skoolgrl Posted October 29, 2009 Posted October 29, 2009 My boyfriend that I have right now I have been with for only 5 months. His past relationship was for 6.5 yrs and were both only 21, so that means that he was with her since he was 13. He practically grew up with his ex. The problems is that I am extremely jealous of his ex. He has stopped talking to her and stuff, but they were together for so long that his whole family has this relationship with her that I do not have with them. So, even if my bf doesn't want her around, like he says he does, his mom and grandma invite his ex and her mom to come over and eat or just hang out. It really really bothers me even though my bf says that he doesnt even talk to her. Also, he has these pictures of when he and her were together all over his computer of trips that they took together and stuff like that and it bothers me soooooooooo much to know that it is there and that he might look at it all the time. I just cannnnnnnot STAND her at all.....and i am soooooooooo jealous. He says that he loves me a lot and things with me are so much better and so much different than they were with her in a good way and he is glad that he can trust me unlike his ex cuz she would party and drink and lie to him about things and he would catch her. Every once in a while too, shell text him and ask him if he has her history book or wtv or if he wants to go to a dinner with a bunch of their old friends, but he doesnt even respond. Just what can i do to get over this?!?! It drives me nuuuuuts! and the majority of our fights are about each others past. How do you deal with ur significant others past if it was so long???
whattodoooo Posted October 29, 2009 Posted October 29, 2009 well this is kind of tricky, i have been in this type of situation before and it didnt end up so well not to scare you or anything but in my situation the guy i had the experience with secretly talked to his ex but told me bad things about her as if he wanted nothing to do with her. have u asked him why he keeps those photos of her ? if you havent you should just ask why he still has the photos of her and if he doesnt care about her it shouldnt be a big deal for him to delete them. but at the same time your bf could be telling you the truth and you just need to trust him and deal with his ex being in his family, personally i dont think i could deal with that i would be jealous and bothered by it.
Javelin Posted October 29, 2009 Posted October 29, 2009 My boyfriend that I have right now I have been with for only 5 months. His past relationship was for 6.5 yrs and were both only 21, so that means that he was with her since he was 13. He practically grew up with his ex. The problems is that I am extremely jealous of his ex. He has stopped talking to her and stuff, but they were together for so long that his whole family has this relationship with her that I do not have with them. So, even if my bf doesn't want her around, like he says he does, his mom and grandma invite his ex and her mom to come over and eat or just hang out. It really really bothers me even though my bf says that he doesnt even talk to her. Also, he has these pictures of when he and her were together all over his computer of trips that they took together and stuff like that and it bothers me soooooooooo much to know that it is there and that he might look at it all the time. I just cannnnnnnot STAND her at all.....and i am soooooooooo jealous. He says that he loves me a lot and things with me are so much better and so much different than they were with her in a good way and he is glad that he can trust me unlike his ex cuz she would party and drink and lie to him about things and he would catch her. Every once in a while too, shell text him and ask him if he has her history book or wtv or if he wants to go to a dinner with a bunch of their old friends, but he doesnt even respond. Just what can i do to get over this?!?! It drives me nuuuuuts! and the majority of our fights are about each others past. How do you deal with ur significant others past if it was so long??? First of all, a relationship is as complicated as you - the two involved make it. That said, it really seems like your boyfriend and his family are the type of people that like dragging unnecessary relationships out. Which causes negative feelings to arise such as jealousy, hate, and anger. Unfortunately if you continue your relationship with him, your insecurities will drive you insane and I don't think there is anything you can do to change any of it. I'd suggest leaving him and try to find someone that doesn't want to hold onto the past.
shunter Posted October 31, 2009 Posted October 31, 2009 This answer is simple. He (and you) need to move away from your past. It sounds like you are doing that. But since you are fighting over this, either he loves her more than you or he is too stupid to solve simple problems. I say leave the loser and find someone who is over their ex. What did he do, break up with her a week before you two hooked up?
Recommended Posts