being a pest but I just don't know what to do. I want us to go back to being friends like we were before we dated...
t0ri Posted October 31, 2009 Posted October 31, 2009 Give him his space. He's obviously irritated with you, and contacting him more with probably only push him further away. Especially any pleading, begging, crying. Leave him alone, and let HIM be the one to contact YOU first. Stop your cycle, as hard as it may be. If you want to be the one doing NC, then do it!
Ariadne Posted October 31, 2009 Posted October 31, 2009 Does this make any sense? Hey Mollyanna, Last time I talked to you, you were leaving Florida to move up north to start a new life a few years ago (and at the same time forget D). Are you still in the same situation with some other guy now? And it sounds like he is tired of the little excuses for contact that's why he didn't respond, doubt that he is blocking.
Author Mollyanna Posted October 31, 2009 Author Posted October 31, 2009 OK, so I just texted him and said "Ok, I'm done and I'm sorry I can't fix this.." I can only hope now I am truly done. I feel like I am.. and Tori you are right, whenever in the past I have left him alone, he has always come back to me.. I guess I just freaked wondering if this time, he is gone forever.. and I panic. Ariadne, yes I did move and this is a different guy. (the guy from a few years ago and I are friends now and nothing more. he lives far far away and we saw each other a couple times this year and it was great AS friends only. Nothing else. Although, he did try to make a move and it was great that I got to be the one denying him! This new guy is one I met as soon as I moved here and we were friends for a year and a half before we dated.. oh how I wish it would have just stayed a friendship... we were great like that.
Bulldozed Posted October 31, 2009 Posted October 31, 2009 Do the opposite of me, and you'll be fine, believe me. Basic push/pull theory. Let him attempt to pull you (text, phone, etc)....push back (I'd love to chat, but I got to run) create the illusion that you're not sitting around waiting for him to call you and that you actually are living your life...he pulls, push back...at some point, he may slowly start to miss you and push for something more? who knows? Of course, I learned this theory on LS, too late in the game for me to re-write what I did wrong. Remember this: He/She who cares the least, controls the relationship!!
Ariadne Posted October 31, 2009 Posted October 31, 2009 Ariadne, yes I did move and this is a different guy. (the guy from a few years ago and I are friends now and nothing more. he lives far far away and we saw each other a couple times this year and it was great AS friends only. Nothing else. Although, he did try to make a move and it was great that I got to be the one denying him! This new guy is one I met as soon as I moved here and we were friends for a year and a half before we dated.. oh how I wish it would have just stayed a friendship... we were great like that. Who would have thought you'd be over that guy and see him as friends. Well, seems like things haven't changed.. but at least life is exciting.
Author Mollyanna Posted October 31, 2009 Author Posted October 31, 2009 Remember this: He/She who cares the least, controls the relationship!! Oh wow, I have heard that before and have even said it to others. Thank you for reminding me. You are right. If I can muster up some self control, surely we can be friends again. If I had scared him away too much, he wouldn't have answered me yesterday about the show, he would have blocked me already. Thank You. I know I am just lonely and I wanted to hang out with him for Halloween because we always have so much fun together..
Author Mollyanna Posted October 31, 2009 Author Posted October 31, 2009 Who would have thought you'd be over that guy and see him as friends. Well, seems like things haven't changed.. but at least life is exciting. I know, it's kind of crazy, right? I never would have thought I would be over him. But when I saw him in June, I was just totally turned off and couldn't even figure out what I had ever seen in him other than a friend. And I was NUTS over him before.
Bulldozed Posted October 31, 2009 Posted October 31, 2009 what's painful about my situation is my ex and I have been great friends since just after high school....like 16 yrs or so. Our whole group was like a cooler version of "friends"....when we re-met two years ago, it seemed like fate....we always used to joke that if neither of us were married when we were 40, we'd tie the knot. Well, as of a few months ago, that seemed like that was going to happen. I was always skeptical with our relationship early on, always thinking she wasn't over her previous ex....(this dude was bad news in every way)...and that I was nothing but a rebound for her...of course she assured me I wasn't and that she was emotionally detached from him for months and only stayed with him because his mother was terminally ill, and she felt too much guilt leaving to deal with that alone. Long story short, she never let him go, as his life spiraled down, ultimately into crack addition, who was there to help him put the pieces together? My ex, along with his brother and sister-n-law. The sis n law, is her closest friend to this day. Can't move on if you don't let go of your past. Oh well, I truly lost a great friend and the woman I loved!
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