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Posted (edited)

What drives people to hurt them to their core? Is it selfishness, is it just total disrespect for the ones they claim to love? How much can you give of yourself before you truly lose yourself in the relationship and never find your way back when they decide it's over?

 

Loss of your husband. Your husband became "one flesh" with you. A husband is intended to be a part of his wife, spiritually, emotionally, sexually , and physically. Now that part of you is gone and you have no control over it." Rose Sweet ~ A Woman's Guide to Healing the Heartbreak of Divorce.

Edited by trippi1432
Posted

As someone who has really ****in lost it I would like to try and answer this question somewhat normal.

 

Let's investigate this as well as I possibly can. I met her young. 18 for me, 15 for her. Normal highschool romance, just evolved into more and we began our life together. Dropped out of college to support our life together and never had a second thought about doing so. Lived a good life together for about 5 years, she bails, and here I stand. Why she left? No idea. Why I'm basically clinically insane? Because I don't understand why she left. Why she has "moved on" so quickly after so many years together, so many years of me supporting her while she did abosolutely nothing. I try to analyze the situation rationally, but nothing makes any sense. Was I the "ideal" husband? No. We argued often, but never about anything serious. Say hurtful things? Probably, yet she did the same -- it's not like either of us were perfect.

 

As for losing your sanity trippi...I really can't help you. I get my "best" most quality thoughts out here...the rest I write on a pad that I read every morning. I gotta be honest, most of what I feel inside and I write down late at night -- scares the **** outta me when i read it in the morning. Not being ok and losing your sanity are so different. I can speak with you people...you don't know me and most likely never will. The people that know me don't just look at me as "not ok" but as someone who needs serioilus help. Hell, I feel as uf I should seek help...yet I don't want her to know i'm letting her do this to me. I want her happy...even if it means me never coming back from where I'm at now.

Posted
Loss of your husband. Your husband became "one flesh" with you. A husband is intended to be a part of his wife, spiritually, emotionally, sexually , and physically. Now that part of you is gone and you have no control over it." Rose Sweet ~ A Woman's Guide to Healing the Heartbreak of Divorce.

 

There's a lot of truth in this ~ be you a woman or be you a man.

 

But a lot of what hurts both is a common belief in cultural myths, fallacies, and outright lies.

 

"The ONE" ~ There is no " the ONE"

 

"One TRUE Love!" Perhaps for some? But not for most!

 

"Ever lasting Love!" Again perhaps for some, but not for most!

 

We get saturated with this in poem and song.

 

From our youth we hear about all of this.

 

But the stark reality of it is?

 

We're here to mate, pass on our DNA and die.

 

The rest is just romanticism at its best.

 

Now can one improvise, adapt and overcome that!

 

You bet!

 

But to do so? Takes two committed people. Informed, knowledgeable, and educated about the pitfalls that lay ahead.

 

Trouble is? Most people are simple, ill informed, un-knowledgeable and under-educated about the subject of inter-personal relationships. (Along with personal finance).

 

To add salt to the wound? They refuse to educate themselves of such?

 

In any given relationship? There's a fifty percent failure rate.

 

Either he's going to bail on you or your going to bail on him.

 

That's like getting on a plane in Atlanta with the Captain telling you, "You know? There's a fifty percent chance we won't make it to Raleigh, North Carolina?"

 

You can sit around for the rest of your life, "Could'e of, should've, would've of"

 

And that gets you a big fat nothing.

 

Did you fail him?

 

Did he fail you?

 

Did you fail each other?

 

Or did you simply just didn't have the right 'tool-set', knowledge, experience, to get it right the first time out the gate?

 

The first time someone threw a baseball was he ready to sign on with the Yankees? How about the first time threw a football, was he ready to sign on with the Raiders, the Colts, the Cowboys?

 

Did they have the experience, the knowledge, the skill set to do so?

 

I don't think so!

 

The job that I have now?

 

I sucked, almost got fired from it! Had absolutely no experience at it! Didn't have a clue. Totally clueless. Didn't have a clue as to what I was doing, why I was doing it.

 

That was five years ago ~ now? I've got it down 'Pat!"

 

I multi-task. I'm here there, and everywhere.

 

Ditto with relationships.

 

You've got to fall on your face a couple of times before you succeed.

 

You've succeeded by failing ~ because you've learned not to repeat the same mistakes again.

 

One of the definitions of insanity is repeatedly doing the same thing over and over again!

 

Congratulations!

 

You've discovered what doesn't work!

 

Now get you happy self busy finding out what does!

Posted
What drives people to hurt them to their core? Is it selfishness,YES! is it just total disrespect for the ones they claim to love? YES! How much can you give of yourself before you truly lose yourself in the relationship and never find your way back when they decide it's over?

In my definition of love, you always give your all! Yet without losing yourself if that makes sense. Your not suppose to give yourself away in a relationship, but share yourself! A relationship where one takes too much or gives too much cannot survive.

 

 

As someone who has really ****in lost it I would like to try and answer this question somewhat normal.

 

Let's investigate this as well as I possibly can. I met her young. 18 for me, 15 for her. Normal highschool romance, just evolved into more and we began our life together. Dropped out of college to support our life together and never had a second thought about doing so. Lived a good life together for about 5 years, she bails, and here I stand. Why she left? No idea. Why I'm basically clinically insane? Because I don't understand why she left. Why she has "moved on" so quickly after so many years together, so many years of me supporting her while she did abosolutely nothing. I try to analyze the situation rationally, but nothing makes any sense. Was I the "ideal" husband? No. We argued often, but never about anything serious. Say hurtful things? Probably, yet she did the same -- it's not like either of us were perfect.

Your looking for logic where there is none. The constant search for reasons and answers is just a form of self torture.

 

As for losing your sanity trippi...I really can't help you. I get my "best" most quality thoughts out here...the rest I write on a pad that I read every morning. I gotta be honest, most of what I feel inside and I write down late at night -- scares the **** outta me when i read it in the morning. Not being ok and losing your sanity are so different. I can speak with you people...you don't know me and most likely never will. The people that know me don't just look at me as "not ok" but as someone who needs serioilus help. Hell, I feel as uf I should seek help...yet I don't want her to know i'm letting her do this to me. I want her happy...even if it means me never coming back from where I'm at now.

See the above statement about giving too much of yourself. Why sacrafice your happiness for someone who isn't willing to do the same? (I did this for a long time, and is still my instinct when it comes to her, but not my action!)

TOJAZ

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