Jump to content

how do I try and workout relationship problems without sounding desperate or needy?


While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!

Recommended Posts

Posted

Lots of times with new girls I find myself getting frustrated and ending relationships without solving the problem. For instance one girl started being flaky as ***! after dating for a few months she started choosing to hang out with her friends over hanging out with me 8/10 times. I got frustrated and gave up on the girl completely telling her i didnt want to see her anymore. This happens with lots of girls i date. the problem never gets solved because I feel like im being taken for granted or i have some other problem with the girl and i end it. my question is. how can i talk to girls about our problems without sounding desperate or needy? I'm usually the one who ends it because i dont want to find myself under some girl's foot again. I'd like to avoid ending these relationships though.

Posted

Hrm. Um. The first thing that came to mind is that when I'm in a new relationship and I'm really into the guy, he doesn't have to beg for my time - I'm happy to give it to him. That's not to say it's healthy for a girl to give it ALL to a new guy. But for you to say that these girls are giving it to their friends over you 8/10 times tells me that they weren't really into you that much. And you say this is a constant problem with each new girl you date? Have you taken a look at the common denominator (that'd be you)? What kinds of girls would you consider your "type?" Is there one type in particular that you generally end up in a relationship with? I'm thinking that maybe whatever type it is that you're choosing, they aren't as compatible with you as you think they are (just because you're attracted to somebody does not equal compatibility). Also - what was your longest relationship and how old are you?

  • Author
Posted
Hrm. Um. The first thing that came to mind is that when I'm in a new relationship and I'm really into the guy, he doesn't have to beg for my time - I'm happy to give it to him. That's not to say it's healthy for a girl to give it ALL to a new guy. But for you to say that these girls are giving it to their friends over you 8/10 times tells me that they weren't really into you that much. And you say this is a constant problem with each new girl you date? Have you taken a look at the common denominator (that'd be you)? What kinds of girls would you consider your "type?" Is there one type in particular that you generally end up in a relationship with? I'm thinking that maybe whatever type it is that you're choosing, they aren't as compatible with you as you think they are (just because you're attracted to somebody does not equal compatibility). Also - what was your longest relationship and how old are you?

wait a second... first of all that was just ONE example of a problem i had okay? i didnt have 10 girls in a row that chose there friends 8/10 times.... lol. my point was that sometimes problems happen and i leave because i dont know what else to do.

Posted
wait a second... first of all that was just ONE example of a problem i had okay? i didnt have 10 girls in a row that chose there friends 8/10 times.... lol. my point was that sometimes problems happen and i leave because i dont know what else to do.

 

Well, unless youre not mentioning these issues to these girls at all (which, it sounds like you are), leaving was probably your only option. Have any of these girls asked for a second chance, or tried to win you back at all?

 

All you have to do is make your wants/needs known, and she either meets the standards youve set, or you walk. It takes two people to work out problems. I get the feeling youre leaving at the right times.

Posted

How old are you and how old are the girls you're dating?

  • Author
Posted
Well, unless youre not mentioning these issues to these girls at all (which, it sounds like you are), leaving was probably your only option. Have any of these girls asked for a second chance, or tried to win you back at all?

 

All you have to do is make your wants/needs known, and she either meets the standards youve set, or you walk. It takes two people to work out problems. I get the feeling youre leaving at the right times.

 

well yea the one i used as an example called me alot and would text me randomly. I didn't go back to her though.

Posted
wait a second... first of all that was just ONE example of a problem i had okay? i didnt have 10 girls in a row that chose there friends 8/10 times.... lol. my point was that sometimes problems happen and i leave because i dont know what else to do.

Calm down, dude.

Lots of times with new girls I find myself getting frustrated and ending relationships without solving the problem. For instance one girl started being flaky as ***! after dating for a few months she started choosing to hang out with her friends over hanging out with me 8/10 times. I got frustrated and gave up on the girl completely telling her i didnt want to see her anymore. This happens with lots of girls i date. the problem never gets solved because I feel like im being taken for granted or i have some other problem with the girl and i end it. my question is.how can i talk to girls about our problems without sounding desperate or needy? I'm usually the one who ends it because i dont want to find myself under some girl's foot again. I'd like to avoid ending these relationships though.

Your post was kind of vague. I was trying to figure out exactly what the problem was. It sounded like you were dating a bunch of flakes so I was trying to peg down how you were attracting these women.

 

How long are you dating women before you start running into "problems?" I'm also trying to figure out why you would consider it "needy" to communicate with your partner. Have you had problems with a girl in the past telling you that she thought you were for that reason? Again - post was a little vague, I'm just trying to understand.

Posted
well yea the one i used as an example called me alot and would text me randomly. I didn't go back to her though.

 

Ok, maybe I phrased that poorly.

 

Were any of the girls really shook up when you left, or were they like 'meh'.

×
×
  • Create New...