salem mark Posted October 30, 2009 Posted October 30, 2009 Im at wit's end (see my previous posts) I broke NC after girl dumped me last Friday, I treated her well by the way. She would contact me after and ask how was i doing but never said anything about reconciling. In the middle of this torturous week, my stepfather has a heartattack in FL and is not doing well. She is a nurse practitioner so I told her what was going on, I didnt mention us. This just happened yesterday, she told me to keep her posted. I went NC again She called, texted and emailed me at 6 different times today. Saying shes worried about me assumes I traveled to Fl, I havent yet. What do I do? Should I just tell her im fine he isnt and I cant talk right now HELP!!!
LovelyDaze Posted October 30, 2009 Posted October 30, 2009 Whatever you do, keep NC. If it is only hurting you to stay in contact with her, then don't respond again. It's like removing a scab over and over again when we have contact with our exes. They are toxic like a drug that when we see them, it feels good until they leave our system and we go through hell on earth. If you feel like you need to be cordial, say that things appear to be getting better and thank her for her concern...nothing more.
RoMeIx Posted October 30, 2009 Posted October 30, 2009 Honestly I would say to stick with NC. Think of it like this: Your break up caused you a mental wound, which with time will heal. Every time you try to contact her, you are basically picking the scab on the wound, not allowing yourself to heal. It is hard to let go. You feel like if you keep in contact that she will know how you feel about her and then maybe things will get better. That is not how it works. If she broke up with you, then she had her reasons, and no matter what you say, it will not fix things. I know it sucks, but it would be best if you just went NC.
Author salem mark Posted October 30, 2009 Author Posted October 30, 2009 leaving messages. nervously saying "are you OK are you all right, please call me still I shouldnt respond?
GorillaTheater Posted October 30, 2009 Posted October 30, 2009 leaving messages. nervously saying "are you OK are you all right, please call me still I shouldnt respond? No, you shouldn't. At all.
Author salem mark Posted October 30, 2009 Author Posted October 30, 2009 lovely daze you;re being a little contrarian, you said NC then cordially communicate some info
Bullydog1982 Posted October 30, 2009 Posted October 30, 2009 (edited) Salem Mark, I know I’m going to get flak from a lot of people here but I think a single measured/gauged response to your X may be warranted in this situation before going complete NC. Granted, it depends on a lot of factors (time together, reasons for the break, how close you were to each other’s families…ect…ect). Tough decision..... If you two were together for a long time (year/s), if it was a decent break (though I wonder if this is ever possible) and she was close to your step dad then me (personally) I would contact her (but then again I'm a decent person at heart). I would keep it brief, to the point and about your stepdad. Once you’ve let her know what’s up I’d be direct and tell (noticed I didn’t say ask) her that you appreciate her concern but not to contact you anymore. Then let the NC really start. But if she wasn’t close to your stepdad at all, then no, stick to the NC. She’s just trying to put herself at ease and right now it’s about you (and healing) and your step dad. She left you, she forfeited her right to care when she walked away. I wish you and your family the best during this trying time. Go forward, know yourself, love yourself and be happy with life. -Bullydog1982 Side Note: LovelyDaze: Your quote rocks, who said it? Edited October 30, 2009 by Bullydog1982
quarterlifecrisis Posted October 31, 2009 Posted October 31, 2009 In this case, I would say that she seems genuinely concerned about you and your stepdad. Given the situation, it seems fine to break NC to let her know things are ok, but then to tell her you need space thereafter. Then go NC after that. It seems a little harsh to me to have communicated a family emergency to her and then leave her hanging. Almost seems like you are playing games if you NC at this point without letting her know the going is rough but that things are ok.
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