agapi Posted October 29, 2009 Posted October 29, 2009 So I have a dilemma and thanks in advance for reading this.... I was with my ex for about 2 years, he was in NY going to school and I was back home. We communicated every day; morning, noon and night. I would visit as much as I could and he would come and visit as well. We had our rocky moments, but overall things were great. He broke it off with me 6 months after he came back from NY, stating that he didn’t feel the way he should feel with me, and that things were just too stressful with family/work, and at that time things would not work between us; which truly crushed me and I stayed away from him even though he wanted to be friends after. I didn’t want ANY contact or see him after that. About a year later he contacts me non stop and wants to see me. I ignore the calls and texts and then one day he shows up at my doorstep. We talk and he wants to get back together. I’m hesitant, I do have some feelings for him but I’m not sure what his intentions are. He says that he made a mistake, he wants to try again and that he misses me. For a couple of weeks we hang out for coffee, talk, go on hikes, movies, ect; I guess you can say we were dating again. I’m still hesitant because I don’t want to get hurt again. It’s been about 7 months now and I had asked him to get tested just in case we do decide to get serious again. He gets his results back and he has an STD. He had stated that he wasn’t with anyone before, but after he got the test and when I asked him again he tells me that he went out with someone a couple of months after we broke up. Fine, whatever, that was not when we were together, but he obviously got something from her. SO…I had asked many times when we were together if he did anything in NY and he always would say "no". So, after this incident with the test and him getting an STD, I decide to ask him if he was with someone when he was in NY again the time that we were together. He hesitated and then proceeds to tell me that there was a situation a week before he left NY to come back home with someone once. I didn’t know what to say….Even though it has been a year and a half since the time he broke up with me, I truly felt sick to my stomach hearing that. He said that he does not talk to that person, that it just happened once and that was that. But the situation in NY was when we were technically together, and I thought the reason why he broke up with me was because he wasn’t ready, and didn’t feel the same not because he cheated on me. Alot of things made sense to me now... how he was distant with me when he came back... and other things as well...Anyway...now, I’m not sure what to do. I don’t know if I can trust him again, and I won’t know if he is telling me the truth again. In all honestly even though I do have stronger feelings for him than he does for me, what he told me changes the dynamics of him trying to get together with me again, because I know now that he did cheat on me, that he was not honest and he truly didn’t love me or treat me with respect. Another thing that kills me is that if the test was not taken, he would have given me whatever he had, and I would of never asked about NY again, thus not finding out about him cheating on me. He says that he is truly sorry, came to my work to deliver my first ever flowers from him to me, and tells me that he is not like that, a cheater. That he has never cheated on any of his other girlfriends, (so I was the lucky one), and that he feels that we can work this out. I don’t know what to do… I don’t think that I can be with him, I deserve better, even though it hurts because I gave SOOO much to this person AND gave him another chance. Am I off on this?… shouldn’t I be upset? Advise? Thank you....
whattodoooo Posted October 29, 2009 Posted October 29, 2009 you have every right to be upset and im sorry to say but you should stop talking to him you deserve better than that. he lied and cheated on you and that messes up the relationship in a big way, how will you ever trust him again? if he goes somewhere without you wont you wonder in the back of your mind if he is being faithful ? so he broke up with you because of someone else and now that their relationship didnt work out he runs back to you ? that isnt cool at all and you shouldnt have to worry about getting an std from him because of a girl he cheated on you with. It sounds to me like hes playing games and i think its better to stay away from him.
Author agapi Posted October 30, 2009 Author Posted October 30, 2009 I know...at the end of the day he did cheat on me.. regardless if I knew it then or found out later after he broke up with me. thank you for your responses...
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