feel like such a fool

[confused&hurt]

i am feeling extremely hurt confused and guilty

 

i have been with my partner for several years but the past year or so our relationship has became rocky, all we do is argue. when we argue he calls me all the names under the sun and tellsme how ugly i am and that if he left no one else would want me, which certainly knocked my confidence.

 

Recently ive been going out and drinking alot and one night after alot of drink my friends partner came on to me, he told me he thought i was beautiful which after years of being told how ugly i was by my partner gave me a real boost.

 

Anyway we started seeing each other and i slept with him twice, i feel extremly guilt but in a way i was very happy as he said the right things and was gently with me and so loving. Things with this man finished after a month but i cant stop thinking about him. I know it could never had worked but when we were together he made me feel special and told me he wanted us to be together. We parted on ok terms and agreed to stay friends but now hes ignoring me and has been lying to me. His partner who i was friends with doesnt know anything but we have hardly spoke recently either.

 

Worse thing is i fear i may be pregnant - dont know for positive yet but if i am i wouldnt know who the dad was.

 

My relationship is a complete mess and my partner thinks i have cheated and it has made things worse i feel as though to move forward i should admit to it but fear if i do i have so much to lose as i may lose him and will certainly lose my friend. Also the other bloke would lose everything to.

 

Im a total mess at the moment and feel so depressed

[mzLoveLy]

wow! it is a tough predicament to be in but take a minute and think about what would benefit u! i know what it feels to be in a relationship like ur in that the guy at almost every chance he gets, he want to bring u down but u know what ? just because he says those things doesnt make it real, and if sum 1 came along and lifted ur spirits and made u feel good and resulted in u doing u, then so freaking wat. dont feel too bad about u cheating on him because it was his fault. if he wouldnt of been bringing u down and he would always treat u the way u should be, this wouldnt of happened. ur friend could of said those nice things to u and u would of taken it like a compliment and that was all, but since u were lacking that affection and that niceness then u did the only normal and obvious thing to do...u were vulnerable...now regarding the pregnancy i believe u shouldnt say anything until ur 100% sure..once ur sure then u explain to ur man and ur friend and friend's girl what happened..yes it will be hard but it has to be done..i truly believe u need to lift urself up to where noone can touch no matter how wbad of a situation ur in...F**k da world! Sorry, but i been hurt too in this way ...i didnt do what u did but who cares every1 is diff...hope ur better and not depressed anymore...