aboynamedmike Posted October 29, 2009 Posted October 29, 2009 So my ex and I have become friends on facebook again, have started talking online, and have been texting every now and then. She isn't dating anyone and neither am I. It's been about 4 or 5 months since we broke up and I still can't think of anyone but her. Is it a good thing if I try to make things work again? Or should I just leave it be?
WTRanger Posted October 29, 2009 Posted October 29, 2009 If she feels the same way about you that you feel about her, then maybe that might be a good thing. But if its just you feeling that way,its a bad thing to keep in contact with her.
aloneinseattle Posted October 29, 2009 Posted October 29, 2009 I have tried to do the "second chance" thing before, and it left me heartbroke and lonely the second time around. Do yourself a favor save yourself the heartache and find someone new. I wish I did instead of taking her back.
Thebob Posted October 29, 2009 Posted October 29, 2009 ONly if she feels the same way, if not don't even try. Move on is what I would do, but you have to see her reaction first. Thebob
Bullydog1982 Posted October 30, 2009 Posted October 30, 2009 There's an interesting thread about this sort of thing that popped up a while ago. Many of the long time members on this site got into a debate if Men and Women can really be friends, especially after romantic feelings were involved. I can't remember who said it (think it was Carhill) but he believed that it’s possible IF and ONLY IF there's no romantic feelings involved by both parties SO....here's something to look at…... Do you still have a strong thing for her in that way? Are these reciprocated from her (I'm talking actions here, not words because actions are what counts)? If yes, you do and she does (and its actions, not just words) then I think a reconciliation is possible. However; based on my findings on this site, second chances don't always work out and more often than not will leave you worse off then you began with. If no, you (deep down) still have those feelings and you know she doesn't, then no, this friendship will not work. If I was in your situation and it was eating me up inside I'd respectively tell her what you were feeling and ask her to leave you alone (go NC) until you're really over her. If she respects you and truly values having a real friendship with you she will understand. Then and only then do you actually a shot at being friends. That is if this is what you agreed on. Then when you’re really ready to be her friend, contact her and start your friendship off right. Just my two cents. Go forward, be true to yourself, love yourself and be happy with life (never quote this the same way twice!). -Bullydog1982
Thebob Posted October 30, 2009 Posted October 30, 2009 There's an interesting thread about this sort of thing that popped up a while ago. Many of the long time members on this site got into a debate if Men and Women can really be friends, especially after romantic feelings were involved. I can't remember who said it (think it was Carhill) but he believed that it’s possible IF and ONLY IF there's no romantic feelings involved by both parties SO....here's something to look at…... Do you still have a strong thing for her in that way? Are these reciprocated from her (I'm talking actions here, not words because actions are what counts)? If yes, you do and she does (and its actions, not just words) then I think a reconciliation is possible. However; based on my findings on this site, second chances don't always work out and more often than not will leave you worse off then you began with. If no, you (deep down) still have those feelings and you know she doesn't, then no, this friendship will not work. If I was in your situation and it was eating me up inside I'd respectively tell her what you were feeling and ask her to leave you alone (go NC) until you're really over her. If she respects you and truly values having a real friendship with you she will understand. Then and only then do you actually a shot at being friends. That is if this is what you agreed on. Then when you’re really ready to be her friend, contact her and start your friendship off right. Just my two cents. Go forward, be true to yourself, love yourself and be happy with life (never quote this the same way twice!). -Bullydog1982 Amen. bullydog ur becomin like caliguy everyday Thebob
ADF Posted October 30, 2009 Posted October 30, 2009 So my ex and I have become friends on facebook again, have started talking online, and have been texting every now and then. She isn't dating anyone and neither am I. It's been about 4 or 5 months since we broke up and I still can't think of anyone but her. Is it a good thing if I try to make things work again? Or should I just leave it be? Falling for an ex is almost always bad. Ex's sometimes do get back together, but it never lasts long. And subsequent breakups are often much worse than initial breakups. My rule of thumb is that ex's should stay away from each other for at least six months after a breakup. A year would be even better. No seeing the ex, no phone calls, no email, no texting. Let all that emotional stuff die down. Then, if you still want, you can try to be friends.
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