JP2009 Posted October 30, 2009 Posted October 30, 2009 I decided I was done trying to get her to be a friend in my life four weeks ago and went complete NC. This morning I get a random text from her number. It says "Hey stranger... Just wanted to say hi. Hope your doing well!" I'm not taking this as anything more than a hi. But why does she do this? Why can't she just stay away? I didn't reply. Didn't know if I should or not. It wasn't really a question she asked.
rp123 Posted October 30, 2009 Posted October 30, 2009 I decided I was done trying to get her to be a friend in my life four weeks ago and went complete NC. This morning I get a random text from her number. It says "Hey stranger... Just wanted to say hi. Hope your doing well!" I'm not taking this as anything more than a hi. But why does she do this? Why can't she just stay away? I didn't reply. Didn't know if I should or not. It wasn't really a question she asked. Same as you. After 33 days I get a text, asking how I am, and can she talk. I blanked it, and have heard nothing more. that was almost 3 weeks ago. God knows if I've done the right thing..... The genneral consensus is that you should stay NC, until they say something really substantial. Personally, I analysed the the text I received so many times and attributed so many things to it. But if an ex wanted to be clear, why would they be ambiguous?
Oh Moe Posted October 30, 2009 Posted October 30, 2009 I can't get past two weeks with mine. Just Thursday after I ignored her several times over the last few weeks texted me are you alright, then whats wrong then calls in a panic well I wanted to know you were OK you've ignoring me. No Sh*t. I've only initiated contact 2-3 times in 8 weeks or so. Then when we do talk it starts out really nice then she slowly gets mean to me and just disappears. She needs to grow up.
BCCA Posted October 30, 2009 Posted October 30, 2009 She just wants some sort of validation. She wants you to reply just so she knows you will. What you got is often called 'breadcrumbs', meaning its just enough to get your appetite going, but not enough to fill you up. If you ignore her, and her attempts stop or are always vague in nature, assume she just wanted to know she still 'had' you, if you know what I mean. If she wanted to have a serious talk about trying it out again, I think you wouldve known. I can't get past two weeks with mine. Just Thursday after I ignored her several times over the last few weeks texted me are you alright, then whats wrong then calls in a panic well I wanted to know you were OK you've ignoring me. No Sh*t. I've only initiated contact 2-3 times in 8 weeks or so. Then when we do talk it starts out really nice then she slowly gets mean to me and just disappears. She needs to grow up. She gets mean and dissapears because once youve given her the validation that she can still get you on the phone, youve served your purpose to her, and she no longer really cares. Also, she wants to make it plain as day that shes not with you, so she'll do things to push you away (like be mean). Just keep ignoring. Those 'wanted to make sure youre ok' messages are a joke.
paperchase Posted October 30, 2009 Posted October 30, 2009 ...Those 'wanted to make sure youre ok' messages are a joke. Those messages should say wanted to make sure you're still pining.
torranceshipman Posted October 31, 2009 Posted October 31, 2009 Maybe she hasn't got any evil intentions and just wanted to say hi and hope you're ok, in the way you would with a friend?
Oh Moe Posted October 31, 2009 Posted October 31, 2009 (edited) I know she loves me but has some series mental issues. Read my post. I really want to just disappear from her life but I still love her. I twice suggested we return all ur personal things and she gets upset. I've done that with other relationships in my life, it's usually for the best. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=201361 Maybe she hasn't got any evil intentions and just wanted to say hi and hope you're ok, in the way you would with a friend? Edited October 31, 2009 by Oh Moe
Author JP2009 Posted November 5, 2009 Author Posted November 5, 2009 Well to make this more f'ed up than it already is. I work with her mom. Yesterday, her mom and I were talking over IM and out of the blue she said "(ex) asked about you last night, she said she seen you from a distance and you're looking good. Looks like you're taking care of yourself" This threw me for a loop, totally unexpected. I said well I didn't figure she cared about me anymore. Her mom then said "Well she askes about you once in awhile, so she still cares about you" WHAT THE HECK?? I know this probably means nothing as well. But I was doing so well at getting over this and thinking she has forgotten about me.
TaraMaiden Posted November 5, 2009 Posted November 5, 2009 "Well she askes about you once in awhile, so she still cares about you"...? What utter l3ull5h1t. She asks about you because she's curious about whether you ask about her! She wants to know if you still think of her and whether she still affects you. if she really cared about you, her mum would have said:- "Well she's always saying how sorry she is she broke up with you, cries every night and desperately wants you back, and wants to know that if she calls you would you see her?" But she never said that, and never will. It's all a line. Just fishing, just trying to reel you in, just throwing you breadcrumbs. Tell her mum: "Well if she cares so much about me, ask her please to leave me alone. If she cared that much, she would still be with me, wouldn't she?"
Confused728 Posted November 5, 2009 Posted November 5, 2009 mine text me to yesterday after a month of me doing nc, in that month he text me three other times, then not for about three weeks, then yesterday i got one that said "Good morning, Hope all is well with you:)" and he put a smiley face like that. i was tempted to answer it but i didnt, it really wasnt anything substantial i dont know if he was trying to start a conversation with that or what not, i told him three times before i was interestead in working things out. he didnt want to and just wanted to be freinds and mabey we could get back together and he wouldnt rule it out and that he just wasnt going to rush into anything, so i went NC.I think he just wants to go out and do whatever he wants and not have to answer to me, and still have me around, wants his cake and eat it to, but im not gonna give it to him, so i went nc. mabey he taking me serious now
Author JP2009 Posted November 9, 2009 Author Posted November 9, 2009 Alright, so it was bugging me and I came out and asked her mom why she would just bring up her daughter like that out of the blue. Her response was sorry I didn't mean to stir your feelings again. I just wanted to let you know that she still cares about you. She still hopes and prays that someday we can be friends. Ok all that is fine, but she should know that bringing that up to me is going to cause some confusion on my part, am I wrong? So me after the relationship wanting to be friends in the worst way, after this whol situation decided that obviously I'm not ready for a friendship with my ex. So I sent her an email explaining that I'm not ready for one. Never got a reply
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