star23 Posted October 29, 2009 Posted October 29, 2009 Hi guys I was just wondering if you had any idea why people decide to go on a break! I have posted a few threads but my main question is if someone dumps you, (my ex dumped me because he felt like a failure and was not sure what he wanted for the future) then why decide to go on a break for a month or so to decide how we both feel? Is this because they are unsure of breaking up completely?
alphamale Posted October 29, 2009 Posted October 29, 2009 there is nothing wrong with not wanting to see someone for a specified time period (i.e. 6 weeks) so that you can figure things out or get your head straight
Author star23 Posted October 29, 2009 Author Posted October 29, 2009 I can understand taking a break if ur feeling a bit messed up. But as a dumper is it because he is not sure if he is making the right decisions? and are breaks healthy? Do they allow people to really know what they are feeling?
Lamak Posted October 29, 2009 Posted October 29, 2009 I can't answer your first question, because I don't know what he thinks. Breaks seem like a good idea on paper, but can become highly confusing. For some it's just an easy way to let somebody down. In some situations, it does help. There's too many different variations to explain.
threebyfate Posted October 29, 2009 Posted October 29, 2009 People who are committed to the relationship and each other, don't need breaks. They work together towards reaching resolution.
Author star23 Posted October 29, 2009 Author Posted October 29, 2009 People who are committed to the relationship and each other, don't need breaks. They work together towards reaching resolution. Should I say that to him or will this add pressure?
threebyfate Posted October 29, 2009 Posted October 29, 2009 Should I say that to him or will this add pressure?I just took a quick peek at your first thread. No, stick to NC and if at all possible, try to move on.
Author star23 Posted November 1, 2009 Author Posted November 1, 2009 ok my ex contacted me lastnight. He text saying I miss you. i had had a few drinks and told him i missed him too. Then he asked if he could come over. I told him no because i had people over. He simply said "no problem have a good night". I didnt reply Then this morning he text saying sorry for texting you lastnight i do miss you and im sorry i shouldnt have text (we agreed nc for a month) hope you had a good night otherwise" I left it for a few hours then text back saying. its a bit long winded " i miss you too but you clearly are not able to decide if its enough to be with me and thats why u need to think hard about whether or not you want me in your life. These issues just dont exists (he thinks he is wasting my time because he is not sure if he wants kids, marriage etc) U know how i feel about you so you need to think about how you feel about me. Untill then im moving on in a way because i also need to accept that you might feel so unhappy with yourself for awhile and i cant wait. I told him that i wished we could get through this together but i kind of understand he needs to sort himself out alone. Have i done the right thing? He text back and said he it is up to him to sort his head out and find out what i want but understands he cant just hang around waiting. He then explained that although it has nothing to do with me he needs to figure out about going back to uni before he can make any decisions. Sorry to harp on guys but im struggling a bit? do you think he does want to get back, he is just a bit "messed up" ? HELP!
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