littlebittle Posted October 30, 2009 Posted October 30, 2009 I've been nc with my ex-boyfriend for a few weeks now. I finally spoke to him today (I had told him I'd call him and check in with him on this date when we first decided to stop talking). He was the one who broke up with me, but he didn't want us to stop speaking completely. When we broke up, there were no hard feelings. There was no cheating involved, no fighting. There was still all of this love there. But neither of us are ready to be in a serious relationship, and we were both feeling pressure and fear. We were hoping to remain friends. It was weird to talk to him. At first he sounded detached and awkward. I kind of just wanted to keep things light, and after a few minutes he started to warm up more. We have plans to hang out on Sunday. I was thinking we could try to slowly ease into a friendship, but now I think that this is going to be more of a closure thing for me. This just doesn't seem like the right time for us to be friends, or boyfriend and girlfriend, or anything. I'm so so sad. I've never been in love. I've been in a number of long term relationships, but I've never found anyone like him. I attract a lot of nice, interesting guys, and I feel like people fall for me easily. But I never feel truly connected to them. Not only did I feel connected to my ex, but it's been such a positive, warm, supportive relationship. He's been such a good influence on me. We've encouraged each other to write more, drink less, exercise more, volunteer more. He challenges my intellect, he makes me laugh, he takes care of me and makes me feel loved and safe and understood on a deep, unspoken level. I know how much he cares about me. He's told me many times that being with me feels therapeutic and comforting, and that he's never met anyone he's felt more connected to. But things got serious way too quickly with us, and we've both been hurt in the past. We weren't ready for this kind of commitment. Now, things between us are strained, and we can't even be friends. The whole time we've been nc, I haven't pined for him. I haven't wished for sex or affection. More than anything, I've just wanted to talk to him. I don't have any illusions that we'll get back together. I don't like to think that way, because I won't get over this otherwise. I know everyone will say there are other fish in the sea, and all of those other things. I just want to say that I'm so sad that this fell apart. Any kind words would really help me right now.
Brightmoon Posted October 31, 2009 Posted October 31, 2009 I understand what you are saying and the sadness that you feel LB. Its the sense of lose in being cut off like that.... I don't know what else to say but that I hope your sadness lessens and to post you a big hug.. *Big hug*
symbol Posted October 31, 2009 Posted October 31, 2009 It's so normal to feel like this when you break up with someone that means so much to you. I can only tell you that the feeling will get less intense and you will find happiness again. It's so good that there are no hard feelings, so that you can become friends with him one day, when you put all this behind. You're not necessarily losing him. Once you get over your romantic feelings, you can become friends with him and have him in your life as a friend. I really hope you will come to that point emotionally. I'm sending you big hugs!
Author littlebittle Posted November 1, 2009 Author Posted November 1, 2009 Thanks guys. I just have to hope for the best, whatever that may be.
Recommended Posts