EricaH329 Posted October 29, 2009 Posted October 29, 2009 Geez, where do I start? Me and this guy have known eachother since 6th grade. I had the biggest crush on him the whole year. We used to hang out together all the time. Then I moved away, and we didn't talk to eachother. I found him on the oh-so-wonderful myspace about 4 years ago and began talking again. Hanging out wasn't an option since he was in the military stationed in Iraq. We kept in touch, almost every day (with the occasional week intermission) and after about a year we decided that dating might be in our future. Needless to say, that didn't work out. We had stopped talking for a little while after that. We began talking, again, about a year ago and now that i'm single we decided to hang out. We had briefly talked about what we were going to do, and tonight we made actual plans. He asked me if I wanted to go on a real date so that I can give him some 'tips' on how to do it right, since he isn't having much luck with it. This is where I get a little confused. I'm not 100% sure if his reasoning for us going on a 'date' is honest or not. I wouldn't mind going on a real date with him, without any other motives. Basically, after all this rambling, what I really want to say is, if I take his word for it, and go on this 'date' for the sole purpose of giving him 'tips' I won't take it seriously. If I go out with him thinking it's a real date, when it might not be, i'll be misleading myself. Hmmmm. Maybe someone else can help me decode this? I think he might be too nervous to ask me out on a real date, considering the way things ended last time (which is just more story added to this already lengthy story) i'm not sure if he thinks i'll do it without a reason. What do you guys think?
xpaperxcutx Posted October 29, 2009 Posted October 29, 2009 The question is do you like this guy? You might be overthinking things just a bit. If you do not want to date him, then you shouldn't lead him on. But if you just want to see where things will go from this " date", then by all means go out with him. You just need to step back and not overthink that he has motives. Give him the benefit of the doubt.
Author EricaH329 Posted October 29, 2009 Author Posted October 29, 2009 The question is do you like this guy? You might be overthinking things just a bit. If you do not want to date him, then you shouldn't lead him on. But if you just want to see where things will go from this " date", then by all means go out with him. You just need to step back and not overthink that he has motives. Give him the benefit of the doubt. Ahh, i'm sorry if i've made myself unclear. He told me what his motive was, which was to get 'tips' on what to do better at going out on dates. I don't mind going out on a date with him. I also don't mind just hanging out with him. But he is considering this a 'date' when i'm not sure whether it's real or not. From what he says, it isn't. It's basically us going out as friends, treating it as a date so that I can help him out. But... again... i'm not sure if what he was saying is 100% honest.
boogieboy Posted October 29, 2009 Posted October 29, 2009 (edited) Since youre not going to lay this out to HIM, which you shouldve when he mentioned it...How would reactl if he started flirting with you on the date, which would turn it into a real date? In the moment, would you go with it, or would you shut him down for the alterior motive? Edited October 29, 2009 by boogieboy
trueblue72ny Posted October 29, 2009 Posted October 29, 2009 If you are cool with hanging out than you should go, but with no expectations just enjoy hanging out? ya know?? and if you have a good time and want to do it again, than cool! I think if you guys hang out again, after no too long you will find out if it is about you and him, or something else, ya know??? I think its hard knowing what someone’s real intentions are right off the bat.
Author EricaH329 Posted October 29, 2009 Author Posted October 29, 2009 Since youre not going to lay this out to HIM, which you shouldve when he mentioned it...How would reactl if he started flirting with you on the date, which would turn it into a real date? In the moment, would you go with it, or would you shut him down for the alterior motive? Since I have no problem with going on this date with him, no matter the intention, I wouldn't shut him down for either of his motives. The only thing i'm trying to figure out is what his motive really is. So that I don't mislead myself. We flirt a lot, but that's how we've always been. If you are cool with hanging out than you should go, but with no expectations just enjoy hanging out? ya know?? and if you have a good time and want to do it again, than cool! I think if you guys hang out again, after no too long you will find out if it is about you and him, or something else, ya know??? I think its hard knowing what someone’s real intentions are right off the bat. You're right. I should go into the situation with an open mind, not intending for it to be one way or another, and just see how it plays out. We are hanging out on Sunday, going to the shooting range (he's going to teach me how to shoot, always wanted to learn), and then on Monday we are going on our 'date'. I guess i'll pretty much know by the end of Sunday what his intentions are.
SincereOnlineGuy Posted October 30, 2009 Posted October 30, 2009 (enters while laughing...) Geez, GO on the date with him, with all of your concentration devoted toward giving him those tips (ahem, I said "tiPs"). That should cause you to relax and take a chill pill, and not think about this so much. Regardless of whether it is a real date, or a pretend date, you'll STILL be spending time with this guy you seem to be into, and the quicker you reach the relaxed stage with him, the more quickly you can learn something about what you're each seeking right now.
Author EricaH329 Posted October 30, 2009 Author Posted October 30, 2009 (enters while laughing...) Geez, GO on the date with him, with all of your concentration devoted toward giving him those tips (ahem, I said "tiPs"). That should cause you to relax and take a chill pill, and not think about this so much. Regardless of whether it is a real date, or a pretend date, you'll STILL be spending time with this guy you seem to be into, and the quicker you reach the relaxed stage with him, the more quickly you can learn something about what you're each seeking right now. Sincere, you are a doll!! The majority of the day today, I was thinking about this 'date'. I've come to realize that if i'm under the presumption that it's not a real date, i'll be more of myself. And I mean 'myself' in a way that's more relaxed. Not so worried about what i'm making myself seem like to him. I'm very, very excited! Mostly because this should be a lot of fun! I've known him for so long, and we've always gotten along very well.
SincereOnlineGuy Posted November 2, 2009 Posted November 2, 2009 I've come to realize that if i'm under the presumption that it's not a real date, i'll be more of myself. And I mean 'myself' in a way that's more relaxed. Not so worried about what i'm making myself seem like to him. I'm very, very excited! Mostly because this should be a lot of fun! I've known him for so long, and we've always gotten along very well. ...{makes the sound that Bert makes after Ernie plays another trick on him}
Author EricaH329 Posted November 8, 2009 Author Posted November 8, 2009 Ok so somehow we changed our plans to going out on a date tonight and tomorrow. I'm soooooo excited!! I haven't seen him in forever, and he's always so much fun to be around. Wish me luckkkk!!!
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