LostInLA Posted October 29, 2009 Posted October 29, 2009 What a way to throw me off my day! Ok technically NC for about a month or so, but he did text me a couple of weeks ago to let me know he transferred me some money for bills. Today he texted me, "how r u doing?" GAH! I'm annoyed with myself for telling him several months ago while we did our first round of NC that it felt like he didn't even care about me because he didn't even text me to see how I was doing. I REALLY shouldn't have said that. Now it seems to me that's why he texted me today, just because I brought it up in the first place. He probably doesn't even miss me. Ok, I don't even want to go down this train of thought. I haven't responded. I don't want to respond. He probably thinks I'm not responding because I'm still mad at him. I'm not responding because I want him to wonder about me. I want him to actually care! Of course none of this matters. I need to concentrate on myself. Please tell me that not responding is the thing to do. GRRRR
angelface78 Posted October 29, 2009 Posted October 29, 2009 DONT RESPOND!!! ITS JUST BREAD CRUMBS!!! YOU DESERVE BETTER!!! You have to do something different because if you keep doing the same things you'll keep getting the same results. SO DONT RESPOND!!!
Thebob Posted October 29, 2009 Posted October 29, 2009 Read every other post on this coping forum, and you'll get your answer... Don't respond unless he comes knocking on your door step crying, and pleading, and wants you in his life and proves his self-worth to you. Even if he does do that, then still question it. Don't reply, make him miss you, move on with your life and find someone who treats you with the respect you deserve. The end. Thebob
Author LostInLA Posted October 29, 2009 Author Posted October 29, 2009 Why do they do this?!?! Why breadcrumbs?
4givrnt4gtr Posted October 29, 2009 Posted October 29, 2009 (edited) uh oh.....does that mean that my "i miss you" message to my ex was seen as breadcrumbs??? Thats odd to me....in my mind im testing the waters to see if there is something to salvage...since he responded like he could care less, i suppose i have to move on...(regardless of the rest of broken hearted songs he has been putting on his facebook messages and stuff....it just makes me think he is pinning for someone else...or he is insane...either or...) Now if he, in his crazy mind thinks that im gonna go beg him to get back with me because I broke it off (with good reason! but does he agree??? im not sure) then we have a problem.....cuz i wont. This is the trouble with NC and all those games....who know what your ex has in his mind by sending you that message....you can only assume things according to your experience. But what if he/ she is actually trying to close off the gap? what if there was some sort of misunderstanding you're totally unaware of??? I know i will get boooed for this but I just makes sense doesnt it? Edited October 29, 2009 by 4givrnt4gtr
rp123 Posted October 29, 2009 Posted October 29, 2009 uh oh.....does that mean that my "i miss you" message to my ex was seen as breadcrumbs??? Thats odd to me....in my mind im testing the waters to see if there is something to salvage...since he responded like he could care less, i suppose i have to move on...(regardless of the rest of broken hearted songs he has been putting on his facebook messages and stuff....it just makes me think he is pinning for someone else...or he is insane...either or...) Now if he, in his crazy mind thinks that im gonna go beg him to get back with me because I broke it off (with good reason! but does he agree??? im not sure) then we have a problem.....cuz i wont. This is the trouble with NC and all those games....who know what your ex has in his mind by sending you that message....you can only assume things according to your experience. But what if he/ she is actually trying to close off the gap? what if there was some sort of misunderstanding you're totally unaware of??? I know i will get boooed for this but I just makes sense doesnt it? If you ask Caliguy, or any of the wise on this site, you will need to break down his door to show that your interested! You will need to sleep on his doormat in freezing conditions to show your integrity. Anything less? Breadcrumbs.....
Thebob Posted October 29, 2009 Posted October 29, 2009 If you ask Caliguy, or any of the wise on this site, you will need to break down his door to show that your interested! You will need to sleep on his doormat in freezing conditions to show your integrity. Anything less? Breadcrumbs..... Amen.. Thebob
Author LostInLA Posted October 31, 2009 Author Posted October 31, 2009 Well my ex knows that if he ever wants me back he will have to work at it. Actually, as far as he knows, he cannot ever get back with me, as I told him that during one of our last real long talks. Although he knows me very well and he might know that he maybe might have a small chance if he does everything humanly possible to win me back. But he won't. Meh. What was my point? haha
LovelyDaze Posted October 31, 2009 Posted October 31, 2009 Yes, he will have to work for it. The reason I believe that my ex still contacts me is because he thinks if it doesn't work out with his current girlfriend, he can always come back to me. Can't let him. I believe that we are entitled to make mistakes in relationships but we are not supposed to repeat them, we are supposed to learn from them. I am STILL hurting from my ex but I know I must keep NC for it to be really over and to see things crystal clear.
Author LostInLA Posted October 31, 2009 Author Posted October 31, 2009 OMG he texted me AGAIN today because I haven't responded to his last text. He said: So how r u doing? I texted last week but haven't gotten a reply so I'm curious if ur ok. I will transfer u the money again on my next pay. Oh yah, I forgot to mention that he wanted to remain friends after our split. I tried it out at first but it became too difficult. I know I'm still too mad with him to respond. I don't want to fall into wanting to tell him off. ... Wow I'm starting to get upset right now.
Author LostInLA Posted October 31, 2009 Author Posted October 31, 2009 Just chatted with a friend who said that he'll prob get more worried if I don't respond at all, which is probably true so I just replied to him. "I'm fine, thx" and I hope that will be the end of it.
Tamia78 Posted November 1, 2009 Posted November 1, 2009 Yes, he will have to work for it. The reason I believe that my ex still contacts me is because he thinks if it doesn't work out with his current girlfriend, he can always come back to me. Can't let him. GREAT attitude to have! Let him wonder. I broke NC a few days ago, and am starting back over after getting burned............again. He left me some breadcrumbs too ("I realize that you are the only one for me" and "We are supposed to be together"), but I'm not taking the bait. I haven't answered him yet, and don't plan to. Not sure what to do if he comes to my door (he lives 3 hours away), but I'll cross that bridge when/if I get to it. Stay strong! --T
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